Ukuhlala uncomekile kunokuphucula ukuphathwa kwengcinezelo, imveliso kunye nempilo yakho
Ngaba uyazi umntu obonakala ehlala emomotheka kunye nengcamango efanelekileyo? Okanye ngaba wena ungomnye walabo bantu bazele ithemba? Ubunzima bubonwa nje ngokuba 'amava okufunda' ngamathemba, kwaye kwanexesha elona lusizi lihlala liphethe isithembiso kubo 'mhlawumbi kusasa kuba ngcono.'
Ukuba usoloko ubona uhlangothi olungakumbi lwezinto, unokuba unomuva wokuba ufumana iziganeko ezintle ebomini bakho kunabanye, zifumanise uxinzelelo, kwaye ujonge neenzuzo ezinkulu zempilo.
Oku akusikho ukucinga kwakho.
Abaphandi abanjengoMartin Seligman baye bafunda ithemba kunye neengxaki zeminyaka, kwaye baye bafumanisa ukuba iimbono zehlabathi ezinethembayo zithatha inzuzo ethile.
Iingenelo zoBuchule
IMpilo ephezulu
Kuhlolisiso lwabafundi abangama-99 base-Harvard kwiYunivesithi, abo babenethemba elineminyaka eli-25 babephilile kakhulu kwiminyaka engama-45 nangama-60 kunabo babengenangqondo. Ezinye izifundo ziye zadibanisa isitayela esichazayo esingenangqondo kunye namazinga aphezulu yezifo ezithathelwanayo, impilo embi kunye nokufa kwangaphambili.
Impumelelo enkulu
U-Seligman wahlalutya iifayile ezichazayo zeqela lezemidlalo kwaye wafumanisa ukuba amaqela athembekileyo adala i-synergy efanelekileyo kwaye yenziwa ngcono kunezinto ezingathembekiyo . Olunye uphando lubonisa ukuba abagijimi abathandabuzayo ababekhokelwa ekubeni bakholelwa ukuba babebenzele kakubi kunokuba babenabo babelindelekile kwixesha elizayo. Ababhukumileyo abanokushukuma abazange babe nobuthathaka.
Uphando olunje luye lwakhokelela ezinye iinkampani ukuba ziphume kwindlela yazo zokuqesha abaxhasi - umkhuba obonakala uhlawula.
Ukunyamezela
Abaxhasi abanokuphelelwa kancinci nje ngeengxaki, kwaye banako ukuphumelela ngenxa yoko. Abanye abantu abathengi bezentengiselwano, njengoDonald Trump, baye bachithwa (nangona maxesha amaninzi), kodwa baye bakwazi ukuqhubeka nokuguqulwa kwabo kwiimali.
Impilo Yengqondo
Kuhlolisiso lwezigulane ezixinzelelekileyo ezikliniki, kwafumaniswa ukuba iiveki ezili-12 zonyango olusisigxina (olubandakanya ukurhoxisa iingcinga zomntu) zisebenza kangcono kunezilwanyana, njengoko utshintsho lwaluhlala ixesha elide ngaphezu kokulungiswa kwesikhashana. Izigulane ezaba nelo qeqesho ngokunethemba lalinokukwazi ukusingatha ngokuthe ngqo ukusilela kwexesha elizayo.
Ukwanda kweLunga
Kwisifundo esilandelayo se-34 abadlali beHolo yeFame yeFlabathi abadlali abadlala phakathi kwe-1900 no-1950, ithemba lihlala ixesha elide. Olunye uphando lubonise ukuba izigulane zengqondo zomhlaza zesifuba zinemiphumo engcono yezempilo kunezigulane ezingathembekiyo kunye nezigulane.
Ngaphantsi koxinzelelo
Iingcamango zivame ukufumana uxinzelelo oluncinci kunezinto ezixhomekeke kwiingxaki. Ngenxa yokuba bakholelwa ngokwabo kunye nobuchule babo, balindele ukuba izinto ezintle zenzeke. Babona imicimbi engafanelekanga njengemingcipheko encinci ukuba iyanqotshwa kalula, kwaye ibone iziganeko ezintle njengobungqina bezinto ezilungileyo ezizayo. Ukukholelwa ngokwabo, nabo bathatha ingozi emininzi kwaye benze iziganeko ezintle kwimpilo yabo.
Ukongezelela, uphando lubonisa ukuba abaxhasi banokusebenza ngokunyanzeliswa koxinzelelo , ukuthanda iindlela ezinciphisa okanye zokuphelisa izixinzelelo kunye nemiphumo yazo.
Iingcamango zisebenza kanzima ekulawuleni uxinzelelo, ngoko bancinci.
'Isicatshulwa' sichazwa
'Isitayela esichazayo' okanye ' isitayela somfanekiso ' sichaza indlela abantu abachazela ngayo iziganeko zobomi babo. Kukho iinkalo ezintathu zokuthi abantu bangachazela njani imeko. Oku kunokuchaphazela ukuba bayancika ekuxhaseni ithemba okanye kwiingxaki:
Ukuzinza nokungaqiniseki: Ngaba ixesha lingatshintsha izinto okanye ukwenza izinto zihlale zifanayo kungakhathaliseki ixesha?
I-Global vs. Local: Ingaba imeko ibonakalisa inxalenye eyodwa yobomi bakho, okanye ubomi bakho bonke?
Ngaphakathi nangaphandle: Ngaba uziva ukuba iziganeko zibangelwa nguwe okanye ngaphandle kwamandla?
Iingxelo zibona izinto ngokucacileyo, kodwa ininzi yethu ayiyiyo into. Uninzi lwethu, ngokwezinga, lithetha iziganeko ebomini bethu ngokuthe tye okanye ngokungenangqiqo. Umzekelo ubonakala kanje:
Ezigqibeleleyo
Iingcamango zichaza iziganeko ezintle njengoko zenzeke ngenxa yabo (yangaphakathi). Baphinde babone njengobungqina bokuba izinto ezintle ziza kwenzeka kwixesha elizayo (ezinzile), nakweminye imida yobomi babo (jikelele). Ngokwahlukileyo, babona imiphumo emibi njengokuba bengekho iphoso (zangaphandle). Baphinde babone njengama-flukes (ahlukeneyo) anokungenzi nantoni na kwezinye iinkalo zobomi babo okanye iziganeko ezizayo (zendawo).
Umzekelo, ukuba umntu othembekileyo ufumana ukukhushulwa, mhlawumbi uya kukholelwa kukuba ulungile emsebenzini wakhe kwaye uya kufumana amanzuzo kunye nokukhuthazwa kwixesha elizayo.
Ukuba uthe wadlulela ukukhushulwa, mhlawumbi ngenxa yokuba wayenenyanga-engekho ngenxa yeemeko ezandisayo, kodwa uya kwenza ngcono ngekamva.
Pessimists
AmaPassimist bacinga ngendlela eyahlukileyo. Bakholelwa ukuba iziganeko ezimbi zibangelwa ngabo (ngaphakathi). Bakholelwa ukuba enye impazamo ithetha ngaphezulu kuza (ukuzinza), kwaye iimpazamo kwezinye iindawo zobomi aziphephekiyo (jikelele), kuba ziyimbangela.
Ziyabona iziganeko ezintle njengezifo (zendawo) ezibangelwa izinto ezingaphandle kolawulo lwazo (zangaphandle) kwaye mhlawumbi aziyi kuphinda ziphinde zenzeke (ezingaqinisekanga).
Ingxaki yokubona ingxaki yayiza kubona ukunyuswa njengomcimbi onenhlanhla mhlawumbi ongeke kwenzeke kwakhona, kwaye usenokukhathazeka ukuba ngoku uya kuphinda ahlolisiswe. Ukugqithiselwa ukuphakanyiswa mhlawumbi kuya kuchazwa ngokungabi nazakhono ezaneleyo. Ngoko ke kulindeleke ukuba adlulwe kwakhona.
Oku kuthetha ntoni
Ngokuqondakalayo, ukuba unethemba, oku kubhalela kakuhle ikamva lakho. Iziganeko ezimbi ziyakwazi ukugqithisa umva wakho, kodwa iziganeko ezintle ziqinisekisa ukukholelwa kwakho, ukukwazi kwakho ukwenza izinto ezintle zenzeke ngoku nakwixesha elizayo, kunye nokulunga kobomi.
Ngethamsanqa ngenxa yeengxaki kunye neengcamango, le ndlela yokucinga ingakwazi ukufundwa kwizinga (nangona sivame ukuxhomekeka kwiimeko zethu zokucinga.) Ukusebenzisa isenzo esibizwa ngokuthi ' ukulungiswa kwengqondo ,' unokuncedisa wena nabanye ukuba ube nethemba ngakumbi Ukucingela ngokukhawuleza ukucinga okungalunganga, ukuzinqamla nokubeka endaweni yecandelo leengcinga zokucinga.
Funda kabanzi malunga nendlela yokuba nethemba , uze ufumane indlela yokukhulisa umntwana onethemba.
Imithombo:
Peterson, uChristopher; Seligman, uMartin E .; Vaillant, uGeorge E .; Isicatshulwa esicacileyo sengqondo yinkalo yobungozi bokugula: Isifundo esinesigxina seminyaka emashumi mathathu anesihlanu. Umbhalo woBuntu kunye neNzululwazi yeNtlalo , Vol 55 (1), Julayi, 1988. iphe. 23-27.
Peterson, C. (2000). Ikamva lokuthemba. I-American Psychologist, 55, 44-55.
Solberg Nes, LS, & Segerstrom, SC (2006). Ukuxhomekeka kokuxhomekeka kunye nokujamelana: Ukuphononongwa kokuhlaziywa kwemitha. Ukuhlaziywa koBuntu kunye noPhuhliso lwezeNtlalo, 10, 235-251.