Xa umzali womzukulu asebenzisa kakubi iziyobisi okanye utywala, oogogo nomkhulu bafakwa kwisimo esibi. Ngokuqinisekileyo, ukhulu lootatomkhulu bokuqala ukuzama ukulungisa izinto, kodwa ukusetyenziswa kakubi kweziyobisi kungabangela ingxaki engathintekiyo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ootatomkhulu kufuneka bahlale benokwenza konke okusemandleni abo kubazukulu babo, kodwa nokuba loo ndlela yezenzo inobungozi.
Ngaba ukusetyenziswa kakubi kweziyobisi kubandakanya ukuxhaphazwa kwabantwana?
Ootatomkhulu othanda abazukulu babo bacinga ukuba bafanelwe ngabazali abanomlutha, kwaye oku kunjalo.
Bonke abantwana bafanelwe ngabazali abaye bahlala khona. Abazali abaphelelanga, nangona kunjalo, banokujamelana nemibandela eyahlukeneyo. Ngaphandle kokuba umntwana akhatywe okanye akahoywa, isilwanyana somzali okanye ukusetyenziswa kakubi kotywala akunakwenzeka ukuba afaneleke ukuxhaphazwa kwabantwana. Oku kunokwenzeka ukuba kunyanisekileyo xa kukho omnye umzali kwintsapho eqinisekisa ukuba abantwana banokunyamekela okanye xa ukusetyenziswa kakubi kweziyobisi kakubi xa ulawulwa ngabantwana.
Amanyathelo ayisisiseko kubaNogogo nomkhulu
Amanye amanyathelo ootatomkhulu abanokuyithatha ayabonakala. Banokuqiniseka ukuba abazukulwana bayazi ukuba banabantu ebomini babo ababathandayo kwaye baya kubona ukuba bayanyamekelwa. Bangakwazi ukukhulisa ulwalamano lwabo nabazukulu babo ukuze ukuba bafanele bathathe ukunakekelwa kwabo, abantwana abanakuvakalelwa kukuba baphendukela kubantu abangabazi. Baya kwenza amathuba obazukulu ukuba babe kunye nosapho olude, ukuba bazi okazikazi, oomama kunye nabazala.
Lawo malungu entsapho ahlala ehamba ngexesha leentsapho.
Oko Akufanele Uyenze
Ukucacisa iimpazamo zomzali akunakuvelisa. Kwabantwana abaziyo ukuba umzali unengxaki yokusetyenziswa kakubi kweziyobisi ukufuna ukukholelwa okulungileyo ngomzali wakhe. Ukuva ootatomkhulu ngokuchasa umzali kungabangela iingxaki kwi-parent-grandchild relationship.
Ukongezelela, abazali banokukhawuleza ukunqumla ootatomkhulu ovezwayo njengabasebenza nabo. Into ebaluleke kakhulu ukuba ootatomkhulu kufuneka bayenze ukugcina udibaniso nabazukulwana.
Ngamanye amaxesha oogogo noomkhulu banzima ukuhlala bezolile, banomuvo wokuba bafanele ukuma xa abazali bebandakanya ukuziphatha okungenangqiqo nokulimaza. Ukwenza ngenye indlela uzizwa unobungozi kwaye ungalunganga. Ukuthetha malunga nesidakamizwa somntu okanye utshwala ngokungaqhelekanga utshintshe nantoni na, nangona kunjalo. Ukuba kwakungelula oko! Yaye ukuhlala ngokuthula akuyikuvuma ukuziphatha kwabo.
Nangona abazukulu bekhupha isihloko, nangona kunjalo, ootatomkhulu bangazama ukusebenzisa ithuba lokuxoxa ngeengozi zokusetyenziswa kweziyobisi ngendlela efanelekileyo. Kungcono, ke, ukuyeka ukubeka ityala.
Iimiphumo zoThatshuzo lweMpilo kwiBomi bemihla ngemihla
Ukusetyenziswa kakubi kweziyobisi kumzali kunokuba nefuthe elibanzi kwiintsapho. Ngokuqhelekileyo, kukho imiphumo yezoqoqosho, njengoko umzali onomlutha unokuba nobunzima obambe umsebenzi okanye angaphuthelwa umsebenzi. Ngamanye amaxesha abantwana banikelwa ngononophelo olusisiseko, kodwa abanakufumana uncedo ngemisebenzi yasekhaya, imizila yezempilo, ukulungiswa okanye ezinye izinto ezingabalulekanga kodwa ezibalulekileyo.
Kwimeko yezoqoqosho, ootatomkhulu bafakwa kwiimeko ezingabikho.
Ukuba bahamba ngokukhawuleza kunye noononophelo lwezoqoqosho, banokubangela umkhwa womzali ngokwenza kube lula ukuba bachithe imali ethe xaxa kotywala okanye iziyobisi. Iimpazamo eziqhelekileyo zemali abanokuthi oobazali kunye nabazali abadala banokuba nefuthe elikhulu xa ukusetyenziswa kakubi kweziyobisi kusemfanekisweni. Ngokuqhelekileyo, kusenokuba kuhle ukuba ootatomkhulu bayabalalisa abazali kuphela xa bengenzi njalo kuya kuba nefuthe ngqo kunye nabazukulu.
Imida yeMida
Nangona abazali bexhatshazwa kakubi, bahlala bebona njengabazali abanothando kwaye bafuna ukuzalisa indima yabazali.
Ngaloo ndlela, kubalulekile ukuba oomkhulu nootata bangawudluli imida. Omkhulu ozala oyikayo ukuba akukho mali yeempahla zesikolo, umzekelo, unokunikela ukuba athathe abazukulwana abazithengayo kwaye banokubandakanya umzali kwi-excursion. Esi sisisombululo esingcono kakhulu kunokuba uthenge iimpahla kubantwana ngaphandle kokubuza abazali okanye ukuvumela ukuba babe negalelo.
Impembelelo Yemoya
Abantwana abazali babo abasebenzisa kakubi iziyobisi okanye utywala banokuchaphazeleka ngeemeko ezahlukeneyo. Ezi ziquka:
- Ukunyaniseka: Abantwana bathanda abazali babo, nangona bangayithandi indlela yokusela utywala okanye iziyobisi ezibenza baziphathe ngayo.
- Ukudideka: Abantwana bokuxhaphaza izidakamizwa abazange bazi ukuba balindele ntoni, kuba abazange bazi ukuba umzali uya kuba ngaphantsi kweempembelelo.
- Ukungabikho kweTrust: Ngenxa yokuba abadakwa kunye nabaxhaphazi beziyobisi badla ngokuthembisa kwaye bahluleka ukuhambisa, ngamanye amaxesha abantwana bayakhula beziva ukuba abanakho ukuthemba umntu.
- Ukuthotywa: Abaxhaphazi bezithuthi badla ngokusola ukuziphatha kwabo kwamanye amalungu entsapho. Kungokwemvelo ukuba abantwana bazibuze ukuba baphosakele, nangona bengabizwa ngegama.
- Iintloni: Kungenxa yokuba kuyimvelo ukuchonga ngamalungu entsapho, abantwana bangathatha ihlazo lokulinda kwabo.
- Ukukhathazeka : Xa abantwana befikelela kwiminyaka ethile, bayaqonda ukuba ukusetyenziswa kakubi kweziyobisi kunemiphumo, kubandakanywa izingozi kunye ne-run-ins kunye nomthetho. Basenokukhathazeka ukuba umzali wabo uya kuvalelwa okanye afe. Bayazi nokuba ngamanye amaxesha abahlukumezi balahlekelwa ngamalungelo abo, kwaye banokukhathazeka ngokulahlekelwa yintsapho yabo.
Kakade ke, iinqanaba libonisa ukuba abantwana beziyobisi basezidakamizweni banakho ukufumana iingxaki ezinjalo ngokwabo. Sekunjalo, uninzi lwaloo bantwana alupheli njengabaxhaphazi beziyobisi, kwaye ubukho bootatomkhulu abanothando banokusebenza ngokumalunga nokuphindaphinda komjikelezo.
Iimpembelelo zeNtlalo-zeNtlalo
Ukusetyenziswa kakubi kweziyobisi kwintsapho kuchaphazela nokusebenza kwengqondo kunye nentlalo yomntwana. Abantwana bazivakalelwa ngephutha okanye bazive ukuba kufuneka bazame ukulungisa izinto. Xa abantwana besabela ngale ndlela, bahlala becinga uxinzelelo oluninzi. Bangavakalelwa kukuba kufuneka bafezeke ngeendlela zonke. Ootatomkhulu nabo banokukunceda ngokuthatha nayiphi na ithuba lokubonisa ukuba le nto ayilona iphoso kunye nokuba abanalo amandla okulungisa. Bayakhuthaza abazukulwana babo ukuba benze okusemandleni abo kodwa bavumele ukuba bazi ukuba kulungile ukuhlaziya ngezikhathi ezithile.
Ngamanye amaxesha, abantwana abangaphangeliyo okanye abaphumelelayo. Le ngxaki elukhuni ngakumbi koogogo nomkhulu ukuphatha. Bayazama ukuvala ubunzima bezemfundo. Zininzi iindlela ootatomkhulu abanokukwazi ukuxhasa abazukulwana babo esikolweni. Noko ke, umntwana okhathazekile ngokwenene, uya kufuna ukucebisa okanye unyango. Oogogo noomama banokubakho abazali ukuba bavumelane namanyathelo afanelekileyo xa bengabambeleli ukuziphatha komntwana kumsebenzi wokusetyenziswa kakubi kweziyobisi.
Abantwana abazali babo abasebenzisa kakubi utywala okanye iziyobisi bahlala bexhala ukuzisa abahlobo ekhaya. Ukungazithembi kunokuchaphazela uphuhliso lwabo loluntu. Ootatomkhulu nabo banokukunceda ngamanye amaxesha kubandakanye nabahlobo babo abazukulu ekuphumeni nasekutyeleleni. Lo ngumkhuba omele ukwenziwa ekuqaleni, nangona kunjalo. Ukuba ootata-ntombi ababandakanyi abahlobo xa abazukulwana babo beselula, akunakwenzeka ukuba basebenze xa bezama ukuquka abahlobo babo nabazukulwana abaselula. Ewe, ootatomkhulu abaninzi banokukhetha ukuba bazuze bonke abazukulwana babo kunokuba babelane ngexesha kunye nabahlobo babo. Sekunjalo, yintoni efanelekileyo ukuba abazukulu bafanele ukuba ngabalawulayo.
Kwimeko yokuxhatshazwa okanye ukunganakwa
Nangona ukusetyenziswa kakubi kwezidakamizwa kumzali akuzenzeki ngokufanelekileyo ukuxhaphazwa kwabantwana, ukuphathwa kakubi kungenzeka xa umzali ephantsi kwefuthe. Abantwana banokuthi banganakwa, ngokuqhelekileyo bachazwa njengokwehluleka ukubonelela ukutya, izambatho, indawo yokuhlala okanye unyango. Ukungahoywa kunokwenzeka xa abazali behluleka ukukhusela abantwana abasengozini.
Ootatomkhulu owaziyo ukuba abazukulu baxhatshazwa okanye bahoywa bavunyelwe ngokomthetho nangokwemigaqo ukuba baxelele imeko, nokuba ngaba ngumntakwabo onomdla. Ngamanye amaxesha, nangona kunjalo, ootatomkhulu abanokuqinisekiswa ukuba ngaba imeko iyakulungele ukusetyenziswa kakubi okanye ukunyanzelwa. Wonke urhulumente unomnxeba wokusetyenziswa kakubi, kwaye abo bantu abaneefowuni zeefowuni banakho ukunikela ngokucacisa. Ngamanye amaxesha iingxelo zingenziwa kwi-intanethi.
Nangona iingxelo zingenziwa ngokungaziwa, kulungile xa abafowni banikela ngamagama abo kunye nolwazi lokudibanisa ukwenzela ukuba banokufunwa ngolwazi olungaphezulu okanye ukuqinisekiswa. Ubuni bokuba umntu angagcinwa ngasese.
Kwimeko apho abantwana kufuneka basuswe ekhaya, uninzi nootata baya kufuna ukudibana nabo ukuze banokubandakanyeka kwizigqibo zokunyamekela. Enyanisweni, isenzo sika-2008 siqinisekisa ukuba ootatomkhulu banalo. Uninzi lootata-nkulu kule meko iphetha ngokukhulisa abazukulu, nokuba ngabazali abasemthethweni okanye abaxhasiweyo.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, ootatomkhulu nabavakalisi abaxela uxhatshazo babeka umngcipheko wokunqunyulwa kwabazukulwana, ngakumbi ukuba i-arhente inquma ukuba abantwana abasengozini. Nangona ingxelo ingabonakali okanye iyimfihlo, abazali banokuchaneka ngokuchanekileyo ukuba ngubani unobhala. Kananjalo, ngamanye amaxesha abazali bayeka ukudibanisa nawaphi na amaqela angaphandle. Basenokuthi batyekele ukuphepha ukudibanisa neenkonzo zokukhusela. Sekunjalo, ukuba ngabazukulwana basemngciphekweni, ootatomkhulu abanakho ukukhetha.
Ootatomkhulu noNyango
Xa abazukulu behlala kwimeko embi, oogogo nomkhulu bayahlupheka. Xa abazukulu behlala kunye nomxhaphazi weziyobisi, ootatomkhulu banokuvakalelwa kukuba iphoso labo. Ukuba umxhaphazi ngumntwana wabo, banokuziva bexanduva ngandlela-thile. Ukuba umxhaphazi ungumlingane, banokuvakalelwa kukuba kufuneka bachasene nolwalamano.
Inyaniso kukuba abantu banembopheleleko zabo kwizigqibo. Isibini-ukuqagela zonke izigqibo ezenziwe njengomzali azivelisi kwaye ziza kubangela iingxaki ezongezelelweyo.
Esinye sezicwangciso ezilungileyo kakhulu kubazali nomkhulu ophethe umxhaphazi kwintsapho kukuba baphile ubomi obuhle kakhulu. Ngokuzikhathalela ngokwasemzimbeni nangokomzwelo, ootatomkhulu baya kunika abazukulu babo abathathu. Baya kubonisa ukuba ubomi bugcwele amathuba. Baya kuba nemvelo kunye neemeko zokukwazi ukunika abazukulu babo indawo ephephile xa kuyimfuneko.