UkuPhathwa kweMvakalelo, ukuHluma, kunye noxinzelelo: Yintoni enempilo?
Ndibhalile malunga nokuhluthwa ngamaxesha amaninzi ngenxa yokuba ngumxhasi-mngxininiso, kwaye abantu abaninzi banamathela kwixesha elinye. Ukuhluthwa-umkhuba wokugxeka kwiimeko ezimbi ezenzeke kwixesha elidlulileyo-unxulumene nemiphumo emibi, kokubili engqondweni nasemzimbeni. ( Funda malunga nemiphumo yokuqhuma apha. )
Ukuhluthwa, nokho, yindlela elula ukuyifaka xa sigxininisekile, kuba iqala ngesifiso esilula ukuxazulula iingxaki ezisithintelayo.
(Ukuxazulula ingxaki, siyaziqiqa, siya kunciphisa ingxaki yethu.) Ingaba ingaba yinto engalunganga?) Abo bangayi kuhlola, baqonda, kwaye bafunde kwiingxaki ebomini babo bahloselwe ukuba baphinde baphinde baphinde baqikelele , ngoko kuya kuba nzima ukuyeka ukuthambekela kwethu. Yintoni umceli-onokuzimelela ukwenza?
Ukuhluthwa: Indlela Esebenza ngayo
Uninzi lwabantu aluyi kulungiswa kwiingxaki zabo. Uninzi lwethu lufuna ukuvuya, kwaye sifuna ukugxila kwiingcinga ezenza sivuyiswe. Ingxaki ivela xa kukho into ephazamisayo, esongelayo, okanye ehlambalazayo eyenzekayo-into enzima ukuyivuma-kwaye asikwazi ukuyiyeka. Singazama ukuyenza ingqondo engqondweni yethu, ukwenza umzamo wokufunda kuyo, okanye sinokufuna ukuqinisekiswa ukuba oku akufanele kwenzeke. Kungakhathaliseki isizathu, nangona kunjalo, asikwazi ukuyeka ukucinga ngako, kwaye xa sicinga ngako, siyacaphuka.
Ukuhluthwa kunokubandakanya ukuhamba ngeenkcukacha zengxaki entlokweni okanye ukuthetha nabahlobo malunga nalo, kodwa inkcazo yokuchaphazela eyahlula kuyo ukusombulula ingxaki rhoqo yinto engacwangcisiyo.
Ukuhluthwa Kwenzeka njani Kokuhlukana Kwengqondo?
Ndiye ndafunda abafundi abaninzi ukuba ndibuze umbuzo ofanayo ndandizibuza xa ndifunda malunga nokuhluthwa: xa singacingi ngeengxaki zethu, sinokuzifumana njani ukuba sinokuzixazulula okanye zifunde kwinkqubo?
Ngaba sifanele sigxile kuphela kwizinto ezilungileyo, kwaye asiyikuhlakulela ukukhula kunye nezisombululo kwixesha elide xa singagxila kwiimeko ezingathandekiyo ngezikhathi ezithile? Lo ngumbuzo obalulekileyo; Ukwazi i-midpoint yolonwabo phakathi kokunyaniseka kweengxaki kunye nokuxhamla kunokusindisa uxinzelelo oluninzi!
Ngokuqhelekileyo, ukuhluthwa kubandakanya iipatheni ezingacingiyo ezicokisekileyo okanye eziphindaphindiweyo. Abantu abaninzi banqabile xa bezama ukuchukumisa iimvakalelo zabo, kodwa "bazinamathele" kwiipatheni ezimbi zokuphinda zibuhlungu ngokudlulileyo ngaphandle kokuhambela kwisisombululo okanye kwiimvakalelo zesisombululo. Yintoni eyahlula ukuhluthwa okanye "ukuhlala kwiingxaki" ekusebenziseni iimvakalelo zomoya okanye ukufuna isisombululo kukuba ukuhluthwa akuvelanga iindlela ezintsha zokucinga, ukuziphatha okutsha okanye iindlela ezintsha. Iingcamango zengqondo zihamba ngaphaya kolwazi olufanayo ngokuphindaphindiweyo ngaphandle kokuguquka, kwaye uhlale engqondweni embi. Ukuhluthwa kunokuba 'kusasazeka' ngendlela; kunokwenzeka ukuba abantu ababini bahlanganyele "ukudibanisa" kwaye bagcine imeko engalunganga iphila phakathi kwabo ngokungenakuhamba okuthe tye.
Ukuqaphela Ukuhluthwa Kwakho
Kutheni ukugqithisa kubonakala ngathi, kwaye kuhluke njani kwintsebenzo yempembelelo yomoya?
Ukuhluthwa kunye nokuphathwa kwemvakalelo bobabili bathambekele ekugxininiseni iingxaki, kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo kwiimvakalelo ezijikeleze ezi ngxaki. Ukuhlengahlengisa, kunjalo, kunokuba kubekho ukuphazamiseka okungakumbi - kubandakanywa iipatheni zokucinga ezibandakanya ukungafihli kunye nokuphazamiseka kwengqondo , kwaye kugxininise ngakumbi kwiimeko ezimbi zengxaki. Ukuqhutyelwa ngokomzwelo, ngokuphambene, kunokuqala ngale ndlela, kodwa kukhokelela ekwamukelweni nasekukhutsheni iimvakalelo ezimbi, ngelixa ukuqhuma kukugcina "uzinzile."
Njengomgaqo oqhelekileyo, ukuba ufumana ukugxininisa ingxaki ngaphezu kwemizuzu embalwa engenzi lutho, uzive ungakumbi kunokuba uqale uvakalelwa, ungenayo intshukumo yokuvuma nokuhamba, kwaye ungasondelanga kwisisombululo esilungileyo, mhlawumbi uwile ukuba ugibe.
(Ngokufanayo kunye nencoko nomhlobo - ukuba ngaba ingentla iyenyani, kwaye ukuba nonke niphelela ukuziva unzima kakhulu emva koko, mhlawumbi unomdla wokubambisana.)
Yintoni enokuyenza malunga nokuHluma
Into eyenzayo kukuba, nangona ukuvuthwa kusenza sizive sibi ngakumbi kunokuba kungcono, kunokuba kunzima ukuyeka, ingakumbi ukuba awuyikukuqonda njengokwenyuka, okanye awukwazi ukuyeka. Ezi ngcebiso malunga nokuyeka ukuxinezeleka kunye nomsindo kunokuncedisa ekucingeni okugqithiseleyo. Eli nqaku malunga nokujongana neemvakalelo ezintle kunokunceda ekugqibeleni kunye neemvakalelo zoxinzelelo eziza nazo. Kwaye ezi zicwangciso zokuyeka ukuhamba ziyakunceda ukuba ulahlekise umkhwa wokunyusa!