Ukungabikho koNxibelelwano kungalimaza ubudlelwane
Unxibelelwano yingxaki ebubudlelwaneni obuninzi, kodwa ukuba unengxaki yokuguquka komntu (BPD) , kunokuba nzima kakhulu. Kubonakala ngathi ukubonisa indlela ozizwa ngayo akunakwenzeka.
Unokufumanisa ukuba kungakhathaliseki ukuba uzama kangakanani, abahlobo kunye neentsapho abaziqondi. Ngokufanayo, unokuba nengxaki ekuqondeni apho abathandekayo bakho bevela khona.
Basenokukhungatheka ngenxa yokungakwazi kwakho ukuqonda kwaye banokucinga ukuba uye waphambukisa oko bakutshoyo. Oku kunokuba buhlungu kakhulu kubo bonke abachaphazelekayo; unakho konke unokuphelisa nokuphikisana nento engacaciswanga.
Njengomphumo wale nxu lumano , kubalulekile ukuba wena kunye nabathandekayo bakho ninalo:
- Ukuqonda kwiimvakalelo zakho kunye namava
- Umgaqo-jikelele uchaza ukuqonda
- Isigama esivamile
Ezi zixhobo ziya kukuvumela wena kunye nabo babomi bakho ukuba bathethe ngokufanelekileyo.
Umzekelo
UYoyce, onomntu ophethe i- BPD , ngokukhawuleza uziva umsindo wakhe kunye naye kwaye uqala ukumemeza aze ammangalele. Umyeni wakhe , uBruce, uvakalelwa kukuba le nto yaphuma ngaphandle kwaye ayikwazi into awayenzayo ukuyenza. U-Joyce uyancipha xa uBruce ekhusela, esilindele nje isi siqhelo. UBruce uzama ukuphuma egumbini kunye noYoyce ngokukhawuleza yenayika ukuba uyamthukuthelela.
Ingqumbo yakhe iya kubangela ukwesaba.
Ekugqibeleni, umsindo uyabonakala. Nangona izinto zikhuni, uBruce akazi into awayeyenzayo, kwaye uYoyce uxhaphazelekile kukuba uBruce uyamkhathaza. Akukho nto inokusombulula.
Kulo mzekelo, noYoyce noBruce abayiqondi ngokwenene into eyabangela isiqhelo. UJoyce wayengenakukwazi ukuthetha naye kwiimvakalelo zakhe eBruce ekubeni engazange aqonde ukuba yintoni ebangela ukuba abe nomsindo kwindawo yokuqala.
Emva kokuba uBruce azame ukuphuma egumbini, uJoyce wayeyika ukuba akayi kuphinda amkhathalele kwakhona. Ukungafuni kwakhe ukuthembela eBruce kwavutha umsindo . Ekugqibeleni, u-Joyce wayengenaso isigama sokuthetha naye iimvakalelo / ukwesaba kuBruce, ngokuqhubekayo kuluxakekisa isiqhelo kwaye ukwandisa ukukhungatheka kwakhe.
Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba abantu ebomini bakhe bafumane ingqiqo kwiimvakalelo kunye neemvakalelo zomntu one- BPD . Ukuba uBruce unokuqonda ngokubanzi ngendlela uYoyce acinga ngayo, uvakalelwa, kwaye uyayiphendula, unokukwazi ukulungeleka kangangoko ukulungisa umsindo wakhe ngendlela efanelekileyo yokuxhasa; ukumnceda ukuba abe nemvakalelo yangempela, kwaye ngoko ke kwisisombululo.
UkuLawula ukuThathelana
Ukuze kusebenze imiba engaxhamliyo kunye nokulawula imiba ye-BPD , ukungenelela kunye neyonyango kuyimfuneko. Ukuba awukho kakade, ugqirha ogqwesileyo kwi-BPD unokukunceda ukulawula ingxaki kwaye ufunde izakhono zoqhagamshelwano olusebenzayo. Ukongezelela, kunokunceda wena kunye nabathandekayo bakho ukuba niye kwiiseshoni zonyango kunye nokusebenzisana nemiba efanayo kunye nokungaqondani ukuphucula ulwalamano lwakho kunye nokwenza isigama esivamile.
Ngoxa uxhulumano phakathi kobudlelwano bobudlelwane obunxulumana nabo buya kubonakaliswa kakhulu ngenxa ye-BPD, ngokunyamezela nomsebenzi oqhubekayo, unokunxibelelana kakuhle kunye nokuphucula ubudlelwane bakho.
Umthombo:
U-Allen, D. "Ukuphendula ukuqhutyelwa kweeMida". I-Psychology Times , ngo-2013.