Unokwazi umntu okanye uthandane nomntu osekuqaleni kwamanyathelo okusela utywala. Into ekwazisa ukuba banokuba nengxaki yokusela utywala, kodwa akukho nto ungayifaka ngayo umnwe ngenxa yokuba okwamanje ubonisa iimpawu ezimbalwa zeempawu zokusetyenziswa kwezidakamizwa zokusetyenziswa kotywala.
Iingcali zithi ukutywala utywala ngumzimba oqhubekayo. Xa umntu onobungozi bokusetyenziswa kotywala uqhubeka esela, iimpawu zibonakala zibonakala ngakumbi kwaye zininzi, kude kube ngokucacileyo phantse ukuba wonke umntu unenkinga yokusela.
Kulula ukuqonda njengabantu abanxilisayo abangenamakhaya kwi-gutter okanye i-inkino yokucela utshintsho ukuthenga ibhotile. Kodwa, abazange bahlale bebonisa zonke iimpawu ezibonakalayo. Babenxilongo ixesha elide ngaphambi kokulahlekelwa yinto yonke baze baphela kwisitalato. Iingxaki zabo zokusela ziphuhliswe ngexesha elide . Abazange bavuke ngelinye ilanga kwaye ngokukhawuleza "baba" ngotywala.
Oko kuthetha ntoni, nangona kunjalo, akunjalo ngokucacileyo kwizigaba zokuqala zesifo. Kwimigangatho yokuqala yokusela utywala, akusoloko kubonakala ukuba umntu unenkinga yokusela, kodwa kukho izibonakaliso ezithile.
Ngoko, unokuxelela njani ukuba umntu othabathayo ungumntu onxilisayo? Nazi ezinye izinto ozozijonga.
1 - Ubomi Bakhe boBomi boBomi boBomi obuHlangene noTywala
Uhamba kuphela kwiimeko apho utywala bukhoyo okanye buvunyelwe. Uxhoma kunye nabanye abaselayo kwaye uyabaphepha abo bangenalo. Akayi kudlala kumdlalo weLittle League, kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo uya kumdlalo wekholeji apho kuya kuba khona. Uyakuthatha kwifilimu ethile, kodwa akakwazi ukulinda ukuphuma apho kwaye uye kwibha.
2 - Usela ukuNciphisa ingcinezelo
Uyaphuza xa evuya, kwaye xa ehlutha. Uyaphuza xa egubha (kwaye uya kubhiyozela nantoni na!), Kwaye uphuze xa ecinezelekile. Usebenzisa utywala ukuze abhekane nobomi, nokuba ubomi bukhupha okanye buhla. Kulo, utywala ngumkhonto. Uyathembela kuyo ukujongana neemvakalelo zakhe. Utywala lithetha nje ngakumbi kuye kunokuba kwenza abanye abantu.
3 - Akabonakali Ukuxiliswa
Unako "ukubamba utywala." Unako ukusela izidlo ezininzi kwaye ungabonakali nayiphi na impawu yokuxiliswa. Uye wavelisa ukunyamezela kotywala , oko kuthetha ukuba kuthatha utywala obuninzi ukwenzela ukuba azive ngendlela enye okanye ezimbini iziphuzo ezisetyenziselwa ukuba azive. Ukuba uzama ukusela kunye naye, uya kuziva iziphumo ezininzi ngaphambi kokuba acinge ngokucotha.
4 - Ubuntu Bakhe Utshintsho Xa Usela
Nangona engabonakali ukuxiliswa emva kweziphuzo ezimbalwa, uvakalelo lwakhe okanye ubuntu bakhe bunokutshintsha. Unako ukuhamba ekubeni ngumntu onomusa, onomnandi ukuba uthethe kwaye uthethe kakubi emva kokusela izibini ezimbalwa. Okanye, unokutshintsha ekubeni abe neentloni kunye noxolo ukuze abe nomsindo kunye nobudlova. Okanye, unokuba nomsindo xa ephuza, xa engacabangi ukuba akabonakalise nantoni na.
5 - Ufumana i-Irritable Xa Ungaphuzi
Ulungile xa esela esandleni sakhe, kodwa ukuba unesimo apho angenakukusela khona na ixesha elithile elibalulekileyo, unokuba nomsindo. Unokuthukuthela ngokunyanzeliswa, okanye kungabikho nxamnye nayo. Xa ehlambulukile uya kuba engalindelekanga kwaye kunzima ukuthetha naye.
6 - Uyaphuza xa engazange acwangcise
Unokuthi akayi kusela namhlanje, kodwa ngokukhawuleza xa ehamba nabanye abaphuzayo, utshintsha ingqondo yakhe. Okanye, unokukuxelela ukuba uya kusela enye okanye ezimbini, kodwa uphelela ukuba unokuningi. Unokuqala ukungaphuzi ngexesha lokuhlwa kodwa kungekudala udala imeko, njengokuba uqala ingxabano, oko kumnika isizathu sokuqalisa ukusela.
I-7 - Akayifaki kwiMpawu enye
Uninzi lwabatywala bentlalo banalo utywala okanye uphawu oluthandayo kwaye banamathele ekuphuzeni isiselo sabo esithandayo. Ukuba i-brand yabo ayifumaneki, bayakuyeka ukusela. Utywala baya kusela nayiphi na into abangayifumana ngayo. Xa benemali eninzi, banokusela imimoya egciniweyo, kodwa xa bephantsi kwemali, baya kusela ibhiya ephantsi kakhulu. Uluhlobo kunye nemveliso iya kutshintsha, kodwa ukusela akuyi kuyeka.
8 - Ukusela kuyenze iingxaki ebomini bakhe
Mhlawumbi ulahlekelwe ngumsebenzi ngenxa yokulahleka emsebenzini ngenxa yokusela kwakhe. Okanye, wayenokuba nengxaki ngomthetho xa esela. Abantu abaninzi abasebenzisa ukusela kwabo kubangele iingxaki, okanye abaye bazihlazola xa bexakekile, baya kufunga kwaye bangalokothi baphuze. Kodwa, uyaqhubeka esela nangona kukho iingxaki eziqhubekayo.
9 - Uhlala Ufumana Indlela Yokufumana Utywala
Angenakho imali eyaneleyo yokukukhupha ngaphandle, kodwa uhlale ewanele ukuthenga utywala. Unako ukuyeka ukuthenga into ayifunayo yona ukuba uthetha ukuba akanakuthengwa ngotywala naye. Uya kususa ezinye izibophelelo zemali, ukuqinisekisa ukuba unokufumana utywala. Ukuba engaphandle kwemali ngokupheleleyo, uya kuhlobo lomhlobo kwaye atywe i-booze yabo.
10 - Unomlando weNtsapho yoTywala
Labo abanomdla wentsapho yobunxila banomngcipheko omkhulu wokuba utywala, xa kuthelekiswa noluntu jikelele. Yazi intsapho yakhe. Ukuba unezihlobo zegazi-abazali, abantakwabo, oomama okanye oomama-abaneengxaki zokusela, kwaye uqala ukubonisa iimpawu zokuphuhliswa kokusetyenziswa kotywala, kunokuba ngumqondiso "uya kuba" ngumnxila.
Isandi esiqhelekileyo?
Ukuba kukho konke oku kuvakalayo okuqhelekileyo, umntu owaziyo mhlawumbi abe ngumnxila otywalayo. Unokuba ufuna ukufumana okungakumbi malunga noko kukuthandayo ukuba nomntu othandekayo onxilisayo.
Ungaphinda ufune ukufumana okungakumbi malunga noko unokukwazi kwaye unako ukukwenza ukunceda umntu onxilisayo, kwaye ufumane ukuba nantoni na oyenzayo okwenza ukuba umntu onxilisayo aqhubeke phambili.
> Imithombo:
> ISiko leSizwe malunga nokuTywala noTywala. "Utywala lweMihlaba yokuSebenzisa." Utywala kunye neMpilo Yakho
> ISiko leSizwe malunga nokuTywala noTywala. " Ukusetyenziswa kweziTywala zokuSebenzisa utywala: Ukuthelekiswa phakathi kwe-DSM-IV kunye ne-DSM-5 ." Upapasho lwe-NIH No. 13-7999. Novemba 2013.