Indlela Ongayichaphazela ngayo Ubuhlobo Bakho Nabanye
Ubudlelane-bobabini besithandane kunye ne-platonic-ngokusemandleni abo, lunokuba luncedo lwezona zinto ezinamandla kunayo yonwabo kunye nokuxinwa kwengcinezelo, ukubonelela ngamava amahle, ukugcina imizwa yethu ephakamileyo kunye neyomeleleyo, kunye nokudala umthombo wenkxaso xa amaxesha anzima. Eyona nto ibuhlungu kakhulu, nangona kunjalo, ubudlelwane bunokuziva buhlungu kwaye bunokuba ngumthombo obangela uxinzelelo , nokuba luhlobo olusisigxina, luhlobo oluphantsi, uxinzelelo oluphakathi oludala ukuxhalaba nangona izinto zihamba kakuhle okanye ezinye iintlobo zoxinzelelo, zonke ezo ziphuculwe ngaphandle.
Uninzi lwezinto ezinokubangela ulwalamano oluxinzelelekileyo okanye uxinzelelo lokuxinwa luhlobo loqhagamshelwano olugcina ubudlelwane kunye. Ukunxibelelana okunempilo kunokusenza senze imozulu phantse nasiphi na isiqhwithi, kwaye sinokugcina izinto zihamba kakuhle ngokusemini ngemini. Ukuba unxibelelwano luvulekile kwaye lucacile, iingxaki ezincinci ziqwalaselwa ngokukhawuleza kwaye kulula, kwaye ubudlelwane buqhubeka. Xa unxibelelwano luphilile, iingxaki ezincinci zingabangela iingxaki ezinkulu kunye nentukuthelo inokukhula. Nazi ezinye iintlobo zonxibelelwano ezingapheliyo zokuthintela, kunye nendlela abazenza ngayo uxinzelelo. Uzakufumana iindlela eziphilileyo zokunxibelelana kuzo zonke ulwalamano lwakho.
Ziziphi izinto ezinokwenziwa koNxibelelwano olubi
Ukuphulaphula ngokwenene: Kukho iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokuphulaphulwa kakuhle, kwaye bonke bayazigqithisa ubudlelwane ngandlela-thile. Kukhona ukuphulaphula ubuvila komntu ongenakwenene ingqalelo kodwa uthetha ngokuthobeka, "Uh-huh ... uh-huh." Oku kunobungozi obukrakra, kodwa kungonakalisa ulwalamano xa luhlangene lunye okanye lungapheliyo, xa Umlingani uyaqaphela ukuba into eninzi ayithethayo ayiyiva okanye ayikhunjulwe.
Oku kunokwenza umntu azive engaphantsi kwexabiso kunokuba angathanda. Okumonakalisa ngakumbi uhlobo lokuphulaphulwa kakuhle apho kukho ingxoxo ebalulekileyo kwaye umntu oyedwa ulindele ithuba lokuthetha ngaphandle kokuva oko akuthethayo iqabane lawo. Oku kudala imeko apho ukuphulaphula kungekhona okwenzekayo, ngoko ukuqonda akunakwenzeka.
Oku kutshabalalisa ixesha labanye abantu kwaye abasazibetheli omnye komnye xa iinkcukacha zobuqu zikwabelwana, kwaye akukho sisondululo xa senziwa kwingxoxo ebalulekileyo. Mhlawumbi uhlobo olubi kakhulu lokuphulaphula xa umntu efuna ukuphulaphula okanye azame ukuqonda kwelinye icala. Oku kwenzeka njalo kwaye kudala imeko yokumisa ngaphezu kwexesha.
Indlela edala ngayo ukuxinezeleka: Oku kunokushiya ukushiya umvakalelo omnye weqabane ukuba ixesha labo lichithekile, ukuziva uxabisekile, ukuziva ungathembeki kwintsebenziswano xa kuziwa kuvakalelwa okanye kuqondwa.
Yintoni ongayilinga kuyo endaweni: Zama ukuba khona, okokuqala kuqala, xa uthetha. Sebenzisa izicwangciso zokuphulaphula esebenzayo njengokuphindaphinda into oyaziyo malunga noko omnye umntu athethe ngako. Zama ukuqinisekisa iimvakalelo, kwaye zama ukuqiniseka ukuba uphulaphule ngokwenene njengoko ufuna ukuva. Akubalulekanga umzamo.
Unxibelelwano oluxhasayo
Le ndlela yokunxibelelana ingazibonakalisa ngeendlela ezininzi. Elinye iqabane linganciphisa omnye ngokuvuma ukwenza into kwaye "ukulibala," okanye kubonakala ngathi uyavuma, kodwa uthetha okuchasene nexesha elizayo isihloko sifika. Ukunyanzelana-nobudlova kungabonakalisa ukungavumelani rhoqo kwimibandela emincinci, ingakumbi phambi kwabanye.
Indlela Edala ngayo Ukuxinezeleka : Oku kunokubangela uxinzelelo kwimiba ngenxa yokuba kungabi nzima ukulwa nobudlova; inokuphika kalula, ukudala imeko "yokukhanyisa". Ingabangela uxinzelelo oluphantsi kobukhulu ukuba uzive uqhagamshelana nomntu ongaqondiyo okanye akayi kukukhumbula oko kuthethwayo, okanye nje akhathalele.
Yintoni ongayilinga kuyo endaweni: Kwakhona, ukuphulaphula ngokunyanisekileyo kunokukunceda apha. Kwakhona kuncedisa ukuthetha ngokuthe ngqo, apho uxoxa ngokuthe ngqo ukuba unokungavumelani okanye umba nomntu. Ukusebenzisa "imiyalezo" kunokunceda abanye baqonde indlela ozivakalelwa ngayo. Oku kungabonakala kungquzulwano kumzuzwana, kodwa kunyanzelisa ukuxabana kwexesha elide ngokuxazulula imiba njengoko ivela.
NoNxibelelwano olubuhlungu
Unxibelelwano oludityanisayo lubandakanya ukunxibelelana ngokukrakra, kuquka ukugxeka okanye ukubiza igama. Ixabisa omnye umntu ngokubanzi, ishiya abantu bazive bekhuselekile kwaye beshiya isigqubuthelo phezu kwengxabano enkulu.
Indlela Edala Ngayo Ingcinezelo: Akunakuze kulungile ukuhlaselwa. Abo basebenzise amaqhinga anxibelelwano abanomdla banomdla kakhulu kwaye "banqoba" kunokuba bafike ekuqondeni. Oku kubangela ukungqubuzana kwinqanaba elitsha, kwaye kwenza ukuqonda okungafaniyo.
Yintoni ongayilinga kuyo endaweni: Ukuba ufumana ulaka, lixesha lokuma kwaye uzama ukuqonda ukuba ngubani othetha naye, ukujonga kwicala lawo. Ukuba uzifumanisa ekupheleni komgudu kwaye awukwazi ukufumana umntu ukuba aqonde imbono yakho, kusenokuba ixesha lokuba uzide kwaye usebenzise iindlela zokunxibelelana zokubambisana xa kuyimfuneko. Ukumisela imida kuyimfuneko.