Ndingumfana oneminyaka engama-22 ubudala ofunyanwe ukuba unengxaki yomntu ongekho emngceleni (BPD) xa ndandineminyaka engama-19. Ndicinga ukuba iBPD yam idibene nenyaniso yokuba ndibenobunzima buntwaneni. Ngaphandle kokungena kwiinkcukacha, ubaba wayengekho, kwaye umama wayengumama omkhulu.
Ingxaki yam enkulu ngoku kukuba ndingabonakali ukugcina ubudlelwane. Wonke umntu ushiya. Andikwazi ukugcina inkwenkwe ngaphezu kweenyanga ezimbalwa, kwaye nabahlobo bam baya kundilahla emva kwexeshana.
Naluphi na ulwalamano lwam oluphela, ndivakalelwa kukuba, ndingenanto, ndingenanto. Ndenza konke okusemandleni ukuba ndizame ukuwubamba, kodwa akusebenzi. Kutheni abantu bengakwazi ukulungela kum kwaye banamathele?
Umngcipheko woMntu woLuntu oMngcipheko uquka ukulwa
Umzabalazo olwalamano oluchazayo luqhelekileyo kubantu abaneengxaki zomntu ongekho emngceleni (BPD) . Uphawu olubalulekileyo lwe-BPD luloyiko lokushiya. Esi sibonakaliso sinokubangela ukuba ufune ukuqinisekiswa rhoqo ukuba ukushiya akusikufuphi, ukuya kwixesha elide ukuzama ukuphepha ukulahlelwa kwaye uzive ukhululekile xa umntu ephelisa ulwalamano nawe.
Kodwa uchaza enye into eqhelekileyo kwi-BPD. Abantu abane-BPD banamathuba amaninzi angabonakaliyo, abaxhatshazwayo kunabanye, kwaye olu lwalamano luvame ukuphela kusengaphambili ngenxa yeengxabano.
Ingxabano inokukhokelela ekukhutshweni
Ngeendlela ezininzi, i-double whammy.
Abantu abane-BPD babesaba ukulahlwa kunye neempawu ezidala ukungquzulana nabanye kwaye zihlala zikhokelela ekushiyekeni, oko kuqinisekisa ukuloyika. Ukongeza, abantu abane-BPD banokuthi baxhomekeke ngakumbi kumava okushiywa. Ngoko ke, nangona kubuhlungu ukuba wonke umntu abe nokuphela kobudlelwane, ukuphela kobudlelwane kunokuziva buhlungu kakhulu kubantu abaneBPD.
Iindlela zokuMisa iNgqungquthela engafanelekanga yokuBambisana kunye nokuLahlwa
Iindaba ezilungileyo kukuba kukho izinto onokuzenza ukuze uzame ukuyeka lo mjikelo. Ngokomzekelo, kwipilisi yokuziphatha ngokuchaneka (DBT) isethi sezakhono ezibizwa ngokuba "ukuphumelela ngokubambisana" izakhono zifundiswa. Ezi zakhono zinokukunceda ufunde ukuphumelela ngakumbi ubudlelwane, obunokubangela ukuba olo lwalamano luqine kwaye lukwazi ukuhlala. Ukuba awufumani i-DBT ngoku, le nto ingaba yinto yokuthetha nomchaphazi wakho malunga.
Ulwaphulo olujoliswe kwiSikimu lunokuba luncedo ekuboneni nasekutshintshiseni iindlela zokucinga ezibangelwa iingxaki ebomini bakho. Ingakunceda ukuba ufumane iimfuno ezingagqibekanga onokuzama ukuzenza abanye bahlangabezane ngendlela engafanelekanga kwaye bafumane iindlela eziphilileyo zokufumana ezo zidingo kunoko.
Ukongezelela, kunokukunceda ukuhlolisisa iingcambu zemiba yokulahla kunye nomgqirha wakho. Kuvakala ngathi unamanye amava ebuntwaneni bakho bokuqala obuya kukushiya ukwesaba abantu abakushiya. Ukuthetha malunga nendlela amava okuqala achaphazela ngayo iindlela ezikhoyo zokujonga kunye nokusebenzisana nehlabathi kunokuba luncedo.
Ngonyango, umsebenzi onzima kunye nexesha, kunokwenzeka ukuba ube nolwalamano oluzinzileyo kwaye ufunde ukuzijonga wena kunye nabanye ngendlela enempilo nangokwenene.
Imithombo:
Gunderson JG. Ubudlelwane obudibeneyo njengeNkhenotype yoLuntu oluPhezulu lwengxaki. I-American Journal ye-Psychiatry . 164 (11): 1637-1640, 2007.
Linehan, MM. Umqulu Wokuqeqesha Amakhono Wokuphathwa Kwengxaki Yomntu Wemida. INew York: I-Guilford Press, ngo-1993.
"Umngcipheko wobuntu bombandela." IMayo Clinic (2015).