Iindaba eziBali ezivela kubantu abachaphazelekayo ngabazali boTywala
Abantwana abakhula emakhaya anxilisayo banokuchaphazeleka kakhulu ngamava kunye nemiphumo ingahlala ngaphezu kweminyaka yabo yobuntwana. Inokuchaphazela indlela abazibona ngayo kunye nendlela abajonga ngayo ihlabathi ngokwawo.
Encwadini yakhe, " Abantwana Abadala bezoNxila ," uDkt. Janet G. Woititz ubhale iimpawu ezininzi eziqhelekileyo ezabelwana ngabantwana abaninzi abakhuliswe nomzali onxilisayo .
Enye yale micimbi yindlela yokucinga ukuba yinto eqhelekileyo, ngenxa yokuba abazange bafumane "ubomi" bentsapho.
Abavakatyeli kwiziko le-Alcoholism ekuphenduleni umbuzo othi, " Uziva njani Ukhula Ngokomzali onxilisayo?" Cacisa oko kuthetha ukuthini ukuba uqikelele oko kuthanda ukuqhelekileyo:
Ngaba Akazange Afunde 'Ukuziphatha Okuchanekileyo'
Ndivakalelwa kukuba andizange ndifunde 'ezichanekileyo' zokuziphatha okanye iimpendulo kwiimeko, ndoyika kakhulu abantu abanobukrakra , igunya okanye nayiphi na ingxabano, kuba lula kubaxhatshazi ukuba bahambe yonke indawo njengoko ndibonakala ngathi ndivumba ' ixhoba 'lokuba banokuphunga i-mile. - JoJo
Ungaze Uve Ungavamile
Ndakhula ndithembele kumyeni wam 25 engama-15 iminyaka yokuqala. Ndineenkxalabo ezinzulu kunye, kwaye ndihlala ndilwa no kwamkelwa. Andizange ndiziva ndiqhelekile. Ndihlala ndiziva ngathi yonke inqabiseko yam iya kuphazamiseka nayiphi na umzuzu. Yiloo nto inqwenela ukuba ikhule kunye nomnxila onxilisayo. - Kathy
Ukujonga abanye
Akukho nentsapho ephelelekileyo kodwa iintsapho ezixhaphazayo zonakalisa umphefumlo. Ukuba ukhangele abanye ukuba bafunde indlela efanelekileyo yokuziphatha, ngamanye amaxesha akazizi kakuhle izinto ezintle ezilungileyo. Ukujongana nemiba yempilo yengqondo kunye nehlazo eliza nalo. Ngaba unokunqoba ukuvakalelwa kukuba awunelisekile, uvakalelwa ngaphakathi ngaphakathi. Ngaba ihlala iphela? - Sandie
Kakhulu, kakhulu ukukhishwa
Ndicinga ukuba esikolweni ndandiyeke kakhulu, ndaye ke ndaye ndaye ndayeka ukuthetha ngeklasini. Ndicinga ukuba lo ndoyiko olunzulu lokungaqhelekanga kwaye wonke umntu ufumana oku ngaphandle kokufumanisa imfihlo yam. Ndidibana nokuvakalelwa kukuba ngumntwana mhlawumbi ngenxa yokuba ngamanye amaxesha andinakube ngumntwana. - Engabonakaliyo
Ayikwazi Ukuvakalisa Iimvakalelo Zinyani
Ndiyaqonda ukuba ndiqhubeka ndiqhuba loo mthwalo wokungakwazi ukubonisa iimvakalelo zam zangaphakathi. Ndiya kuthiya ukukhala phambi kwabantu, njengoluhlobo oluthile lobuthathaka. - EWM
Unyaka Uqala Ukukwazi Ukuqhelekileyo
Kuthatha iminyaka yokululeka kum, xa ndandinabantwana ababini, ukuba ndiqale ukukwazi ukuqhelekileyo. Ndivuyayo ukwazi ukuba ngokuqinisekileyo ndikuncede ukuba ndibe novelwano kunye nokuqonda kubantu. Kuye uhambo olude kwaye lukhuni. Ulunge ngoku
Musa Ukuziva Njengomntu Omdala
Andizange ndive ngathi ndingenza nantoni na, ngoko andizame. Ubudlelwane, ulibale, kwaye ndiyalukhupha njengomzali. Ndihlala ndicinga ukuba yiyiphi into evamile. Andive ndingumntu omdala. - Kitten
Ungaze Uve Ukhululekile
Ndikunzima ukusondela kubantu kwaye andizange ndifune intsapho. Andiyi kuhlaziywa kwiintsapho kuba andiqinisekanga ukuba ndiziva ntoni okanye ndingazenza ntoni. Ndibeke emkhatsini we-dogfight kwaye ndinokuziva ngakumbi ekhaya. - uSawule
Iintsapho zichaphazelekayo
Ukuba ungumntu onxilisayo kwaye unabantwana, usenokufuna ukucinga kwakhona ngendlela ukusela kwakho kunokuchaphazela ngayo abanye kwaye uzame ukufumana uncedo lokuyeka okanye ukunciphisa ubuninzi bokusela kotywala obuthelayo.
Ukuba ukhule kwikhaya elinxilisayo unokufuna ukuthatha le mibuzo ukuze ubone ukuba unyanzelekile ngamava ngendlela ongayiqondi. Ukuba kunjalo, unokufuna ukucebisa iingcali okanye ufumane inkxaso kwi- Al-Anon Family Groups okanye iqela lokuxhasa abantu abadala abaTywala .
Buyela kwi: Iimiphumo zoKhula kunye noTywala
Imithombo:
UJanet G. Woititz, "Iziganeko ezi-13 zabantwana abadala," Isiko soLwazi. Fi kelele ngoNovemba 2010.
Abantwana abadala beNkcazo yeNkonzo yeSizwe yeNkonzo yoTywala, "Uluhlu lweMpahla yoLondolozo - Iziganeko ezili-14 zoMntwana omdala onxilisayo," (Kubanjwe kuTony A., 1978). Fi kelele ngoNovemba 2010.