Ulonwabo: Luthinta impilo yakho kwiindlela ezininzi
Ulonwaba kunye nempilo sele ixhunyaniswe ngokukhawuleza ngexesha elide- "ukuhleka yonyango elona lihle" liye libe yintlanzi-ngenxa yezizathu-kodwa uphando lubuyisela oko abantu abaninzi baye babecinga ngokubanzi: ukuba ulonwabo kunye nempilo zixhomekeke ngokwenene, kunye nenqanaba lonwabo lonene liyakuthinta inqanaba lempilo yakhe.
Intsimi entsha yeengqondo ezintle zihlola izinto ezibangela ukunyamezela , ukuzonwabisa, kunye nempilo, phakathi kwezinye izihloko eziqinisekisa ubomi, kunye noko esiyazi ngoku ngokuphathelele ezi zihloko kunokusinceda sonke siphile ubomi obuphilileyo, obunentsingiselo- kunye nokunciphisa uxinzelelo ngexesha elinye.
"Amava anokukhuthaza ukuvakalelwa kukubangela ukuba imvakalelo ephazamisayo ichithe ngokukhawuleza. Amandla kunye nobuhle ... kusebenze ukuxhamla ngokubhekiselele kwintlekele kunye nokuchaphazeleka kwengqondo, kwaye kungaba yintloko yokwakha ukuzinza. Iingcali ezingcono kakhulu aziphilisi nje umonakalo; banceda abantu baqaphele kwaye bakhe amandla abo nobuchule babo, "kubhala uMartin Seligman, owayengumongameli we-American Psychological Association kunye noyise wentsimi yeengqondo ezintle, encwadini yakhe ethi True Happiness. Kwaye uphando oluqinileyo luya kugqitywa, luxhasa le mbono. Nazi zimbalwa iziphumo ezibalulekileyo kwintlalo kunye nempilo.
Inwabe kunye nobude obude
Uphononongo oluphawulekayo olubandakanya amantonga lwalukwazi ukufumana iingeniso zezempilo eziza nemvakalelo emihle. (Izifundo ze-Nun zisebenza kakuhle ngenxa yokuba ezinye izinto ezihlukeneyo zendlela yokuphila ziyafana, ngoko ke ukungafani kwaxelwa ukuba kuncinci kuncitshiswe kwizinto ezimbalwa, njengobuntu kunye nombono.) Ekufundeni ubomi kunye nokufa kweendoda, zinikezwa iingcamango zabo , abaphandi bakwazi ukwenza ukufumanisa okubalulekileyo malunga nolonwabo kunye nemvakalelo enempilo enxulumene nokuphila ixesha elide!
I-90% yesigxina esineyona ntlonelo yayisaphila eneminyaka engamashumi asibhozo anesihlanu, kanti kuphela i-34% yecandelo elincinane elivuyayo lihlala kuloo nyaka. Ngokufanayo, u-54% wesine ovuyoleyo wesine wayephila eneminyaka engamashumi asithoba anesine, ngokumalunga no-11% wancinci.
Ulonwabo noMtshato
Njengokuba oko kungonelanelekanga, imvakalelo ekhuthazayo idibaniswa nophando ukuzaneliseka komtshato.
Kwelinye uphando olumangalisa, abaphandi bakwazi ukuhlola ukunywazisa kokubhenkcezwa kweefoto zonyaka zonyaka kunye nokuqikelela ukuba ngubani, ngokuqhelekileyo, uya kuba yintsapho engatshatanga, ahlale esatshatileyo kwaye abe noluntu olungakumbi kwimpilo emithathu kwiminyaka emashumi amathathu alandelayo. (Isicatshulwa: kwakhona, kwakhona, iqela elivuya kakhulu.) Yintoni ebethayo ngolu hlobo kukuba ulwalamano oluhle ludibaniswe nokukhuseleka ngamandla kwaye, ngoko ke, impilo jikelele kwaye ke 'ukuqhubekela phezulu' kuyaqhubeka. Le ndlela yindlela enokubambisana ngayo.
Ulonwabe kunye nokuthemba
Abaphandi baye bafumana ithemba lokuba nexesha elide. Ukuzikhethela kuyahluke kwiimvakalelo ezintle, nangona ezo zibini zihlobene. Noko ke, kunokuba nje uvuyiswe, i-optimism iyakuthi ibone ihlabathi ngendlela ecacileyo: xa iziganeko ezintle zenzeke ebomini babo, zizinikela ngokwabo ngetyala, zibonisa ukuba ibangelwa zizinto ezihlala phantsi kolawulo lwazo, kwaye zibona isiganeko ngasinye esihle sayine ukuba ezinye iimeko ezilungileyo ziza kuza. Le lensi ecacileyo apho babona ihlabathi libavumela ukuba bagcine indawo yokulawula yangaphakathi (umvo wolawulo lomntu phezu kwezinto), kwakunye nokuziphatha okukhuthaza impilo kunye neentlobo ezininzi, kuquka ukuhlala ixesha elide: ukufundisisa yafumanisa ukuba abaxhasi babeneminyaka engama-19% yokuphila kwedwa.
Ngokucacileyo, ulonwabo kunye nempilo kunokudibaniswa nethemba.
Ulonwabe kunye 'Nokukhusela Okukhulileyo'
Enye into ehambelana kakhulu neemeko ezintle kunye nethemba liluhlu lwezinto ezinamandla ezibizwa ngokuba 'zikhuselekile ngokomoya.' Ezi mpawu, ezingabonakaliswa ngumntu wonke, kwaye ziyahlukahluka kwixesha lokuphila, kubandakanya i- altruism , ukukwazi ukulibazisa ukuxhaswa, ukucinga kwangaphambili kunye nokuhleka . Ngokwe-Harvard isifundo esilandela iqela lamadoda ngokuphila kwabo, izikhuselo ezikhulileyo zixhamle kunye nokuvuyela ekukholeni, kwimali engenayo kunye nokuguga ngamandla kumadoda avela kwimvelaphi eyahlukeneyo.
Inwabe kunye neMpilo
Umphandi onoyolo uRobert Holden wenza uphando kwaye wafumanisa ukuba abantu abangama-65 kwabangama-100 babeya kukhetha ulonwabo kwimpilo, kodwa bobabini baxabiseke kakhulu.
Ngethamsanqa, asinakukhetha: ulonwabo kunye nempilo zihamba ngesandla. Njengoko u-Holden wathi, "[T] apha akukho nto yezempilo ngaphandle kwenjabulo".
Kukho ubungqina obuninzi bokuthi ukungonwabi-uxinzelelo, ukuxhalaba kunye nokuxinezeleka , umzekelo-nazo zidibaniswa neziphumo zempilo ezihluphekayo. Ezi zinto ezimbi, ukuba zingapheliyo , zinokunciphisa umzimba kwaye zikhulise ukuvuvukala emzimbeni okhokelela kwiinkitha nezifo ezininzi. Imigaqo yesimo sengqondo esilungileyo ingakwazi ukulwa nala mazwe angalunganga, okwandisa ukwanda kwempilo.
Imithombo:
UBorysenko, J. Ukucinga umzimba, ukulungisa ingqondo. I-Hay House Publications , 2007.
Holden, R. Yiba nolonwabo: ukukhulula amandla onoyolo kuwe. I-Hay House Publications , 2009.
Peterson, C. I-primer kwi-psychological positive. I-Oxford University Press, Inc. , (2006).
I-Seligman, MEP Inenelo enobulungisa: Ukusebenzisa i-psychology entsha enokuqonda ukukwazi ukuzaliseka kwakho. I-Free Press , (2002).