Ukugxeka ixhoba liyinto apho amaxhoba olwaphulo-mthetho okanye iintlekele aphendululwa kulokho okwenzeke kubo. Ukugxeka abaxhoba kuvumela abantu ukuba bakholelwe ukuba iziganeko ezinjalo azize zenzeke kubo. Ukusola ixhoba kuyaziwa ukuba kwenzeka kwiimeko zokudlwengulwa kunye nokuhlaselwa ngokwesondo, apho ixhoba lolwaphulo-mthetho lisoloko lityholwa ngokumema ukuhlaselwa ngenxa yokugqoka okanye ukuziphatha kwakhe.
Omnye Uyazi kakuhle umzekelo wokumangalela umntu ohlukileyo
Ngo-2003, intombazana eneminyaka eyi-14 ubudala okuthiwa nguElizabet Smart yaxoshwa kwigumbi layo lokulala eSalt Lake City, eUtah ngomkhwa. Wachitha iinyanga ezilisithoba ezithinjwa ngabathinjwa bakhe, uBrian Mitchell noWanda Barzee. Emva kokuhlangulwa kwakhe kunye neenkcukacha zexesha lakhe ekuthunjweni ziba zikarhulumente, abantu abaninzi bazibuza ukuba kungani engazange azame ukuphuma okanye abonise ukuba ngubani.
Ezi ntlobo zemibuzo, ngokudabukisayo, akuqhelekanga emva kokuba abantu beve ngesiganeko esibi. Kutheni, emva kolwaphulo-mthetho olubi kangaka, ukwenza abantu abaninzi kangaka kubonakala ngathi "bagxeke ixhoba" kwiimeko zabo?
Xa iingxelo zeendaba zifunyenwe ngumfazi obanjwe udlwengulo, imibuzo ephakamileyo kwizinto ayenxiwe yixhoba okanye ezenza oko "kunokubangela" ukuhlaselwa. Xa abantu bebanjwe, abanye bahlala bebuza ukuba yiyiphi na amaxhoba ayenayo ngokukhawuleza ebusuku okanye kutheni abazange bathathe amanyathelo amanyathelo okukhusela okwephulo-mthetho.
Ngoko yintoni ekhokelela kulo mkhuba wokumangalela umntu ochaphazelekayo?
Iimfanelo zethu zibambise ukuThambekela kwethu kwi-Victim-Blame
Esinye isingqondo sengqondo esibangela ukuba lo tyekelo lokubeka ityala kwixhoba liyaziwa njengeyona mpazamo ebalulekileyo.
Oku kuhambelana nokubandakanya iimpawu zabanye abantu kwizinto zangaphakathi, ezizimeleyo xa bebandezela izinto zangaphandle kunye neziguquko eziye zadlala indima.
Xa umfundi ofunda naye ephonsa uvavanyo, umzekelo, mhlawumbi ubonisa ukuziphatha kwabo kwiinkalo ezahlukeneyo zangaphakathi. Unakho ukukholelwa ukuba omnye umfundi akafundanga ngokukhawuleza, akakwazi ukuqonda ngokwaneleyo, okanye nje uvila nje.
Ukuba ngaba ungaphumeleli uvavanyo, kunjalo, ungayichaza ngantoni na ukusebenza kwakho kakubi? Kwiimeko ezininzi, abantu bagxeka ukungaphumeleli kwabo kwimithombo yangaphandle. Unokubhikisha ukuba igumbi litshisa kakhulu kwaye awukwazi ukugxila, okanye ukuba utitshala akazange abeke uvavanyo olufanelekileyo okanye afake imibuzo eninzi.
Ukujonga ingqalelo 20/20
Omnye umba obangela ukuba sibe netyala lokumangalela umntu olwa maxhoba owaziwa ngokuba yi-hindsight bias .
- Xa sijonge isiganeko esenzeke ngaphambili, sinomdla wokukholelwa ukuba sifanele sibone iimpawu kwaye siqikelele umphumo.
- Le ngcamango yenza ukuba kubonakale ngathi amaxhoba olwaphulo-mthetho, ingozi, okanye enye indlela yobubi kufuneka ukuba bakwazi ukuqikelela nokuthintela nayiphi na ingxaki.
Kwaye oku akuyona into eyenzekayo xa sibheka izinto ezifana nokudlwengulwa okanye ukuhlaselwa. Xa umntu egula, abantu bahlala befuna ukugxeka ukuziphatha okudlulileyo kwiimeko zangoku zempilo zomntu.
Cancer? Bamele bayeke ukutshaya. Isifo sentliziyo? Ewe, ndicinga ukuba bafanele basebenzise ngaphezulu. Ityhefu yokutya? Kufuneka ukuba wazi kakuhle kunokuba adle kule ndawo yokutyela entsha .
Iimeko ezinjalo zokusola zibonakala zibonisa ukuba abantu bafanele bazi nje okanye bazilindele ukuba izinto ezinjalo zize zenzeke ngokuziphatha kwabo, ngelixa inyaniso kwakungekho ndlela yokuchazela isiphumo.
Ubomi Akunjalo, Kodwa Sithanda Ukukholelwa Kuko
Ukuthambekela kwethu ukugxeka ixhoba kwakhona kubangelwa inxalenye kwisidingo sethu sokukholelwa ukuba ihlabathi lifanelekileyo kwaye lilungile. Xa kwenzeka into embi komnye umntu, sivame ukukholelwa ukuba kufuneka ukuba benze into yokuba bafanelwe le nto.
Iingqondo zengqondo zentlalo zibhekisela kulo mkhuba njengento yehlabathi .
Kutheni sivakalelwa ukuba le nto kufuneka sikholwe ukuba ihlabathi lilungile kwaye abantu bafumana oko bakufaneleyo?
Kungenxa yokuba ukuba sicinga ukuba ihlabathi ayilungile, kuya kubonakala ukuba kukho nabani na onokuhlaselwa yintlungu yentlekele. Ewe, nawe, abahlobo bakho, intsapho yakho kunye nabanye abathandekayo bakho. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba unobulumko nokuba unembeza kangakanani, izinto ezimbi zinokuthi zenzeke kubantu abalungileyo.
Kodwa ngokukholelwa ukuba ihlabathi lilungele, ngokukholelwa ukuba abantu bafanelwe oko bafumanayo, kwaye ngokugxeka ixhoba, abantu banakho ukukhusela ukuba izinto ezintle kangaka azize zenzeke kubo.
ILizwi
Kodwa izinto ezimbi ziyakwenzeka kwaye mhlawumbi ziya kwenzeka kuwe ngexesha elithile ebomini bakho. Ngoko ngeli xesha elizayo ufumana ukuzibuza into eyenziwa ngumnye umntu ukuzisa ingxaki yabo, thatha isikhashana ukuqwalasela izabelo zengqondo kunye neengxaki ezichaphazela isigwebo sakho. Esikhundleni sokugxeka ixhoba, zama ukubeka izicathulo zomntu kwaye mhlawumbi uzame uvelwano oluncinane .
> Imithombo:
> Niemi, uL. & Young, L. Nini na kutheni sibona amaxhoba njengexanduva: Impembelelo yeengcamango kwindlela yokujonga ngayo amaxhoba. Ubuntu kunye neNzululwazi yezeNzululwazi zeBlue. 2016; 42 (9): 1227-1242. i-doi: 10.1177 / 0146167216653933
> Stromwall, LA, Alfredsson, H, & Landstrom, S. Uhlukumezekileyo kunye nomenzi wobugwenxa kunye neengcamango zehlabathi ezilungileyo: Impembelelo yecala lobulili kunye nobudala. Umbhalo woKhuselo lwezesondo. 2013; 19 (2): 207-217. i-doi: 10.1080 / 13552600.2012.683455
> Van der Bruggen, M. Ukuhlaziywa kweencwadi ezinxulumene nexhoba lokudlwengulwa: Ukuhlalutya kwempembelelo yabamkeli kunye neempembelelo kwixhoba lokudlwengula. Ukuxhatshazwa nokuziphatha koBundlobongela. 2014; 19 (5): 523-531. I-doi: 10.1016 / j.avb.2014.07.008