1 - Xa Ufanele Ukhohlise Ngamanye Nini, kwaye Nini Le Mlilo Umlilo?
Usenokuba ulivile icebiso, "uyinyumba uze uyenze," isetyenziselwa ishishini okanye ukuzithemba. Ingasetyenziselwa nokuzonwabisa-ukunciphisa, ukunyanzelisa ukunyanzeliswa kwemisebenzi, njengokunyanzela ukumamotheka, ukunyanzelisa ukuba uphume, okanye ukuphinda uqinisekise ngokuqinisekileyo. Kodwa ngaba le mi sebenzi isebenza okanye ingaba ibuyele? Nazi ezinye iimeko ezixhaswa ngophando xa zifakela imisebenzi kunye nemizekelo xa ingenza umonakalo omkhulu kunokulungileyo.
I-2 - Inkohliso Yobangele?
Usenokuba uvile iziphakamiso zombini iindlela: ukubetha xa uziva ungonwabi kunokukwenza kube nzima kakhulu, kwaye ukumamatheka okukhohlisayo kunokukhokelela kwinyani. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba uye wakuva nokuphanda okuphakamisa izikhundla zombini. Ngoko, yintoni na?
Enyanisweni, ngandlela-thile, bobabini baqinisile. Xa uncumo njengendlela yokunciphisa iimvakalelo, ungenza uzive ungcini. Maxa wambi sonke sikwenza oku xa sifuna ukulungiselela uluntu olwamkelekileyo. Kwaye uphando oluthile lubonisa ukuba ukunyanzelisa ukunyamezela kunokubanceda abantu abadandathekileyo bazive bengcono. Kodwa ukuba uhlala ujamelana nokungaxhamli ngokunyanzela ukumomotheka kwaye uzenza ngathi awukhathazeki, oku kunokudala ezinye iingxaki. Unokuziva unempilo kwaye ingaba yinxalenye yendlela enkulu yokungahambisani neemvakalelo zakho. Ukuba ufakazela ukuba abo basondeleyo kuwe, abo banokunika inkxaso, abazi ukuba akukho nto iphosakeleyo, oku kunokukunceda ukuba ungabi ncediso lwentlalo enokukwenza uzive ungcono. Ncuma xa ufuna, kodwa vumela ukuba ube yinyani xa unakho, kwaye usebenzise iimvakalelo zakho .
Ukuba, nangona kunjalo, uziva ungathathi hlangothi okanye nje "phantsi," ukumemeza kunokunceda. Uphononongo olulodwa lwacela izifundo ukuba zenze ukumamatheka kwaye zilinganise indlela abaziva ngayo emva kwemizuzu embalwa yale nto. Iziphumo zabonisa ukunyuka kwiimvakalelo ezintle ngenxa yokumomotheka; Kule meko, ukumamatheka okukhohlisayo kubakhokelela ekukholeni. Abaphandi bakholelwa ukuba oku kungenxa yokuba ingqondo nomzimba ukuthetha. Ngokweengqondo, sichaphazela isimo sethu sengqondo ngokujonga izinto zethu njengomlindi. Ngako oko, unako ukuqinisa imvakalelo ngokuzibonakalisa ngokomzimba. (Abaphandi baye bafumanisa ukuba ukuma umgcini-nqanaba kunokukwenza ukuba uzive ukhululekile.)
Olunye ufundo lwaluphethe izifundo eziphethe ipensela kumazinyo abo ukuze kusebenze imisipha efanayo efunekayo yokumomotheka. Bafuna ukubona ukuba isenzo sokumomotheka singenza iimvakalelo ezintle okanye ukuba abantu, xa bephoqeleza ukumncoma, babeza kucinga ngezinto ezenza bavuya kwaye ezo ngcamango zazikhokelela ekuncumeni okwenene. (Oku kuya kuthetha ukuba ukunyuka kwiimvakalelo ezilungileyo kuya kuba ngenxa yeengcamango ezixhamlayo kunokuba isenzo sokumemeza ngokwaso.) Ngokuthakazelisayo, nokuba izifundo 'ezaziye zincuma' ngenxa yokuba zibambe ipensela emazinyweni azo zifumana zivakale ngakumbi nje ngeziphumo.
Ukucwangcisa izinto, olunye uchungechunge lwezifundo lufumene ukuba iinkolelo zethu ngokumamatheka zingenza umehluko apha. Uphando olusuka kwiNyuvesi yaseNyakatho-ntshona lufumene ukuba abo bacinga ukumomotheka njengento yokubonakalisa indlela abavakalelwa ngayo banokuziva bevuya ngakumbi xa bevame ukunyamezela. Nangona kunjalo, abo babona ukumemeza njengesizathu sokonwaba kunokuba kubangelwa kukuba bafumanisa ukuba ukukrakra okungakumbi kunomphumo ochaseneyo. Isiqhosha apha kukuba ukuba ucinga ukuba uyamomotheka njengento oyenzayo ngenxa yokuba unesimo esihle, ukumemeza ngokuphindaphindiweyo kukufanele uzive ungcono. Ukuba ucinga nje ngento enokuyenza ukuba uzive ungcono, ungeke ufumane ukukhuthaza okufanayo.
Ukuba oku kuyinyani kuwe, unokufuna ukuthatha umzuzu okanye ezimbini kwaye ugxininise kwizinto ezintle ebomini bakho, khumbula okokugqibela into ehlekisayo eyenzeka kuwe, okanye ngenye indlela ugxile kwizinto ezenza uzoncumo ngokwemvelo.
Into ebalulekileyo ukuba uyikhumbule kukuba ukunyamama okwenene kukhethwa, nangona zombini iintlobo zinganceda. Ukuba unokucinga ngezinto ezinokukunceda ube nolonwabo njengendlela yokuguqula umbono wakho kwaye uzive uthanda ukumomotheka, oko kulungile. Kodwa ukuba awukwazi ukuzifumana kuloo hlobo lendawo evuyayo ngemizuzwana, ukuzumklaza kuyindlela elula edlalayo .
Ngaphandle kweemvakalelo zempilo kunye nempilo yokumomotheka, kukho iingeniso zokulawula uxinzelelo. Enye yeyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu kukuba, xa unxiba ukuthetha okulungileyo, kunokusasazeka. Smile kwaye ihlabathi libuyele kuwe, njengoko ilizwi lihamba. Ukuhambahamba kunye nomntu wonke ophendula ngokuthe tye kukukhokelela ekumomotheni okwenyaniso.
Isiqinisekiso: Fakela-kodwa kuphela phantsi kweemeko ezithile! Ukuba uthabatha ukuzityumzela ukuze uzinike amandla ekukhuthazeni, oku kusebenza ngokubanzi ukuba ucinga ukummotheka njengomfanekiso weemeko zakho ezilungileyo. Ukuba ufaka ukumncumo ukuyeka ukujongana neemvakalelo zakho okanye izinto ezikudakisayo, okanye ukuba ucinga ukummotheka ngokunyanzeliswa nje kuphela ukukholisa, oko kunokukwenza uzive unzima kakhulu ekuhambeni kwexesha. Yaye ukuba unokwenza uzive uncumo, yile ndlela eyona ndlela ihamba phambili!
3 - Inkohlakalo yokuqinisekisa?
Ukuqinisekiswa okulungileyo kunconywa ngokubanzi kwezinye izicwangciso zokuncedisa. Ngokwemvoko, yindlela yokwenza "iinkolelo" malunga nawe kunye nobomi bakho xa uzama ukwenza ezo nkolelo zininzi.
Iziphakamiso zeencwadi zakuqala zithengisa i-2000s, Imfihlo , isekelwe, inxalenye, ekusebenzeni kweziqinisekiso ezilungileyo. Kodwa iziqinisekiso zinconywa ngabanye abaninzi beencwadi zokuncedisa ezithengisayo kunye kwaye baye bafumana oku kulandelayo kwiminyaka yamuva.
Ukuqinisekiswa kunokufaniswa nama- personal mantras , kwaye kunconywa ukuba iphinde iphinde iphinde ihlaziye ingqondo engqondweni yabantu ukuba ithathe indawo yeenkolelo ezingekho phantsi kwazo, ngakumbi xa zikholelwa ngokwabo.
Kodwa ba sebenza? Abanye abantu bathi abo baphinda ngokuphindaphindiweyo ukunyaniseka ngokugqithiseleyo bayazikhohlisa kwaye ekuhambeni kwexesha, abayisebenzisi okanye bayilimaza ngenxa yokuba bayazikhohlisa. Ngaba kunjalo?
Okuthakazelisayo, xa kuziwa ekuqinisekiseni, abantu abanomdla bafumana ingongoma. Uphando luye lwabonisa ukuba iziqinisekiso ezintle ziyakwazi ukubuyela emva kwiimeko ezithile. Ngokukodwa, xa abantu bephinda baqinisekisile ukuba abanakholwa ngokwenene okanye okungafaniyo noko bakukholelwayo ngokwenene, ingqondo engacatshulwayo iyalahla ezi ziqinisekiso kwaye iyakwazi ukuxhathisa ingcamango kwaye igxininiswe ngakumbi ngenxa yoko! Ngoko ngale ndlela, ukuqinisekiswa okungalunganga okunene kunokukwenza okungakumbi kunokulimala kunokuba kuhle.
Okubalulekileyo apha kukuba ukuqinisekiswa okungaphezulu kwezinto eziyingozi kukuba abantu baphinda xa bechasene noko bacinga ngokwenene-okanye ubuncinci kakhulu kwiinkolelo zabo. Oku akuyinyaniso kwiimfundiso eziphinda ziphindwe oko abantu bakholelwa ukuba bakwenene, okanye ukuba abantu bakholelwa ukuba banganyani. Oku kubaluleka kubalulekileyo kuba ukuqinisekiswa okuhambelana neenkolelo zenyaniso ngokwenene kusebenza ekuqiniseni ezi nkolelo kunye nokwandisa phezu kwazo. Kodwa iziqinisekiso ezichanekileyo ezihambelanayo nendlela ocinga ngayo ukuba unokukwazi ukuba nefuthe elinamandla.
Umzekelo woqinisekiso oluya kubuyiselwa umntu ojongene nokukhathazeka ngokubonakala kwawo: Ndiyindoda enhle kunazo zonke ehlabathini . Ngenxa yokuba kude kude nendlela ovakalelwa ngayo loo ntokazi ngokuphathelele kwakhe, ingqondo yakhe yengqondo iya kulwa, kwaye ukuqinisekiswa kuya kudala uxinzelelo ngaphandle kokudala utshintsho oluhle.
Ukhetho olungcono luya kuba: Ndiyintle ngokwaneleyo , okanye ndiyinhle ngaphakathi nangaphandle . Ukuba le ntokazi izama ukutya okunempilo kunye nexesha elifanelekileyo lokuzilolonga, inokudala iziqinisekiso zokuxhasa le nto, njengokuba ndisebenza kwimpilo enkulu kunye nobuhle imihla ngemihla , okanye ndiyomelela, ndifumana impilo, kwaye ekugqibeleni, melele, ndiphilile, ndiyintle .
Nayi eminye imizekelo.
Ukungaboni kakuhle: Ndiphelile kunye noxolo lwangaphakathi.
Ingqiqo ngakumbi: Ndizama ukujonga uxolo , okanye ndiba noxolo ngakumbi.
Ukungaqiniseki: Ndinamandla kwaye akukho nto ibuhlungu.
Eyona ingqiqo: Ndiyomelela kwaye ndiyakwazi ukujongana nale mngeni , okanye ndiya kunqoba le miqobo .
Ukungaqiniseki: Ubomi bam buphelele ngendlela efana nayo.
Okubaluleke ngakumbi: Ubomi bam buba bhetele, okanye ndisebenza kubomi obungcono . (Kungcono nokuba kuluhlu lweendlela iindlela ubomi buba ngcono ngayo, njengamaxwebhu ahlukeneyo.)
Ezi zibonakala ngathi zihlukeneyo, kodwa kwingqondo yakho engqondweni, zibalulekile. Kwaye kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuba le mizekelo kuphela. Ukuba izibhengezo ezibhaliweyo "zingenangqiqo" ngokwenene zenzele ukuba zinyanisekile, kulungile ukuzisebenzisa. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba zide okanye zichasene noko ukholelwa ngokwenene kule ngongoma, kukulungele ukuzincokisa ukuba zihambelane nento engcono kakhulu yokuba unokukholelwa ngawe kunye nemeko yakho kulo mzuzwana.
Isiqinisekiso: Qaphela ukuba uyisebenzisa njani! Ukuqinisekiswa okukude nantoni na okholelwayo kunokubuyisela. Iziqinisekiso ezithatha iinkalo ezintle zento okholelwayo kwaye uyakhe phezu kwazo, okanye ukuhambisa kwindawo elungileyo yintloko.
4 - Inkohlakalo Ukuphumayo?
Uphando lubonisa ukuba i-extroverts inene ngokwenene ngakumbi kunabo baqalayo. Baphumelela empilweni. Oku kunokuvakalelwa njengeendaba ezimbi kulabo abanokwemvelo bathambekele ekungeneni, njengokuba ukuthambekela kokunciphisa okungakumbi kunento esizalelwe ngayo. Nangona kunjalo, iindaba ezilungileyo kukuba singakwazi ukutshintsha ukuthambekela ngenjongo ngokusebenza ngokuzimeleyo kwiimeko ezithile, kwaye uphando luye lwaxhasa le nto.
Kwesifundo esithile, abaphandi bacela ukuba bangenise kwaye baxhamle ngokufanayo ukuba benze izinto, baze bafumanise ukuba ama-introverts and extrots ayenayo ukunyuka kwonwaba. Kwimeko yolu cwaningo, "ukwenza izinto ezixutywayo" kuthetha ukuzithemba nokuphumla kwimeko yentlalo ehlala malunga neyure. Oku kwahlukileyo ukuzitshintsha ukuba utshintshe ukuzaliswa kwezinto ezizalisekileyo zifuna ngaphezulu "ixesha eliphantsi" emva kokunxibelelana kwezentlalo, umzekelo, kwaye kuya kuba nzima ukuba uvakalise ukungavumeleli oku. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba ungeniswa ngokwengeziwe, unokufumana inzuzo ethembekileyo nokuphumayo kwiimeko ezithile zentlalo, kungekhona nje ngokuba uya kudibanisa nabantu abaninzi kwaye ukwandise izibonelelo zakho zentlalo, kodwa ngenxa yokuba uya kuba nexesha elifanelekileyo, ukwandise uvuyo lwakho , kwaye ekunciphiseni amanqanaba oxinzelelo kwinkqubo
Ukuba oku kukuvakala kungenangqiqo kuwe, ndiya kukukhomba kwelinye uphando oluthambileyo olubonisa ukuba awukho yedwa kule ngcamango. Olu phando lucelwa ukuba baxelele indlela abayavuya ngayo xa bebambezela, kwaye bahlala bexhomekeka ukuba bevakalelwa njani ukuba babe neenjongo zokwenza okungakumbi kunokuba bazive. Oku kungaba yinxalenye yeso sizathu esiphezulu phakathi kwethu sinenkinga enzima ephuma kwiigobolondo zabo-kungekhona nje ukuthatha umzamo, kodwa abaqinisekanga ukuba umvuzo ufanelekile loo mzamo. Qinisekisa ukuba, ukuba uzama, uya kuvuya ukuba wenza. Le yindlela enye ephumelelayo yokunciphisa uxinzelelo xa uyifakazela .
Isiqinisekiso: Fakela! Ukuba njenge-extrovert kwiimeko ezithile zentlalo kunokuncedisa bobabini abangenayo kunye nabangenayo.
5 - I-Bottom
Ngokuqhelekileyo ibinzana elithi "liyinyumba uze uyenze" lingafaka isicelo sokuba nesimo esihle sengqondo. Kukho iimeko ezithile apho ingqondo yakho engqondweni ingazi ukuba uyayifaka kwaye ayiyi kukhohliswa. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba unako ukufudukela ekubeni uzive unonwabo kwaye ungagxininiswa ngakumbi xa ungeke ucinge ngokumomotheka, ukuphindaphinda kwengcamango enokuthi uyikholelwa ngokwenene, okanye uphendule lwangaphakathi ngokubhekiselele ekuziphatheni komhlobo, yenza oko! Ukuba le nto ivakalelwa kukukhohlisa kwaye uqala ukuziva unzima ngakumbi, zama enye into yokukhuthaza ukukhuthaza.
Imithombo:
> A. Koriat, H. Ma'ayan, R. Nussinson. Ubudlelwane obunzima phakathi kokubeka esweni nokulawulwa kwendlela yokuqonda: Izifundo zokuhambelana nezizathu kunye nefuthe phakathi kwamava nokuziphatha. Umbhalo we-Psychology yovavanyo: I-General , 135 (2006), iphe. 36-69.
> Labroo, Aparna; Mukhopadhyay, Anirban; Dong, Ping. Akunjalo amayeza athile kakhulu: Kutheni ukunyotywa rhoqo kunokunciphisa impilo. Umbhalo weNzululwazi yezoLuntu, uJulayi 2014 53: 156-162.
> Wenyi > Lin; Jing, Hu; Yanfei, Gong. Ngaba kunceda abantu abanexinzelelo elincinci ukugcina > ukumemeza >? Uhlalutyo oluchanekileyo lwesiganeko. Ukuziphatha kweNtlalo kunye noBuntu: i-International journal 2015, Vol. 43 Issue 3, p383 14p.
> I-Wood, JV, Perunovic, WQE, & Lee, JW (2009). Izitatimende ezizimeleyo: Amandla kwezinye, ingozi kwabanye. I-Psychological Science , 20 , 860-866.
> Zelenski, uJohn M .; Whelan, Deanna C .; Nealis, Logan J .; Besner, Christina M .; Santoro, Maya S .; UWynn, uJessica E. > Ubuntu > kunye nokuxela kwangaphambili: Iingqinisiso zengxaki zichaze iindleko ze-hedonic zokwenza i-extraverted. Umbhalo woBuntu kunye neNzululwazi yeNtlalo , Vol 104 (6), > Juni, > 2013 iphe.