Iindaba eziNene ezivela kwi-Adult Children of Alcoholics
Xa abantwana bekhulela ekhaya kunye notywala kunye nokuqhekeza ngokuqhelekileyo okujikelezayo, banokuba nemiba enzulu yokwethemba njengabantu abadala. Ubuxoki, iimfihlelo zokugcina, kunye nezithembiso eziphukileyo zonke zidibanisa ukuthumela umyalezo kubantwana abanokuba nethemba kubo.
Uninzi lukhula luba ngumntu omdala ongenako ukuthembela ngokuqinisekileyo nabani na, okuchaphazela ukuthanda kwabo, ubudlelwane bobugcisa kunye nolwalamano nabanye.
Baye badumala ngokugqithiseleyo ngumzali onxilisayo ukuba bavumele ukuthembela ngokupheleleyo.
Ukuba nemibandela yokuthembela yenye yezinto eziqhelekileyo ukuba abantwana abaninzi abanomdakwa banesabelo. Nangona ezi zinto ziqhelekileyo kubantwana abadala banoxwala, ziyakwenzeka kwakhona ngenxa yezinye iintsholongwane zentsapho kunye nemicimbi yophuhliso.
Abaveleli baphendule umbuzo othi " Uziva njani Ukhula Ngokomzali Onxilisayo Utshintshile? " Ngokuxelela amabali abo malunga nemiba engathembekiyo ngezantsi:
Andiyi kuthatha ithuba
Ndifuna ukuzithemba abantu kodwa kukho ilizwi elincinci kumva kwentloko yam ilumkisa ukuba ndihlale ndikhuselekile. Kulungele ukuba yedwa kunokuba ndize ndizithobele nakhona ithuba lokuba umntu angandisebenzisa kakubi ngokomzwelo ngendlela umama akwenza ngayo. - Pufflet
Ukukhubazeka ngokomzwelo
Ndiyesaba kakhulu ukuthembela kuye nabani na, ndiziva ndiphelelwe amandla. Ndingowesifazane oneminyaka engama-42 engazange abe nolwalamano olunxulumene nomntu. Ndiziva ndedwa kwaye ubomi bam bube yinkcitho epheleleyo nepheleleyo. Ndinqwenela umntu ukuba andithande, kodwa andinako ukuvumela umntu ukuba anqume ngokwaneleyo ukuthanda. Nam ndiyi-fixer, kodwa andinako ukulungisa. Ndiyingozi, ndingakwazi ukuhlala ubomi obonwabisayo abanye, abangazange bathande okanye bathembele nabani na. - Git It Girl
Andikhombi
Impembelelo yam yobuntwaneni sele ininzi kwaye inzima. Ndiminyaka engama-27 ubudala kwaye ndinebudlelwane obude bodwa obude bubi kakhulu. Ndiyesaba kakhulu ulwalamano kwaye ndingathembeli mntu. Ndiza kutshatyalaliswa kakhulu ebomini bam. - LW
Wonke umntu Uya kundivumela
Ndinezinto ezinzulu zokwethemba, ndikholelwa ukuba wonke umntu ekugqibeleni uya kundiyeka, kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo ayifanele. - Orla
Ngaba uthinteke?
Ngaba unenkathazo yokuthemba umntu? Ngaba uye wathinteka kwezinye iindlela ngokukhula ngotywala ekhaya? Unokufuna ukuthatha le mibuzo ukuze ufumane ezinye iindlela onokuthi uthintele ngazo ngaphandle kokuyiqonda.
Abaninzi abaninzi bamadaka obunxilongo abafumana kunzima ukuthembela baye bafumana uncedo ngokuba ngamalungu e- Al-Anon Family Groups okanye iqela lokuxhasa abantwana abaPhuzo bokuNxila .
Buyela kwi: Iimiphumo zoKhula kunye noTywala
Imithombo:
UJanet G. Woititz, "Iziganeko ezi-13 zabantwana abadala," Isiko soLwazi. Fi kelele ngoNovemba 2010.
Abantwana abadala beNkcazo yeNkonzo yeSizwe yeNkonzo yoTywala, "Uluhlu lweMpahla yoLondolozo - Iziganeko ezili-14 zoMntwana omdala onxilisayo," (Kubanjwe kuTony A., 1978). Fi kelele ngoNovemba 2010.