Ukuvuma Ukuzimela Kwakho Okuqinisekileyo Nokuvumela Ukuhamba Kwangaphambili
Ukwesaba ukutshatyalaliswa ngokuqinisekileyo kukuba yenye yezona zinto zixhaphake kakhulu. Ngamava enklinikhi yam, nantsi ezinye iindlela endingaziqonda ngayo lo mngeni mngeni.
Ukusuka Ekuvulekeni Ukuzivala
Njengabantwana abancinci, sivulekile kwaye sikhululekile, siwabelana nabanye nabanye. Njengoko sikhula kwaye sivuthiwe, kunjalo, sifunda ukuba ihlabathi linokuba yindawo ebuhlungu kakhulu.
Siyafunda ukuba akusiyo yonke into esecaleni lethu, kwaye kungekhona zonke iimeko eza kuhamba ngendlela yethu. Emva kwexesha, ngoko, sifunda nokuzikhusela . Sakha izindonga ezungeze iintliziyo zethu, siyaziqinisekisa ukuba asizange simthande loo mntu osisichukumisayo nangoko, kwaye senziwa ngobugcisa bokukhanyela. Okubi nakakhulu, siqala ukukholelwa nokugxila iingcamango neemvakalelo ezimbi malunga nathi. Njengoko sifuna iimpendulo ezibuhlungu ebomini, sihlala siqala ukukholelwa ukuba sinoxanduva lwabo.
Ukudlala ezimbini zombini: Ukuzikhusela ngokuziphatha kakubi
Nangona la ma nyathelo aqhelekileyo kwaye angokwemvelo, abuye awanqobe . Kubalulekile ukuba ufunde kwiimpazamo zangaphambili kwaye uhlale uzama ukukhula komntu. Nangona kunjalo, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba ufunde ukuxolela zakho ukuyeka. Ngaphi na ukukhawuleza ukuxolela impazamo yomnye umntu, okanye ukuziphatha okungalunganga, ngelixa uqhubeka uzibetha ngenxa yephutha oyenzile?
Ngokufanayo, ukwakha izindonga kudala indawo ekhuselekileyo apho ungakwazi ukubuyela ngokukhawuleza, kodwa ikhusela ukuhamba kwamandla kunye nothando kwimiba mibini. Kulula ukugqithwa emva kwezinto ozikhuselekileyo ngokomzimba, ongenakho ukunika okanye ukufumana iimvakalelo ezintle kunye nezibi. Oku, kushiya abantu abaninzi beziva bekhulile kwaye bodwa.
Ukongezelela, ukwesaba ukutshatyalaliswa kwisoloko kubangela ukuba abantu bangabangeli intlungu kwabanye. Abantu abanoloyiko badla ngokuba "bahamba," basebenzisa iindlela ezifanelekileyo zokugcina abanye bebude benkalo. Abanye baye bangcwatywa ngamabomu emsebenzini, esikolweni, nakweminye imisebenzi. Abanye bavele bapheleke kwindawo yokuqala ukuba ulwalamano luba lukhulu. Sekunjalo, abanye benza umdaniso ocacileyo wokutshiza kunye nokudonsa, ukudweba kwintsebenziswano engasetyenziswayo kuphela ukukhupha emoyeni xa omnye umntu esondela kakhulu, ngoko umdweba lowo mva ngokukhawuleza uphinde ubuyeke.
Ukusuka Ukukhusela Ukuzixolela
Ukwesaba ukutshatyalaliswa kukugqibela ukwesaba ukukhishwa okanye ukushiywa . Ulimele ngaphambili, ngoko ufuna ukunciphisa umngcipheko wokulimaza kwakhona. Nangona kunjalo, indlela engcono yokunciphisa umonakalo ongenakwenzeka kukuba kungekhona ukwakha izindonga okanye uzame ukwenza ngokulandelelanisa uluhlu oluthile lokuhlola. Endaweni yoko, isisombululo sinqabile-intuitive. Ukulwa nokutya kobuthathaka, kufuneka uqale ufunde ukuthanda nokwamkela yakho yonke, eyiyo.
Ukuthanda kwethu ngenye yezifundo ezinzima kakhulu esiza kujamelana nazo. Sonke sinesiphako, ukungapheleli, amabali ahlazo, kunye neempazamo ezidlulileyo esinqwenela ukuba sizibale.
Singaqinisekanga, sibuhlungu, kwaye sifuna kakhulu ukuba sitshintshe izinto ezithile. Ubuntu bendalo. Kodwa inkohliso kukubona ukuba wonke umntu uvakalelwa ngale ndlela. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba uphumelele kangakanani, indlela enhle ngayo, indlela umntu ogqwesileyo ebonakala ngayo, unako ukungahambi kakuhle, ukungaqiniseki, nokuzithemba.
Ukuvuma ukungapheleli
Cinga ngomntu onamandla kunazo zonke owaziyo, ohlala eyazi nje into athethayo okanye enokwenzayo, onobungqina obugqibeleleyo kwixesha elizeleyo kwaye unokufumana isigxina umntwana kunye nesikhwama ngexesha elimi esitratweni. Kuthekani ukuba uthethile into engathethiyo? Ngaba unokuba nesigxina?
Kuthekani ukuba loo mntu uphuthumele kuwe? Ngaba unokufumanisa ukuba akunakuxolelwa? Akunjalongo noko. Uyaqonda ukuba abanye abafezekanga, ukuba banemihla emihle kunye neentsuku ezimbi, ukuba banamaphutha kunye namabala angaboniyo kunye namaxesha obuthathaka. Kodwa akusikho into owakhumbula ngayo. Ukhumbula ukunqoba kwabo kunye nezikhathi ezikhanyayo kunye nothando kunye nokukhanya. Ngoko kutheni uziphathe ngokungafaniyo? Kutheni uzibetha ngenxa yezinto oza kuzixolela ngokukhawuleza kwabanye? Kutheni uzicingela ngokuzenzekelayo ukuba abanye baya kukugweba ngokugqithiseleyo kunokuba ubagwebe?
Indlela Ozithandayo
Ukuze ufunde ukuzithanda ngokwakho, qalisa ngokuzivuma njengabantu bonke, iimpazamo, ukungapheleli kunye nonke. Unayo kwaye uyamkela iimpazamo zakho zangaphambili, kodwa uqaphele ukuba abachazi lakho ngoku okanye lakho ikamva. Ukuxolisa kunoma ubani ovakalelwa kukuba uphosakele kakhulu, uze uqhubeke. Xolela. Ukuqhubekela phambili, zama ukuphila ngeenyaniso ezimbalwa ezilula:
- Ubalulekile: NjengoGeorge Bailey "kuBomi obumangalisayo," into elula yokuba ukhona ineempembelelo ezigqithiseleyo ngaphandle kokucinga. Ungeke ukwazi ukuba obani obathintele ubomi bakho, kwaye ziphi iziphumo, kodwa zikhona zonke ezifanayo.
- Yamukela Ubumnyama Bakho: Akunakwenzeka kuphela ukuba iimpazamo zakho zibe ngumntu, kodwa zinika ubuninzi bamava ukuba usebenzise xa unceda abanye . Ukusebenzisa lakho ixesha elidlulileyo ngenye yezindlela ezinamandla kakhulu ukudibanisa neyakho yonke.
- Yeka ukuzama ukubonakalisa ukubaluleka kwakho: Abantu, ingakumbi abo banesimo sobuthathaka, bahlala bezama ukubonisa indlela esinelungelo ngayo. Siyaxhalaba ukuba xa singenako ukufumana ukugcina kwethu, abantu bayayeka ukunyamekela. Ngokungaqhelekanga, sifumana ngokuthe ngqo into esiyibuzayo: umtya wabantu abanomdla kwizinto esinokukunika zona esikhundleni sokuba ngubani. Ukuze ujikeleze oku, yenza isipho esibalulekileyo kunabo bonke - kunokuba uzame ukuba zonke izinto kubo bonke abantu. Oko akuthethi ukuba umele ubenzele abanye ububele, kodwa wenze iminikelo esekweni kunothando okanye ukugweba.
Ukuxhatshaza Ukwesaba Ukuxhatshazwa
Njengoko ufunda ngokwenene ukwamkela nokuzithandayo, uzakufumana kulula kwaye kulula ukubonisa ubungozi bokwenyaniso. Ukuba uvakalelo lwakho luyomelele, ngoko awuyi kuphinda ufune abanye ukuba bayichaze okanye baxhomekeke kuwe. Uya kuba nako ukuhamba kude nalabo abaphatha kakubi kwaye bathande abo baphatha kakuhle.
Nangona kunjalo, ukusukela apha ukuya kubakho lula. Uncedo oluphinda rhoqo lufunekayo, ngokukodwa xa ukwesaba kwakho kuhleli kwaye kuhlala ixesha elide. Abantu abaninzi bafuna isiluleko sengcali yezempilo yengqondo , xa abanye befumana induduzo ngokomoya. Naliphi na indlela oyikhethayo, ukufumana inkululeko kwesoyiko lokutshatyalaliswa kwimeko eguqulela ubomi.
Umthombo:
Umbutho wezeMpilo waseMerika. (1994). Incwadana yokuxilonga kunye neenkcukacha zeengxaki zengqondo (4 Ed.) . Washington, DC: Umbhali.