Uthando olunemfesane luhluke nothando olunomdla
Isazi sengqondo se-Elaine Hatfield sichaze iintlobo ezimbini ezahlukeneyo zothando: inceba kwaye inomdla. Uthando olunemfesane luquka ukuvakalelwa, ukuzithemba, nokuthandana, kodwa uthando olunomdla luquka iimvakalelo ezinzulu kunye nokukhangwa kwezesondo.
Uthando Luthandekayo?
UHashfield uchaza uthando olunomdla njengoko:
Uthando olunzulu lokubambisana nomnye. Uthando olunomdla luyinkqubo epheleleyo esebenzayo kuquka i-appraisals okanye ukuxabisa, iimvakalelo ezizimeleyo, iintetho, iindlela eziphathekayo zokuphila, ukunyameka kwamanyathelo, kunye nokuziphatha kwezixhobo. ukuzaliseka kunye nokunyaniseka. Uthando olungathandekiyo (ukuhlukana) kunye nokungabi nantoni, ukuxhalaba okanye ukuphelelwa lithemba. "
Uthando Lwenene?
Uthando olunemfesane, olubizwa ngokuba ngumthandane onxulumene nalo, luphathelele kukuthandana, ukuthembela, ukuzinikela kunye nomsa. Ngobudlelwane bexesha elide, uthando oluvuthayo luye lugxininise ekuthandweni kothando xa unyaka omnye ukuya kwimibini.
Izinto ezichaphazela Uthando Olusondeleyo Novelwano
Ngokutsho kweHatfield, ezinye zezinto ezinxulumene nothando olunothando ziquka:
- Isikhathi: Ukuba 'ukulungele' ukuthandana nomnye umntu kubalulekile.
- Izitayela zokuqhotyoshela kwangaphambili: Abantu abaqhotyoshelwe ngokukhuselekileyo bathambekele ekuziphatheni okunzulu, ixesha elingapheliyo uthando ngelixa abo baxhamle ngokuxhalabisa bahlala bephuma ngaphandle kwothando.
- Ukufana: Hatfield noRacson inqaku lokuba sivame ukuba nomdla ngothando nabantu ababukeka bebukeka bebukeka bethandekayo, banomdla, kwaye bafana nathi.
Nangona uthando olunomdla lukhulu, ngokuqhelekileyo lukhawuleza kakhulu. Abaphandi baye bajonga indlela ubudlelwane obuqhubela phambili phakathi kwezibini ezitshatileyo, abasandul 'ukutshata, kunye nabatshatileyo ixesha elide kwaye bafumanisa ukuba nangona uthando olunomdla lukhulu kakhulu ekuqaleni kweentsebenziswano, luvame ukunika ithuba lokwenene uthando olusondeleyo ekuthandaneni nokuzinikela .
Uthando olusondeleyo lunokukhawuleza ukuphela, kodwa uthando luthando luhlala luhlala.
Uthando Luthandekayo
I-Hatfield kunye ne-Sprecher bahlakulele isiXhosa soMnxeba osisetyenzisiweyo esasetyenziswe emhlabeni jikelele nabantu bemihla. Ibuza imibuzo ngokusekelwe kwiinkalo zengqondo (yintoni na kaninzi ucinga ngayo malunga neqabane lakho), izixhobo zokuziphatha (indlela ozinikele ngayo kunye nento oyenzela omnye umntu), kunye nezixhobo zengqondo (indlela ozivakalelwa ngayo ngeqabane lakho).
Iingcamango Zokugqibela Ngothando Olusondeleyo Novelwano
Nangona uphando olwenziwe ngothando luye lwachuma kwiminyaka engama-20 edlulileyo, uphando olusasaHatfield kulesi sihloko alukho ngaphandle kwabagxekayo. Ngethuba lo-1970, uSenator William Proxmire wahlambalaza abaphandi ababefunda uthando baze bahlekisa umsebenzi njengenkunkuma yerhafu yabahlawuli berhafu. Omnye wavikela umsebenzi obalulekileyo kaHatfield kunye nabanye abaphandi, ngokuqaphela ukuba ukuba iingcali zeengqondo zikwazi ukuqonda iipatheni zothando lomntu, mhlawumbi ziyakwazi ukuqonda umtshato kwaye zahluleka ulwalamano.
Nangona le mpikiswano, umsebenzi owenziwe nguHatfield kunye noogxa bakhe bancedise kakhulu ukuqonda kwethu uthando kunye nophando oluphandle olongezelelweyo malunga nokukhangela, ukuxhamla kunye nobudlelwane phakathi kwabantu.
Imithombo:
> Hatfield, E., Bensman, L, Rapson, RL. (2012). Imbali emfutshane yezoNzululwazi zeNtlalo zemiSebenzi yokuPhakamisa uthando oluxhasayo. Umbhalo woBudlelwane beNtlalo noBuntu. 2012; 29 (2): 143-164. i-doi: 10.1177 / 0265407511431055.
Hatfield, E, Rapson, RL. Uthando no buhlobo. I-Encyclopedia yeMpilo Yengqondo, 2. iNew York: I-Press Press; 1994.
> Hatfield, E, Rapson, RL. Uthando, ubulili kunye nobudlelwane obusondeleyo: i-Psychology yabo, i-Biology kunye neMbali. ENew York: HarperCollins; 1993.
> Hatfield E., Uhlalutyi, S. Ukulinganisa Uthando oludityanisiweyo kubudlelwano obusondeleyo . Umbhalo we-Adolescence. 1986; 9: 383-410.