Iingcali zengqondo zichaza njani kwaye zichaze uthando
Kutheni abantu bebathandana? Kutheni ezinye iintlobo zothando zihlala njalo kwaye ezinye ziphela kangaka? Iingcali zengqondo kunye nabaphandi baye bathetha iingcamango ezahlukeneyo zothando ukuba bachaze indlela iintlobo zothando kunye nokunyamezela.
Uthando luyimvakalelo engundoqo yabantu, kodwa ukuqonda indlela kwaye kwenzeka ntoni ukuba akunjalo. Enyanisweni, ixesha elide, abantu abaninzi bacetyisa ukuba uthando luyinto nje eyinqaba, eyimfihlelo kunye nengokomoya ukuze inzululwazi iqonde ngokupheleleyo.
Ezi zilandelayo zizine zeengcamango eziphambili ezicetywayo ukucacisa uthando kunye nezinye izinto ezinxulumene nomoya.
Ukuthandana nokuthanda
Isazi sezengqondo uZick Rubin sicetyiswa ukuba uthando lomthando lwenziwa ngezinto ezintathu:
- Ukuncedisa
- Ukunyamekela
- Ulwalamano
URubin wayekholelwa ukuba ngamanye amaxesha sinamaxabiso amaninzi kunye nokunyaniseka kwabanye. Siyakuthanda ukuchitha ixesha kunye nabo kwaye sifuna ukuba phakathi kwabo, kodwa oku akufanelekanga njengothando. Kunoko, uRubin ubhekisele kule nto ethanda. Uthando, ngakolunye uhlangothi, lunzulu kakhulu, lukhulu ngakumbi, kwaye luquka umnqweno oqinileyo wobudlelwane obusondeleyo kunye noqhagamshelwano. Abantu "abafana" bathandana nenkampani yomnye, ngelixa abo "bathandana" banenkathalo enkulu malunga neemfuno zomnye njengoko bezenza ngokwabo.
Isinamathiselo sinesidingo sokufumana unyango, ukuvunyelwa kunye nokuqhagamshelana nomzimba nomnye umntu. Ukunyamekela kubandakanya ukuxabisa omnye umntu iimfuno kunye nolonwabo njengakho.
Ubusondelelwano lubhekisela ukwabelana ngeengcamango, iiminqweno kunye neemvakalelo ngomnye umntu.
Ngokusekelwe kule nkcazo, uRubin waqulunqa i-questionnaire ukuvavanya isimo sengqondo ngabanye kwaye wafumanisa ukuba ezi zilinganiso zokuthanda nokuthanda zinike inkxaso ngenkxaso yakhe yothando.
Uvelwano kunye noThando oluMnandi
Ngokutsho kwengcali yeengqondo uElaine Hatfield kunye noogxa bakhe, kukho ezimbini iintlobo zothando:
- Uthando olunemfesane
- Uthando olunomdla
Uthando olunemfesane lubonakaliswa ngentlonelo, ukudibanisa, ukuthandana, nokuthembela. Uthando olunesihe luvame ukuvela kwimvakalelo yokuqonda kunye nokuhlonelana omnye nomnye.
Uthando olunomdla lubonakalisa iimvakalelo ezinzulu, ukukhwabanisa ngokwesondo, ukuxhalaba kunye nothando. Xa ezi zizwe zivakalelwa, abantu baziva bevuyisiwe kwaye bazalisekile. Uthando olungathandabuzeki lukhokelela ekuvezeni ukuphelelwa yithemba nokuphelelwa lithemba. UHatfield ucebisa ukuba uthando olunomdla luphelileyo, luhlala luhlala phakathi kweenyanga ezi-6 no-30.
UHatfield uphakamisa ukuba uthando olunomdla luvela xa ulindelo lenkcubeko lukhuthaza ukuwela emthandweni, xa umntu edibana nemibono yakho yangaphambili yothando olufanelekileyo, kwaye xa ufumana ukuphakama komzimba obusondeleyo phambi komnye umntu.
Ngokufanelekileyo, uthando oluthandwayo lukhokelela ekuthandweni kothando, oluhlala luhlala luhlala luhlala luhlala luhlala luhlala luhlala luhlala. Ngelixa abaninzi abantu banqwenela ubudlelwane obudibanisa ukhuseleko kunye nokuzinza kovelwano kunye nothando olunzulu, uHatfield ukholelwa ukuba oku kuyintlekele.
Umzekelo Wemibala Yomlilo Wothando
Kwincwadi yakhe ye-1973 I-Colours of Love , isazi sezengqondo uJohn Lee wafanisa izitayela zothando kumvili wemibala.
Kanye njengoko kukho imibala emithathu ephambili, u-Lee wacebisa ukuba kukho iindlela ezintathu zokuqala zothando. Ezi ndlela zintathu zothando zi:
- I-Eros: Igama elithi eros livela kwigama lesiGrike elisho "unomdla" okanye "u-erotic". U-Lee wacebisa ukuba lolu hlobo luthando lubandakanya kokubili ukunyamekela ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo.
- I-Ludos: I- Ludos ivela kwigama lesiGrike elisho "umdlalo." Eli hlobo luthando lithathwa njengoludlalwayo kwaye lunomdla, kodwa kungekhona lukhulu. Abo babonisa le ndlela yothando abanakulungele ukuzibophezela kwaye baqaphele ngokusondelana kakhulu.
- I-Storge : I-Storge ivela kwigama lesiGrike elisho "uthando lomzwelo." Olu hlobo luthando luvame ukumelelwa uthando lomndeni phakathi kwabazali nabantwana, abantakwabo, kunye namalungu entsapho enwetshiwe. Olu hlobo luthando lunokuphuhliswa kobuhlobo apho abantu ababelana ngeminqweno kunye nokuzibophezela ngokukhawuleza bahlakulele uthando omnye komnye.
Ukuqhubela phambili umbala wesiganeko sombala, u-Lee wacetyisa ukuba njengoko imibala ephambili inokudibaniswa ukudala imibala ehambelanayo, ezi zintathu zindlela zokuqala zothando zingabandakanywa ukuze zenzele iintlobo ezi-9 ezahlukeneyo zothando zesekondari. Ngokomzekelo, ukudibanisa i-Eros kunye neLudos kwiziphumo kwimania okanye uthando olugqithisileyo.
Izindlela ze-6 ze-Lee zoLuthando
- Iintlobo eziphambili eziphambili:
1. Eros - Ukuthanda umntu ococekileyo
2. Ludos - Uthando njengomdlalo
3. I-Storge - Uthando njengobungane - Izithathu zesekondari:
1. I-Mania (Eros + Ludos) - Uthando olunzulu
2. Pragma (Ludos + Storge) - Uthando olwenene noluncedo
3. Agape (Eros + Storge) - Uthando olungenanto
Iingqungquthela zengqungquthela yothando
Isazi sengqondo sikaRobert Sternberg sicebisa icandelo leengqungquthela ezibonisa ukuba kukho izinto ezintathu zothando:
- Ulwalamano
- Ukunyuka
- Ukuzinikela
Ukudibanisa okuhlukeneyo kwezi zinto zintathu kubangela iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zothando. Umzekelo, ukudibanisa ubudlelwane obusondeleyo kunye nokuzibophelela kwintando ehambelanayo, ngelixa udibanisa uthando kunye nobudlelwane obusondeleyo kubangela uthando lobubele.
Ngokutsho kwe-Sternberg, ubudlelwane obakhelwe kwizinto ezimbini okanye ngaphezulu bunyamezela kunokuba kusekelwe kwicandelo elinye. I-Sternberg isebenzisa ixesha elide lokuthanda uthando ukuchaza ukudibanisa ubudlelwane obusondeleyo, inzondelelo kunye nokuzimisela. Nangona lolu hlobo luthando luqine kakhulu kwaye luhlala luhlala luhlala phambili, i-Sternberg ibonisa ukuba olu hlobo luthando alufaneki.
> Imithombo:
> Hatfield, E., & Rapson, RL Uthando, ubulili, kunye nolwalamano: Iingqondo zabo, i-biology kunye nembali. ENew York: HarperCollins; 1993.
> Lee, JA Imibala Yothando. ENew York: i-Hall-Hall; 1976.
> URubin, Z. "Ukulinganisa uthando lothando." Journal of Personality and Psychology, 1970, 16: 265-273.
> Sternberg, RJ Inxantathu yoLuthando: Ulwalamano, inxungulo, ukuzibophezela. ENew York: iiNcwadi eziSiseko; 1988.