Iikhowudi ezili-12 ze-AA ne-Al-Anon
Kwamaqela angama-12 amanyathelo, akukho nto inje igunya. Akukho lungu elinye "elilawulayo" okanye "ulawulo" lwezenzo zamanye amalungu eqela.
I-Tradition 2. Injongo yethu yeqela kukho igunya elilodwa eliphezulu-uThixo onothando njengoko azinokuzibonakalisa ngokwakhe kwiqumrhu lethu. Iinkokeli zethu zikhoboka abathembekileyo; abalawuli.
Izigqibo zeqela ziphela, ezo zigqibo zeqela.
Emva kwengxoxo yazo zonke iinkalo zenkalo ethile, kubandakanywa nembono encinci , iqela livoti kulo mbandela kwaye isivumelwano si fi kelelwa ngevoti ininzi. Levoti ibizwa ngokuba "neqhenqa leqela".
Iqela ngalinye libudlelwane babalingana. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba yintoni imvelaphi yelungu lomntu, imfundo, okanye ubuchule bobuchule, akukho lungu elinamandla "phezu kweqela". Ngale ndlela, intsebenziswano iyafikelela kubo bonke abaya kufuna ukuthuthuzelwa kwayo kwaye banikezela umoya wokuba "ngowakho" kuwo onke amalungu.
Kodwa kukho iinkokheli ...
Esi siko siye sachithwa ngamaxesha amaninzi njengoko "sinakho iinkokeli." Kodwa icacisa ngokucacileyo ukuba iqela ngalinye linalo iinkokheli zalo, abanalo igunya phezu kweqela lonke. Ukuba ngaba ngabameleli beqela kummandla okanye kwisithili, okanye unobhala okanye unondyebo, banikwe uxanduva lokukhonza iqela, bengenzi izigqibo kulo.
Amaqela ngokucacileyo anezinye "iinkokheli" nazo. Kukho abo, ngokubelana ngobulumko namandla abo ezintlanganisweni, abaye baqaphela ngokuqinileyo liqela "njengeenkokeli zomoya." Kukho loo malungu, asekelwe ngokusemgangathweni kwimigaqo kunye nezithethe zeprogram, iqela liphendukela xa kuvela imibuzo xa kubandakanywa ukuphulwa kwale migaqo kunye nezithethe.
Nabo ke iinkokheli, kodwa abalawuli.
Nazi iindwendwe zeendwendwe kule ndawo abaye babelane ngamava abo ngesithethe 2:
Intsingiselo Yokuba
Ngaphambi kokuba ndize e- Al-Anon andizange ndive ngathi "ndabakho" nakweliphi iqela. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba yiyiphi ikomiti, ibhodi labalawuli, ikomiti yolawulo, okanye nayiphi na iqela endingayilungu laso, ndandisoloko ndivakalelwa kukuba wonke umntu "ungowakhe", kodwa ndandwendwela ngandlela-thile-okanye ngandlela-thile.
Ukuhlawulela ukuzithoba kwam, ndidla ngokugqithisa. Ndandisoloko ndimele ndibe ngithengisa ityitikiti eninzi, ndiphakamisa imali eninzi, ndazithandela ixesha elininzi okanye nayiphi na into.
Le yindlela yam yokuzama ukufikelela kwindawo apho ubulungu bam kwiqela "bubulungisa." Ngoko ndiza kuziva ukuba ngokwenene ndiyinxalenye yeqela. Kodwa, ayizange isebenze.
Kwakuse-Al-Anon ukuba ndafunda ingcamango yokuba "intlanganiso" ayingeyena mntu, ngaphandle kwalawo abonakalisa kwaye athatha inxaxheba. Kwakungekho mntu "wagijima" izinto. Akukho mntu "ophetheyo." Iinkokeli zethu zazingabakhonzi abathembekileyo, abazange baziphathe.
Njengoko ndaqhubeka ndibuyela kwiintlanganiso ezahlukeneyo , ndafumanisa ukuba u-Al-Anon uthetha oko kwakuthethwa. Yonke intlanganiso endiye ndaya kuyo yayininzi "intlanganiso" yam njengoko kwakunjalo.
Kwathatha ixesha elide ukungena, kodwa ekugqibeleni ndafumana loo mvo yokuba ngumntu kwaye iqhubekele kwezinye iindawo zobomi bam. Ngoku ndiyazi ukuba nje ngokuba lilungu kwaye ndibonisa kwaye ndithatha inxaxheba, ndineyona nto inxalenye yeqela njengowona mdala kunabo bonke "i-old timer." Yaye iimbono zam zinikezelwa ngokucokisekileyo, kwaye ziyakwamkeleka, njengabantu nabani kwiingxoxo zeqela.
Wendy
Iqumrhu leQela eliyimfuneko
Kwakungomnye wale mihlangano ekhunjulwayo ngamanye amaxesha esinelungelo lokuba khona. E-Australia abantu abazithandanga ukuthetha kwiNxila engabonakaliyo, kodwa bayabizwa ngamagama okanye batyathwa ngusihlalo.
Iipasiphelo ezimbalwa ngokuthi nje "bayazichonga" kunye negama labo kunye nelokuba banxilisayo, kodwa abaninzi beza phambili baze bahambe ngokuhlanganyela.
Umntu osekusihlalo wayeyi-bloke ye-Aussie ebizwa ngokuba yindoda kuphela ukuthetha. Emva kwamadoda ambalwa okuqala athetha ukuba amabhinqa ayengenasiphelo emva kokuba abafana abambalwa bathetha, abanye bafazi bavuthiwe kakhulu, emva koko emva kweminye emininzi imfowuni, kubiza ngokukodwa.
Wavuka waza wamemeza esithi "Hayi! Nguwe, wena ngurube yesondo! Ngaba asibonakali? Usihlalo wethu wathi: "Khangela, ndihleli esihlalweni kwaye ndiza kubiza nabani na ukuba ndikhethile kwaye akunjalo ke ngoko uhlala phantsi kwaye uhloniphe intlanganiso!"
Uh, o! Akuyona into efanelekileyo ukuthetha kulo mntu wesifazane wesitrato owayedla ngokubuya! Ngengqumbo yakhe, wenza isalathiso kusihlalo ngokuzimisela ukubulala abantu! Abanye bavuya okanye baxakeka njenge-pandemonium.
Ixesha elidala lanyuka, liphakamisa izandla phezulu kwaye lathi "Iqhinga leqela, iqela lezela ..." njengengoma. Abanye abambalwa bathabatha ingoma kwaye ukuthutha okwethutyana kwawa.
"Inkolelo emibini ebhanini apho ibonisa ukuba ndilungu leli qela lingabiza umnqweno weNqununu yeliQela nanini na ndibiza enye ngoku!"
Eli bhinqa labuzwa: "Kucelwa uxelele ityala lakho sonke". Wenza. Uthe ukunyaniseka kwakudingeka ukuba iintetho zeentombi zisebenze kunye namadoda ade ahambe nawo onke amabhinqa ukuba adlule okanye athethe.
Indoda ehleliyo yacelwa ukuba ilandele ityala lakhe. Uthe wayenqume ukuba kwakukho amahlanu amadoda angaphezulu kwamagumbi kunabesifa ngoko wacinga ukuba kuya kuba kuhle ukubiza abantu besifazane enye yesihlanu yexesha.
Abanye bacelwa ukuba benze naziphi na ezinye izimvo. Kwakukho nabanye abafazi abancinci abaziva bencinane kunye nomhlobo omnye wusihlalo ovumelene naye. Umzuzu wokubonakalisa ucocekile wabizwa ukuba, ukucela amandla ethu aphezulu ukuba asikhokele ekuvoteni kwaye bonke babuzwa ukuba bavale amehlo abo ngaphandle kobhinqa elikhungathekileyo kunye nosihlalo onokubambisana ngokubala izandla eziphakanyisiweyo kwindlela nganye.
Inkqubo yesinye inkwenkwe yamantombazana "yinkwenkwana" yayibonakaliswa ngokugqithiseleyo kwaye sonke sahlala phantsi kwintlanganiso yesibini enhle.
Akusihlandlo yokuqala ndiyibonile "iqhinga leqela" elibizwa ngokuba ngethuba le ntla nganiso kodwa yinto ebalulekileyo kakhulu.
Aussie Chuck