Ndiza kutshintsha ukuyeka ukukhalaza. Mhlawumbi akunakwenzeka ukugqiba isigqibo sokuba ungayi kukhononda kwakhona, kodwa ndiyincinca ukuba ndiyeke iiveki ezimbalwa kwaye ke ndigcine ubunzima obukhawulayo emva koko. Ngenxa yokuba, ngelishwa, ndingasebenzisa inkqubo yokuhlaziya ngokungaxhalali.
Akunjalo mna (okanye uninzi lwabantu) bahlala kulo lonke usuku ekubhekiselele kwimpumelelo ebomini-kude nayo!
Abaninzi bethu banokufuna ukuphawula kunye nokuthetha ngezinto zonke esinokubonga ngazo ebomini. Singahlala sichaza ixesha elikhethekileyo kunye nabathandekayo, silandele intshukumo yethu ebomini, sibhale ngokubulela kwiphephancwadi, okanye uhlanganyele kwezinye izinto ezilungileyo. Kodwa, sisazifumana sikhalazo ngaphezu kokuba sifuna-kwaye ngaphezulu kunempilo.
Uninzi lwethu kufuneka lukhuphe ukukhathazeka ngezikhathi ezithile kwaye, ngokuqinisekileyo, oku kwenziwa kwimeko yokucombulula iingcamango. Kufuneka sixoxe nabathandekayo ngeemvakalelo, zombini ezintle kunye ezimbi. Kufuneka sifune iimbono zabantu abathembelayo xa sibhekene nokukhetha okanye imeko ezinzima. Kwaye oku kunokuba yinto entle, kodwa kaninzi kunokuquka ukuxoxa ngamabali ngeengxaki. Ngamanye amaxesha unqabana ukukhalazela okanye ukunyundela-kwaye leyo ingaba yintlambo elula.
Amanqanaba okuba abe neempembelelo ezingakumbi
Ukuba le meko iyinyaniso kuwe kwaye ungathanda ukuhlaziya ukuzibophezela kwakho ekugcineni izinto ezintle njengoko zinokuthi, isicwangciso esilandelayo ukunciphisa isikhalazo kunye nokwandisa ithemba kunokusebenza kakuhle kuwe.
Isinyathelo sokuqala kukuba uqaphele xa ukhononda kakhulu okanye uphuma kwi-rumination. Isinyathelo esilandelayo kukuzama into entsha. Ezi zicwangciso ezilandelayo zibonakaliswe:
- Ukuyeka ukucinga. Le yinkqubo yokuba abaninzi beengcali baphakamisa imiba eyahlukeneyo ngoba isebenza kakuhle. Xa ingcamango engathandeki ingena entloko yakho, uyayiphazamisa ngokoqobo ngomfanekiso wengqondo yomqondiso wokuyeka okanye igama elithi "yima!" Kwaye uqhubekele kwingcamango eyahlukileyo.
- U kuhamba. Ukubhalwa kwiphephancwadi kubangela inzuzo enxulumene nempilo kunye nenzuzo. (Funda ngaphezulu malunga neenzuzo zokubhengeza .) Ukukhohlisa ukulolonga ngempumelelo kukubhala malunga neengxaki kunye neemvakalelo zakho malunga nayo kwaye ucinge izixazululo kwaye ubone iimeko ezikuyo imeko yakho.
- Ukufuna inkxaso. Ndiyamthanda inkxaso yoluntu njengengxaki yokuxinzelela uxinzelelo kwaye ndinenhlanhla ukuba ndinabantu abancedisayo nabanobuchule ebomini bam ukuthetha xa ndihlehla. Esikhundleni sokukhalaza kubo, ndiya kuhleka nabo. Ukuba ndijamelana nomngeni omkhulu, ndiya kubaxelela indlela ndiziva ngayo, fumana iingcamango zabo (mhlawumbi kunye), uze uqhube kwiimxholo ezivuya. Akukho sikhalazo esifanelekileyo.
- Uhlala unombulelo. Ukubala iintsikelelo zam ngenye yezindlela endithanda ngayo ukuphuma kwimeko ephosakeleyo okanye ukuguqula ingqalelo yam kwizinto ezinomsindo ebomini. Kwaye kunzima ukukhalaza xa ucinga ngendlela enenhlanhla ngayo! (Funda ngokubanzi malunga neenzuzo zokubulela kunye nendlela yokuhlakulela ngayo.)
- Ukuthatha inyathelo. Isibongozo sokukhalaza sivela ekungonelelweni ngento eqhubekayo ebomini bomntu (ngokuqhelekileyo kunye nokuvakalelwa ukuguqula). Izikhalazo zingabonakalisa ukuba isenzo siyadingeka. Ngoko, ngexesha elizayo ndiva ngathi ndikhononda, ndiya kugxininisa into endiyenza ukuze nditshintshe iimeko zam-ke ngoko (ukuba kunokwenzeka) zenze oko!
- Ukuhlakulela ithemba. Kulula kakhulu ukuyeka imikhwa emibi ngokuyithatha indawo enezinto ezintle. (Enyanisweni, iingcali ezininzi zithi le yindlela ephela yendlela yokwenza ngayo!) Ukutshintsha iingcamango ezingalunganga kunye namazwi kunye neenjongo ezinokubangela izibonelelo ezininzi. Kufanelekile ukuzama, nangona ungacwangcanga ukuyeka ukukhalaza nanini na ngokukhawuleza. (Funda ngokubanzi malunga neenzuzo zokuba nethemba kwaye ufumane indlela onokukhuthaza ngayo ithemba elithembekileyo.)
Njengoko ugxininisa ngakumbi ekunciphiseni ukukhalaza kwakho kwaye ukwandisa ukubulela kunye nokuzonwabisa kwakho ngobomi, uya kuba nomuvahluko kumanqanaba akho oxinzelelo kunye nenqanaba lokuwaneliseka kobomi bonke.
Abanye baya kuphawula kwaye baphawule xa wenza utshintsho olukhulu. Ekugqibeleni, ubomi bakho yinto oyenzayo kunye nalezi zicwangciso kunokukunceda wenze kube lula.