"Ngexesha lokuqala ndiyeka ukutshaya, ndandineminyaka engama-24 ..."
Ukusuka kuLeslie:
Ngokuqala ndayeka ukutshaya, ndandineminyaka engama-24. Ndihlala eVancouver kwaye ndifuna ukuba ngumdlali wokudlala. Ndandifunda i-theatre kwi-Breck Academy kwaye ndandidlulile ubuhlobo beminyaka emihlanu kunye nothando lwam lo kuqala. Ndandisoloko ndihlaselwa ngumxhala kuba ndandiselula, kodwa 'izifo ezixhalabisayo' zazingumtsha kakhulu ngelo xesha, kwaye kwakungekho uphando oluninzi okanye iincwadi ezikhoyo.
Ugqirha wam ngelo xesha wayengazi ukuba kutheni ndigcina ingxowankulu yokuxhatshaza, ukunyaniseka nokuziva ndixhalabise kakhulu ixesha, kodwa ngakumbi kwizihlwele. Wandithumela kwingcali yamaphaphu njengoko ndiyi-asthmatic kwaye wacinga ukuba abo babini bahlobene. Ukuphuma Ndaya kwiklinikhi yemiphunga ye-X-ray kunye nomhla wokuzonwabisa wokukrazula nokwenziwa.
Ikliniki yayineentlobo ezifanayo ezixubene kunye ne-aura yezifo ezikuhlaselelayo xa uhamba ngesango nasiphi na isibhedlele. Kodwa oku kwahluka. Amagumbi kunye negumbi lokulinda lazaliswa ngabantu, ikakhulu izigulane, zahlakazeka kuwo onke amagumbi kwiindawo ezahlukeneyo zempilo nokuhamba. Kwakukho abantu abaninzi malunga nokuxubana nabahambahambayo, ezinye zazingena kwiitanki zomoya, ukuphefumula kwazo zisebenza nzima. Sekunjalo, abanye bahlala beqhekeza kwiivili. Amehlo abo ayandikhangelele ngokungabi nantoni.
Asinakucinga ngokuphefumula de kube nzima kwaye kufuneka sigxininise kuyo.
Ininzi yethu ithatha ngokungenanto. Ukuphefumula. Uphulo lobomi. Kuyinto eqhelekileyo, ngokoqobo, kwaye kakhulu, inqabileyo kakhulu xa kufuneka silwe ukuze siyifumane. Kukho abantu abane-emphysema, i- COPD , kunye ne-tracheotomies ababefunda ukuthetha. Andizange ndiyazi ngoko, kodwa ngokude-ininzi yabo iyabhema.
Ndahlala ngecala ekhoneni, ndilinde ixesha lam. Ndathathwa ngesitulo sabakhubazekile ukuya kwigumbi le-X-Ray, i-excursion ndayifumana ingqiqo-ndicinga ukuba ndakwazi ngokupheleleyo umzimba-kwaye ngaphezu kokubangela ukwesaba. Ukuba naluphi na owake waba ne-x-ray yemiphunga okanye nayiphi i-x-ray yolu hlobo, uyavuma ukuba akusiyo into ejabulisayo.
Amabele ami ahlekisiwe (kwaye ukuba akuyonto igama, emva kokuba namava afana naloo nto - kufuneka adibane kakuhle!) Ngokumelana neshidi elibandayo elimele lifakwe kwifriji, ndade ndishiywe yedwa ndijikelezwe ngunyumba kwaye ndatsho ukuba ndiphephe umphefumlo wam ngenkathi umongikazi wee ekhusele kwelinye igumbi ukunyakraza iqhosha eliya ku vumela lo mshini ukuba ukhangele ngokugqithiseleyo kumntu wam. Njengobubele kunye nomnandi njengoko umongikazi wayekho, ndandiziva ndivelele, ndabanda kwaye ndothuka. Abantu ababehlala kwelinye igumbi bandigungqise ngokwenene. AYI-cigarette ayifanele.
Emva koko, njengoko ndandisondele ukungena eteksi yam - ndajonga enye ipakethi ye-cigarette. Ngethuba oluthatywayo noludiniweyo lwabantu abanomdla ngamnye ukuphefumula kusandul 'ingqondo engqondweni yam - ndikhuphe ipakethe. NDENZIWA. Akukho nto eyayifanelekile, kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo akufanele ihlawule! Yintoni endandicinga ngayo? NDIYAPHUMA!
Kwiintsuku ezintathu ezalandelayo zazaliswa ukulala , ukujuluka (ndiyithande loo nxalenye, kufana nokuhlanjululwa kwee-toxins) kunye neentloko.
Ndandinomdla ngoku ngoku, ngokubanzi kusekelwe kwimibutho , kodwa umfanekiso weklinikhi wawungenakukwazi ukumisa nayiphi na enye i-ruminations xa uqala kwakhona. Andizange ndivumele ukuba ndihambe apho. Ndandingabhemi. Ndandingu-AMAZED kwaye ndonwabile indlela elula ngayo! Yayiyiphi into ephikisana ngayo, le nto yayiyinxalenye yekhekhe ?!
Enyanisweni-ukuba ndifuna ngokwenene, ndingaba lula ukukhwaza okanye ukuyeka kwakhona. Noko ke, ukuvumba kwaso kwakungcolileyo, kwaye andizange ndifune ukunyusa izinto ezikhoyo. Iziphumo zam zokuvavanya zabuya zicacile, i-asthma yam (ngokwemvelo) iphuculwe kakhulu, kwaye ngokwenene ndithwala ubunzima ngenxa yokuba ndandisebenza kakhulu njengomntu ongabhemi.
Ndingazange ndibone ukuba ingakanani ukutshaya kwamandla okuphuma kumntu. Emva kokujongana noxinzelelo (okwakungaphantsi komntu ongabhemi, nalo), ndandisendleleni yokuzonwabisa.
Kwaye kwenzeka into ephazamisayo. Ibhinqa elalithatha inxalenye yokondla yoba ngumama emva kokuba ndandidlulile, yaba kakhulu, wagula kakhulu. Umtshayi wokuphila, uDorothy wayengakaze afumane ingcamango yokuyeka. Wayevelise isifo esibi kakhulu kunyaka odlulileyo, esasisusile, kwaye ngoku saye saqulunqa umzimba wakhe. Bamnika iveki.
Njengoko wayekho kwisixeko esithile, ndayazi ngokukhawuleza ukuba ndimele ndibaleke kuye ndimbonge kwaye ndiyamthanda. Nangona sasiqhekekile, intombi yam yangaphambili yayifuna ukuza kunye nam - wayesazi noDorothy, kwaye wayesazi ukuba ndiloyiko lokuhamba. Wayengumtshayi. Ngaphambi nje kokuba iteksi ifike ukuze isithuthelele kwisikhumulo sezindiza, ndamcela ukuba icube.
'Ngomnye,' ndamncenga, 'andiyi kuphinda ndiqale kwakhona, andiyithandi kwakhona, yinto nje enzima kangaka, uyazi?'
Okunye okuvela kuLeslie:
Iiveki epheleleyo
I-Seduction
I-Smokescreen
Ukunyangwa kwamayeza