Ngaba Ukholo Oluncedo Kunene Kunenzuzo?
Amaxesha angama-Pessimists akulungele kangcono amaxesha amanzima. Ukuba unengxaki, ungabona kwangaphambili izithintelo, ulindele ukuba izinto zihambe kakuhle, mhlawumbi uceba ubunzima ngokulula. Iipassimists ziyakwazi ukwakhiwa kweenqabiseko zokhuseleko, kwaye iindwendwe azifumani iimpembelelo zabo zehlabathi ziza kubuzwa xa izinto zihamba kakuhle; sele belindele ukuba kwenzeke!
Ngoko kutheni ndingacebisa ukuba abantu babe ziingxaki?
Iinzuzo zoBuchule
Uphando lwezenzululwazi kwintsimi ye- Psychology enobulungisa lusitshela ukuba ithemba lifumana iingenelo ezininzi kwiimbono zabo zehlabathi ukuba kunokuba lufanelekile ukudityaniswa kwabo bangabhekana nazo kwiintsilelo: iinjongo zithemba ukuba ziphilile, zinovuyo, ziphumelele kakhulu (ngokwezimali, kuluntu kunye ngezinye iindlela ezininzi), kwaye ujabulele ubudlelwane obomeleleyo nolwanelisayo. Ukuba oku kuvezwa ukuba ithemba lihamba ngcono kummandla wonke wobomi, kungenxa yokuba yinyaniso. (Funda ngaphezulu malunga neenzuzo zokuba nethemba .)
Ukwahlukana phakathi kobuchule kunye namaPassimists
Okwangokunje, ithemba lizwakala lihle kakhulu, kwaye likhoyo. Kodwa ngaphambi kokuba ndiqhube phambili, ndifuna ukucacisa umahluko phakathi kwesigxina kunye nesigxina: konke kuhambelana nesitayela esichazayo okanye indlela abantu bathetha ngayo into eyenzekayo ebomini babo. Umxhasi uya kuthatha iziganeko ezilungileyo kwaye azikhulise, ngelixa ekunciphiseni iimeko ezimbi kwiimeko; inkxalabo iya kwenza okungafaniyo kwaye ihlase iimeko ezilungileyo ngeli xesha lijolise kakhulu kumbi.
(Kukho indlela ethile eyenzeka ngayo; funda ngokubanzi malunga nento malunga neempawu zethemba .) Oku kubalulekile ngenxa yokuthambekisa ukunciphisa umonakalo-enye yeempawu ezikhuthaza abantu abanethemba lokuphupha elikhulu kwaye baqiniseke ukuba baqhubeke ukuzama nangona emva kokuba bajamelane nokuchaswa-nako kunokuvelisa ingqiqo yecandelo lokhuseleko elingabangela ukuba ithemba likwazi ukukhulelwa iingxaki ezinokwenzeka kwaye zicwangcise.
Kungabakhokelela ukuba bazive bathushe xa izinto zingahambi.
Nangona kunjalo, ezi zimbonakalo-ukunciphisa ukungalunganga kunye nokwandisa i-positive-kunokunceda umntu othembekileyo ngexesha elibuhlungu elinokuthi athumele ingxaki ekumnyama, kwindawo engenakunceda. Nangona izinto zibonakala zihlukana, ithemba liza kufuna izisombululo ezintsha kunokuhlala kwiingxaki; baya kuba nethemba lokuba bafikelele kwixesha elinzima, kwaye bathemba ukuba baya kuphuma ngaphesheya kwanele ngokwaneleyo; baya kuba neendlela zokuguqula imeko engalunganga ibe yinto enhle. Ngako oko, abantu abanokuxhalabisa abanokungamangalisa xa kwenzeka iintlekele, kodwa izithemba azihlali kwiimeko ezimbi ngokude; bafumana indlela yokuzibamba.
Hlalani Nengqiqo Nangona Nilungele
Ngoko unokuhlala njani unethemba ngaphandle kokulahlekelwa ngamathuba okuzigcina uzilungiselele iingxaki? Nantsi into endiyincomayo:
- Ithemba lezona zinto zilungileyo, kunye nesicwangciso esibi kakhulu.
Oku kukuvumela ukuba ube neenzuzo ezininzi zokuzithemba ngaphandle kokushiya usengozini kwaye ungakulungele. Njengengxaki yokucinga ingcinga malunga nezinto ezinokungaphumeleli, kwaye uzame ukufumana izicwangciso zangaphambili kunye neendlela zokujongana nokungalindelekanga. (Oku kunokukunceda uzive ulungelele ngakumbi xa izinto ziphendulela kwisicatshulwa esinqwenelekayo, kwaye kunokukunceda ukhumbule ukuba iindlela ezahlukeneyo zisasebenza.)
- Khumbula oko kubalulekile.
Yilungele oko unakho, kwaye ukhumbuze nokuba uninzi kunako unakho; unamandla okuzimela ezizinto zobomi bakho obukunika amandla. Unokufuna ukuthatha ixesha, ngezikhathi ezithile, ukuthabatha izixhobo zamandla kunye nezibonelelo zakho. Ukuxinezeleka kubangelwa xa siziva ukuba iimfuno zengxaki zidlula izixhobo zethu zokusingatha; Ukugcina engqondweni ukuba izibonelelo zakho zinokunciphisa uxinzelelo kwaye kukunceda uzive unamandla xa uhamba ubomi. Oku kunokunceda xa ujamelene neengxaki. - Hlakulela ukubulela.
Yibulela into onayo, ngaphandle kokuba unamathele kuyo ukuba awukwazi ukucinga ubomi bakho ngaphandle kwayo. Le yinto ekhohlisayo, kwaye isebenza, kodwa ekugqibeleni inokwenziwa kwaye iinjongo ezifanelekileyo. Izenzo zokucamngca nokucamngca ziye zabanceda abaninzi kulo mbandela.
- Lindela okungalindelekanga.
Ukuba izinto azihambanga ngokucwangcisa, akuthethi ukuba oku kukuphela kwebali. Kukho izipho kuzo zonke iimeko, kwanokuthi asikulindele. - Khumbula ukuba nayiphi na into oyibonayo iya kudlula.
Enye into yokuba uphando lwePhysical Psychology luye lwasifundisa kukuba ukuphazamiseka okukhulu akubangela ukuba abantu bazive bengenakuvuyela xa nje abantu bexela. Emva kweeveki ezimbalwa okanye, kwezinye iimeko, iinyanga, abantu abaye babhekana neengxaki ezinkulu ngokuphindaphindiweyo babuyela kwinqanaba lexesha eliqhelekileyo lonwabo (okanye ukungonwabi). Abanomdla bavame ukuziva benwabile ngokubanzi, kwaye abantu abanengxaki yokuzilahla bavakala ukuba banolonwabo ngakumbi kunoko, kodwa ukuba unesifo sokungathembeki, kusoloko kunokwenzeka ukuba ube 'ufundela ithemba'. Ngamanye amaxesha ukunyamezela ingxaki kukunika iinjongo ezifanelekileyo zokukwenza oko. (Funda le nqaku ngezinye iinkcukacha malunga nendlela yokuba nethemba .) - Yixabisa into enayo, kwimeko apho.
Nangona ulahlekelwe kakhulu, kusekho izinto oza kuzixabisa. Uphando lubonisa ukuba, ngaphandle kwale ntlupheko, abantu abanemali eninzi ngokubanzi abahlali benovuyo kunabantu abancinci; abaphumelele i-lottery, nangona, abavuyo ngakumbi kunabo balahlekelwe yimilenze yabo, emva kweenyanga ezimbalwa. Kodwa abo banomhlobo obusondeleyo, abo bavakalelwa kukuba banombulelo , kunye nabo banengqondo ebomini ebomini. Gxininisa oko usenayo, kwaye uya kuziva ukuba unento efanelekileyo ngokwenene ebomini bakho.
Imithombo:
Peterson, C. I-primer kwi-psychological positive. ENew York: i-Oxford University Press, Inc., 2006.
I-Seligman, MEP Inenelo enobulungisa: Ukusebenzisa i-psychology entsha enokuqonda ukukwazi ukuzaliseka kwakho. INew York: I-Free Press, ngo-2002.