Le ngcamango evela ku-Al-Anon kunokuba nzima ukuwamkela
Kubahlobo kunye nosapho lomntu othandekayo ojongene noxwala, utywala lunokuba ngumngeni onzima ukuqonda. Kwimeko yenkqubo ye-Al-Anon, i-detachment yembono yokuba intsapho kufuneka ivumele ingxaki yomntu oyithandayo ngotywala.
Ukuba uye wajongana nomntu otshatywayo otywala utywala kwaye uzame konke okusemandleni ukugcina imeko ikhula ngakumbi, kunokuba nzima ukucinga ukufumana ulonwabo xa uphuzo oluqhubekayo.
Ukunyaniseka kokuhlala nomntu othandekayo ngotywala kunokuthetha ukujongana neengxaki enye.
Kodwa abo bathatha inxaxheba kwi-Al-Anon ixesha elide ngokwaneleyo baya kuqonda ukuba i-detachment ibalulekile kwintlalontle yentsapho.
I-Detached Not Kind or Nor Unkind
Njengoko iincwadi ze-Al-Anon zithi, "inqaba ayikho inceba okanye ayibubele.Ayikho into ebonisa ukugwetywa okanye ukugwetywa komntu okanye imeko esicima kuyo. Ukusetyenziswa kotywala komnye umntu kunokuba nobomi bethu. "
Amaxesha amaninzi amalungu omndeni afumanisa ukuba sele abandakanyeka kakhulu nokuziphatha komntu othandekayo ngotywala. Uhlelo lwe-Al-Anon lusifundisa "ukubeka ingqwalasela kuthi" kwaye kungekhona kumntu onxilisayo okanye omnye umntu.
Ngokuzigxininisa ngokwakho, uzikhusela ekuziphatheni kakubi komntu wakho omthandayo kwaye unqande ukuvumela loo mpawu.
Yindlela yokuthabatha amanye amandla kumntu othandekayo ngotywala ukuze bangakwazi ukukusebenzisa.
Ngokufanelekileyo, ukukhusela kulo mntu kuya kubanceda babone indlela ukuziphatha kwabo okubi kuchaphazela ngayo bonke abantu ababajikelezile. Oko akusoloko kusisiphumo, kodwa njengokuba u-Al-Anon kunye noTywala abafundisayo, kubalulekile ukuba nobulumko ukwazi ukuhluka phakathi kwezinto onokuzenza kwaye akunako ukutshintsha.
Ngaba iDetchment iyanceda ngokwenene?
Ayikho into yokuba ucinga ngecandelo, unokukhathazeka malunga nento eyenzekayo kumntu wakho othandekayo emva kokuba uzibandakanye kubo. Mhlawumbi ucinga ukuba zonke ezi zinto uyenzile yonke le minyaka "ukunceda" ziya kuchitha. Ukukhathazeka kwakho kuyasebenza, kodwa kufuneka uzibeke kunye nosapho lwakho, ingakumbi ukuba loo ntsapho ibandakanya abantwana, kuqala.
Njengoko u-Al-Anon efundisa, "inkundla inceda iintsapho zijonge kwiimeko zazo ngokucacileyo nangengqiqo, ngaloo ndlela zenza izigqibo ezinengqiqo."
Amalungu e-Al-Anon afunda ukuba akukho mntu uxanduva lwesifo somntu okanye ukubuyisela kuyo.
Njengoko bathi kule nkqubo, "Kulula, kodwa akulula." Awunakuyenza yedwa. Kukho umhlangano we- Al-Anon Family Family kufuphi nalapho uza kufumana abantu abayaqonda ukuba uyintoni na. Ayikho indlela elula yokutshatyalaliswa kumntu othandekayo ngotywala. Kodwa ungazami ukuhamba wedwa. Ngokwabelana ngamava akho nabanye abaye belapho, unokufumana amandla kunye nethemba kwaye ujongene nale meko.