Qalisa Ukusebenzisa Umsa Wothando Ukucamngca Ngoku!

Ukucamngca inceba ngenye yeendlela ezidumileyo zokucamngca, kunye nesizathu esihle. Abo babonisa ububele bothando bemihla ngemihla bayakwazi ukwandisa amandla abo okuxolela, ukuxhamla kwabanye, ukwamukelwa kwamanye, kunye nokunye. Kwaye ukuxinwa kwengcinezelo kwimiba yokucamngca inamandla. Akunamsebenzi kwindlela elula ukuyenza kwaye kunokukwenza ube nolonwabo ngemizuzu!

Ingongoma ebalulekileyo yothando ngothando kucamngca amandla enomdla kunye nothando kuye nakwabanye. Izibonelelo zobubele bothando zicacile: abacuphi bafumana zonke iingeniso eziqhelekileyo zokucamngca , ezininzi kunye nokufikelela kude, kunye nemvakalelo efudumeleyo, kakuhle, inceba, ezenza izibonelelo zayo. Oku kulandelelwano olulula noluluncedo lokucamngca inceba ukuzama.

Nantsi indlela:

1. Zenzele ixesha elithile elithulileyo (nokuba imizuzu embalwa isebenza) kwaye uhlale ukhululekile. Vala amehlo akho, phucula imisipha yakho, kwaye uthathe ukuphefumula okumbalwa.
2. Khawucinge nje ufumana ukuphelela ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo noxolo lwangaphakathi. Khawucinge ukuba uziva unothando olugqibeleleyo, uzibulela ngokusemandleni akho, ukuba uyazi ukuba ulungile, njengokuba kunjalo. Gxininisa kulo mvakalelo woxolo lwangaphakathi, kwaye ubone ngeso lengqondo ukuba uphefumlela ukuphefumula nokuphefumla ngothando.

1. Phinda u-3 okanye 4 uqinisekise, uqinisekise amagama. Kukho amaninzi asebenzayo, kodwa ndiyamthanda kwaye ndincoma oku kulandelayo:
   1. Ndingavuya.
   2. Ngamana ndingakhuseleka.
   3. Ngamana ndingaphila, ndinoxolo, ndinamandla.
   4. Ngamana ndingamnika kwaye ndifumane ukuxabisa namhlanje.
2. Bask kweso sinzo ngexesha elifutshane. Ukuba ingqwalasela yakho iyaphazamisa kwenye into, ngokukhawuleza uyibuyisele kule miva yenceba yothando. Vumela le mvakalelo ikugubungele.

1. Unokukhetha ukuba uhlale kunye nale ngqalelo kwixesha lokucamngca okanye uqale ukutshintsha ugxininiso lwakho kubathandekayo ebomini bakho. Qala nomntu osondelene naye-nokuba ngumlingane, umntwana, umzali, okanye umhlobo ongcono. Yivaka uxabiso lwakho nothando kubo. Hlalani noluvo. Unokuba ufuna ukuphinda iilwimi ezilandelayo okanye ezifanayo ezizisa iimvakalelo zobubele bothando phakathi kwakho:
   1. Ngamana ungavuya.
   2. Ngamana unokukhuseleka.
   3. Ngamana ungaba nempilo, uxolo, kwaye ube namandla.
   4. Ngamana unika kwaye ufumane ukwazisa namhlanje.
2. Emva kokuba ubeke le mvakalelo ngaloo mntu, velisa abanye abantu abalulekileyo ebomini bakho ekuqapheliseni kwakho, omnye ngomnye, kwaye ubabonise kakuhle kunye nokuthula kwangaphakathi. Emva kwesebe ukuphuma kwabanye abahlobo kunye nosapho, ngoko ngaba ngabahlobo kunye nabaziwayo, nakwezinye iindidi zabantu emhlabeni jikelele. Unokwandisa le mvakalelo yomusa wothando kubantu bakwamanye amazwe emhlabeni jikelele kwaye ugxininise kwivakalelo zokuxhamla novelwano. Ungabandakanyeka nabo abaphikisana nabo ("i-frenemy" okanye umntu ovakalelwa kukuba unomsindo okanye umsindo) unokukunceda ukuba ufikelele kwindawo yokuxolelwa okanye uxolo olukhulu.
3. Xa ukucamngca kwakho kugqibeleleyo (yintoni na xa usenza isigqibo), vula amehlo akho kwaye ukhumbule ukuba unokubuya kwakhona ngaloo mvakalelo emnandi yonke imini. Yikhumbule indlela inceba yokucamngca inomdla ngayo, kwaye ubuyekelele le mvakalelo ngokuphefumula okumbalwa kunye nokutshintsha kugxininiso kulo lonke usuku.

Iingcebiso:

1. Okokuqala, qhelisa oku kucamngca kwakho njengesihloko, kwaye uqhubele phambili kubo abo kulula ukuba ugubungele ngobubele bothando. Ukuqondisa ububele bothando kubantu abanzima ebomini bakho buzisa inzuzo yangempela ekuxoleleni nokuvumela ukuhamba, kodwa kungathatha okungakumbi.
2. Unokuba ufuna ukusetha i-timer ukuba uxhalabele malunga nokuchitha ixesha elininzi lokucamngca, ngakumbi ekuqaleni.
3. Ukucamngca kungenziwa kwiindlela ezininzi ezahlukeneyo. Oku kungumzekelo nje. Unokuza kunye nobubele bothando lobuciko obusebenza ngokukhethekileyo kuwe - qiniseka ukuba ugxininise ingqalelo ngendlela ekhuthaza iimvakalelo zothando.

> Imithombo:

_{UFredrickson BL, uCohn MA, uCffey KA, uPek J, uFinkel SM. Vula iintliziyo zakha ubomi: iimvakalelo ezintle, ezibangelwa ukucamngisa inceba, ukwakha izibonelelo zomntu.} I-Journal of Personality and Psychology , ngoNovemba 2008.

_{I-Hutcherson CA, i-Seppala EM, i-Gross JJ. Ukucamngca inceba kwandisa intlalo yoluntu. Umoya , Oktobha 2008.}