Indlela yokusingatha omnye umntu onesimo soNxibelelwano olubuhlungu
Sonke sisebenzisana nobudlova ebuhlotsheni bethu kwinqanaba elinye okanye kwelinye, kungakhathaliseki ukuba ubugwenxa buyimpilo. Ukunyanyiswa yindlela yokunxibelelana nokuziphatha apho umntu ebonisa iimvakalelo, iimfuno kunye namalungelo ngaphandle kokuhlonela okanye ukuhlonela iimfuno, amalungelo kunye neemvakalelo zabanye. Le ndlela yokunxibelelana iyakuthandwa ngabadliki kunye nabaxhatshazwayo, kodwa ingaboniswa kwingxoxo naphi na, ukusuka eofisini ukuya kwigumbi lokulala.
Xa kusetshenziselwa unxibelelwano oludlwengulo, amandla asemoyeni aqhelekileyo asetyenziswa ukuze amalungelo abanye avumeleke ukuba afikelele. Xa kwenzeka, abanye baziva bexhatshazwa kwaye ubudlelwane bubuhlungu. Ngaloo ndlela, ubudlelwane obunobundlobongela bubi kubaxhasi kunye nabamkeli bobudlova.
Uluhlu lweNxibelelwano oluxhatshazayo
Imilinganiselo yokuba ubudlelwane obundulanayo kuthatha uxinzelelo kunokusithintela ngeendlela ezininzi. Iyakuchukumisa amanqanaba ethu oxinzelelo, kwaye inokuchaphazela impilo yethu nolonwabo. (Jonga eli nqaku malunga neengxabano zokungazi ngakumbi malunga nefuthe elibi lentshukumo.)
Ngenxa yokungabikho koxhamano lwangempela kwezobudlelwane babo, abantu abanomdla bavame ukubangela abanye uxinzelelo kunye namava okwandisa uxinzelelo, njengoko ubudlelwane babo buba neengxabano kunye neenjongo zabo ezingagqibekanga. Isixhobo esinamandla esinokubasebenzisa ebusweni boqhagamshelwano olunobundlobongela.
Ukuqinisekiswa ngokuqhelekileyo kusetyenziswa njengegama eliqhelekileyo lokunxibelelana okunamandla kodwa, ngokuchasene nobudlova, ukuqinisekiswa kubandakanya ukuvakalisa iimfuno kunye namalungelo xa uhlonipha iimfuno namalungelo abanye kunye nokugcina isithunzi samabini omabini. Oku kubangela ubudlelwane obuhle kunye nokwaneliseka kobomi.
Yaye ngoxa iindlela zokunxibelelana azikho ndlela kuphela zokubandezela ezinokubakho ubudlelwane, abo bazama ukutshintsha iindlela zabo zokunxibelelana ezinobundlobongela kubambele ukuvakala kwezinye izinto.
Izinzuzo zoNxibelelwano oluPheleleyo
Ukufunda malunga neendlela zokunxibelelana kunokunceda ngeendlela ezimbalwa. Amasu oqhagamshelwano olusisigxina angasenza sibe nemida enempilo kwabanye ukuze sibe nomgca wokukhusela naluphi na uxhaphalo abalubonisayo. Ezi zixhobo zoqhagamshelwano ezinempilo zingasinceda ukuba sigweme ukuhlaselwa ngabanye, kwaye kunokukunceda ukuphepha ingxabano. Zomibini zeziphumo ezilungileyo zenza ukuba kulungele umzamo wokufunda malunga nobuchule bokunxibelelana.
NoNxibelelwano oluSetyenziswayo
Ukuxhaswa kuthetha ukuvakalisa iimfuno zakho ngelixa uphulaphule kwaye uhlonipha iimfuno zabanye. Kuthetha ukukhangela izisombululo zokuphumelela kunokuphumelela. Kuthetha ukuvakalisa iimvakalelo zakho ngendlela ezolileyo kwaye uchaze isizathu sokuba uzive ngale ndlela, kwaye ucele oko ungathanda kunokuba ulindele ukuba abanye bacinge. Kwakhona kuthetha ukuphulaphula kakuhle nokuzama ukungaqondi kuphela iimfuno zabanye, kodwa ukuthetha nabo ukuba uyaziqonda.
Uhlobo loNxibelelwano lwakho
Uyazi ntoni ngesitayela sakho soqhagamshelwano? Ngaba ulungele ulwaphulo, ukunyaniseka, okanye ukungabi namdla? Nazi ezinye ze mibuzo ongazibuza yona:
- Ngaba ndifuna ezinye iimbono zabantu, okanye ndabelana nje ngokwam?
- Ngaba ndiyakhathazeka xa abanye bengavumi nam?
- Ngaba ndithetha ngabantu okanye ndiphazamise rhoqo?
- Ingaba ndihlola ukungena nabantu ukuze ndibone ukuba zikhululekile okanye ngaba ndiyinyanzele i-ajenda yam?
- Ngaba ndibeka abantu phantsi?
- Ngaba ndiyazi indlela yokuzimela?
- Ngaba ndiyazi ukuba ndingavumelani ngaphandle kokungavumelani?
- Ngaba ndiyazi indlela yokufumana iimfuno zam ngaphandle kokuphula izidingo zabanye?
Imibuzo engentla ingancedisa uqale ukucinga ukuba ukhululekile ukuzimela, ukhululekile ukuhamba ngaphaya kwabanye, okanye mhlawumbi ufumene umhlaba okhululekile. Ukuba awuqinisekanga, funda kwaye ubone ukuba unetyala leyiphi na yale mpazamo yokulungisa izimpikiswano eziqhelekileyo . Ungakwazi nokufunda okungakumbi malunga neendlela zokunxibelelana ezisemgangathweni ongazisebenzisa kunye nabantu abaninzi ebomini bakho - bona ukuba zininzi zezi zinto sele usebenzise.
Ukufumana ulwazi oluninzi malunga noxinzelelo kunye nezibonelelo ekukuncedeni ukuyilawula kunokukunceda ukuba wakhe imikhuba enokukunceda ukuba ujamelane noxinzelelo xa uphendule uxinzelelo lwakho. Unokufumana okunye kum nge-Facebook, Twitter, kunye nePinterest, kwaye kwincwadi yam, 8 Izixhobo zokuLawula uxinzelelo .
Imithombo:
Harburg, E .; Kaciroti, N; Gleiberman, L .; Schork, MA; UJulius, uM. Marital Pair Intukuthelo Yokubamba Iintlobo Unokuthi wenze njengeCandelo elichaphazela ukufa: Ukufundwa kwangaphambili kwiSifundo esiPhambili. Umbhalo woNxibelelwano loLuntu, ngoJanuwari 2008.
Newsom JT, Mahan TL, Rook KS, Krause N.Stable Negative Social Exchanges kunye neMpilo. I-Psychology yezeMpilo, ngoJanuwari 2008.
I-Panksepp J. Neuroscience. Ukuva intlungu yentlupheko yentlalo .. Isayensi, Oktobha 2003.