Ngokuchanekileyo Indlela Yakho Imvakalelo Efanelekileyo Ikwazi Ukulwa Neengcinezelo
"Impembelelo enokuthi" ichaza ukunyamekela komntu ukuba abe nemvakalelo emihle kunye nokusebenzisana nabanye kunye nemingeni yobomi ngendlela efanelekileyo. Ukungathinteki kakubi kukubandakanya ukuhlangabezana nehlabathi ngendlela engafanelekiyo, ukuziva iimvakalelo eziphazamisayo kunye nokungahambisani nokungahambisani nobudlelwane. Ezi zimbini zizimeleyo zodwa, nangona zihlobene; umntu unokuphakama kwi-positive kwaye engathintekiyo embi, ephakamileyo kwelinye, okanye ephantsi kokubili.
Bobabini buchaphazela ubomi bethu ngeendlela ezininzi, ngakumbi xa kuziwa kuxinzelelo kunye nendlela esisingatha ngayo.
Impembelelo Efanelekileyo kunye Nokuxinezeleka
Ifuthe elichaphazelekayo linxulumene nezinye iimpawu zabantu abahlala benoliseko ngakumbi, njengokuba nethemba, ukukhupha, nokuphumelela. Nangona kunjalo, ithintelo elihle alikho nje ngomnye umkhiqizo wobomi obonwabileyo, obunzima kakhulu; iyimpembelelo. Ngamanye amazwi, akukhona nje ukuba abo banomdla kwaye baphumelela ngamava amaninzi amava achaphazelekayo ngenxa yokuba banokubanandipha, kwaye bavele bexinezelekile ngenxa yento yonke ebalulekileyo ebomini babo; igalelo labo elihle linokuthi lenze amanqanaba omncinci ophantsi. Abo banokuphila okungapheliyo banokukwazi ukunyamezela ngokunyamezela ngokuzihlakulela ukuchaphazeleka okanye ukuthatha amanyathelo ukuze bahlale bengcono ngakumbi. Nasi isizathu.
Ukwandisa nokwakha iTheory
Iingcali zeengqondo uBarbara Fredrickson uye wacwaninga ngokubanzi imiphumo yokuchaphazeleka okuxhomekeke ekuxinezelekeni kwaye uye waba nomzekelo wendlela enokuchaphazela ngayo inokusebenzisana nokuqina, eyaziwa ngokuthi "yokwandisa nokwakha" inkolelo yesimo sengqondo esihle.
UFredrickson nabanye baye bafumanisa ukuba xa sikwazi ukuphakamisa umoya, oku kunokwandisa (okanye kwandisa) imbono yethu ukuze sikwazi ukubona amathuba amaninzi ebomini bethu, kwaye oku kusenza sisebenzise ngokulula ( ukwakha phezu) ezi zixhobo. Ezi zixhobo ziquka oku kulandelayo:
- Izibonelelo eziMzimba : Oku kuquka amandla, amandla, amandla, impilo, kunye nokuphila kakuhle. Umzekelo, ukuba unesimo sengqondo esihle, unokuba nefuthe elongezelelweyo ukuya kwindawo yokuzivocavoca nokwakha izibonelelo zakho zomzimba.
- Izibonelelo zengqondo : Oku kuquka ukukhetha ukhetho olungakumbi, ukukhupha ngaphandle kokurhoxiswa, okanye ukumelana neeseti ezihamba phambili ngaphandle kokutshiswa, umzekelo. Ukuba uhlangabezana nefuthe elihle, umzekelo, unganamkelekanga ukuhlala kwindawo engalunganga kwaye unokugxila kwizinto ezinokubomi bakho.
- Izibonelelo zentlalo : Oku kuthetha ukuxhaswa ngakumbi, abahlobo abaza kunika iingcebiso ezintle xa ucela, ukuboleka ihlombe ukukhala, okanye ukukuzisa i-casserole ukuba uhamba ngexesha elinzima. Ukuba uhlala ucasulwa, ungabagxotha abo banokukuxhasa ebomini bakho, nangona ukuba unengxaki echaphazelayo, unokuba ngumhlobo okhangayo.
Ezi zixhobo ezinyukayo zingakhokelela ekuqinisekeleni ngakumbi ukunyamezela. Eyona nto, inokusebenza "njengenyuka phezulu" yokuzimela apho iphiko elichaphazelayo livelisa ukuzinza ngakumbi ekunyamezelweni kunye nefuthe elihle. Ngelishwa, ukuchaphazeleka kakubi kungasebenza ngendlela efanayo.
Kungenxa yoko kunceda kakhulu ukuhlakulela imizwa enhle kunye nokuzonwabisa ebomini; akuyinto nje eyokukhokelela kwiimvakalelo ezintle ngethuba, kodwa ingaba yindlela yokunyamezela phantsi kunye nobomi obonwabileyo ngokubanzi.
Indlela yokwandisa indlela ochaphazeleka ngayo
Iimpembelelo ezintle zinokuphuhliswa kwaye zihlwaywe. Nangona ukuxhatshazwa kukuzalwa, oko kuthetha ukuba abanye abantu bazalwa nje benomdla omkhulu wokuba nomoya omhle njengenxalenye yobuntu babo, kukho izinto ezininzi ongayenza ukuze ube nomkhwa xa ufumana unempembelelo entle rhoqo ebomini bakho , kunye nokwenza iimoya zakho zibe ngcono.
Zininzi zezi zinto zibandakanya ukutshintsha iindlela zethu zokucinga kunye nokutshintsha amava esizibeka kuyo. Nazi ezinye zezinto onokuzenza ukuze wandise amava akho anefuthe elihle.
- Gcina I-Journal Yokubonga Uphando lubonisa ukuba ukubhala malunga nento oyibulela ngayo ebomini bakho kunokuvelisa amanqanaba amakhulu okuchaphazelekayo, kwaye le nzuzo ihlala ixesha elide. Funda kabanzi malunga nokugcina iphepha lokubonga .
- Ukuxhamla kwiiNkcazo zoBomi Ukuba uceba amava amnandi ebomini bakho, unokunyuka ukwandisa amava akho okuchaphazelekayo kunye neenzuzo eziza nazo. Khawukhumbule nje ukufaka izinto ezonwabisayo ngokutsha rhoqo ukuze ungakhathazeki. Funda kabanzi malunga nokongeza "ezonwabo" ebomini.
- Ukuzibandakanya kwizinto zokuzilibazisa Abaninzi bethu abanalo ixesha elininzi lokuzilibazisa njengoko singathanda, kodwa kubalulekile ukwenza ixesha. Oku akunako ukwandisa impembelelo yakho emihle, kunokususa ingqondo yakho into enokukugxininisa, kwaye ikushiye ngengqiqo yokufezekisa. Funda kabanzi malunga nokuzonwabisa okuxininisa ukuphazamiseka apha.
- Qalisa Ukucamngisa Uthando Ukucamngca , ngokubanzi, kukulungele ukulawulwa kwengcinezelo, kodwa ukucamngisa inceba kukuphatha kakuhle, ngokukodwa ekubeni kunokunyusa amanqanaba akho okuchaphazelayo kwaye kukuncedise ukuba uzive ukhululekile. Funda ukuba ungaqalisa njani ukucamngca ngothando ngothando.
- Ukuzivocavoca-kwaye Zijabulise! Umsebenzi wezinto ezibonakalayo unamandla okuxhaswa kwengcinezelo kunye, kwaye kukho iindlela ezininzi zokuzilolonga onokuzibandakanya kuzo, unokufumana imisebenzi emininzi enokuzonwabisa. Ukudansa, i-yoga, ibhayisikili, uhamba nomhlobo? Cinga ngezinto ezinokumnandi kuwe, wenze njalo! Funda kabanzi malunga noxinzelelo kunye nokuzilolonga.
- Khumbulani kwaye Nilondoloze Iimpawu Ezibonakalayo Zomsebenzi Uphando luqinisekisa into oyifunayo ngokuqhelekileyo: ukuba amava amava amnandi anokunyusa ulonwabo oluvela kubo! Kwaye oku kunokwandisa igalelo elifanelekileyo, kunye nokukhokelela ekunandiseni ngakumbi ubomi kunye nokunyamezela kokunyamezela. Kutheni ungafumani ngaphezulu kwiindawo eziphambili zobomi bakho ngokuzidla ngokuzidla? Nantsi indlela.
Imithombo:
UFredrickson, uBarbara L.Inendima yeemvakalelo ezintle kwiengqondo ezichanekileyo: I-theory-and-build theory of emotions. I-American Psychologist, Vol 56 (3), Mar, 2001 iphe. 218-226.
UGarland, u-Eric L .; UFredrickson, uBarbara; Kring, Ann M .; Johnson, David P .; Meyer, Piper S .; UPenn, uDavid L. Ukunyuka kweemvakalelo ezintle ezichasene nomoya ongathandabuzekiyo: Ukuqonda okuvela kwi-theory kwaye kwakha i-neuroscience kwiyonyango yeemvakalelo kunye nokulahleka kwengqondo kwi-psychopathology. 2010 30 (7): 849-864.
Qian, Xinyi uLisa; Yarnal, Careen M .; U-Almeida, uDavid M. Ngaba ixesha lokuphumla elincinane okanye eliPhakathi kweMpepho yoLwabizo lweMihla ngemihla echaphazelekayo? Umbhalo woPhando loLonwabo 2014, Vol. 46 Issue 1, p106.
Schiffrin, uHolly H .; Falkenstern, uMelissa. Igalelo elichaphazela ukuphuhliswa kwamanzi: Inkxaso yendlela yokwandisa kunye nokwakha. INtshona American Journal of Psychology. 2012, Vol. 14 Issue 3, p569-584.