Amaxesha amaninzi amaLungu omNtsapho asenomdla wokuCinga ukuba anceda
Ngamanye amaxesha inqaku elikhutshweyo linikezelwa kule ndawo okanye kwiphepha leendaba leveki, likhuthaza i-imeyile evela kubafundi abavakalelwa kukuba amanqaku athetha ngenye indlela ukuba abahlobo kunye namalungu omndeni onxilisayo okanye umlutha kwiingxaki zabo. Nangona amaxesha amanqaku achaza ukuba amalungu omndeni awabangeli imbandezelo, uthando lwabo lunokuzenza lube negalelo kwiimeko zabo nezenzo zabo.
I-Al-Anon Iqela Lentsapho I-C C ithi, "Andizange ndiyibangele, andinakuyilawula kwaye andinakuyiphilisa," kodwa amalungu amaninzi ase-Al-Anon afumana izenzo kunye nokuphendula kwabo kunokubangela inxaxheba kwintsapho.
Kungekudala, xa ndibonise inqaku malunga nokuvumela kwiakhawunti yam ye-Twitter okanye kwiphepha le-Facebook, ndafumana i-imeyile evela kumfundi oqulethwe ngumhlathi olandelayo:
Ukumangalela intsapho?
Ukugxeka intsapho kwimeko apho umntu ozinikeleyo, ngokuziwayo, kunye ne-VOLUNTARILY, etholakele ngokumalunga nomlingo NGOKUBA NGAPHAMBILI! Akukho nentsapho (ngaphandle kokuba yintsapho ezele izidakamizwa ezingasebenzi / izidakwa!) TITSHALA ilungu lentsapho elithile INDLELA yokuba ngumlutha kwisiza! Ngoko iphi le nkomo *** "umlutha" isifo seentsapho, "inkolelo evela?
Okokuqala, ukuba ndiyilungu elisebenzayo le-Al-Anon Family Groups iminyaka engaphezu kwe-25, andiyikugxeka ilungu lentsapho ngenxa yeengxaki zexwala - Ndingumalungu entsapho.
Akukho nto endiyenze yabangela ukuba ilungu lam ilungu losapho litshatywe kwaye akukho nto ndizange ndiyime.
Ukunika amandla, Akuncedi
Kodwa emva kweminyaka yokufunda iincwadi nokuphulaphula amanye amalungu e-Al-Anon abelana ngamava abo, ndagqiba ekubeni ezinye zezinto endicinga ukuba ndizenzayo "ukunceda" imeko yentsapho yayinokudala umoya apho ukuziphatha okungasebenzi kakubi .
Esikhundleni sokunceda loo meko, ngokwenene ndenza ukuba iqhubeke ngeendlela ezininzi. Le mibuzo ingabancedisa indlela onokuyenza ngayo.
Inenjongo, i-Good-Intened
Ingxaki kum, kunye nabanye abaninzi abaye bafumana imeko efanayo, kukuba ndingazi ukuba ezinye zezinto endizenzayo ziyinxalenye yengxaki kunoko isisombululo. Njengabanye abaninzi abanentsingiselo, abanothando abanenjongo enhle, andizange ndizazi zonke iindlela ezahlukahlukeneyo endinokukwenza ukuba uhlaselo luqhubeke.
Andizange ndiyiqaphele ngexesha lokuba ndibizele ogulayo ngenxa yobunxila, wamqamba amanga, wamgubungela kwaye wamenza iimbangela zakhe ukuze agcine umsebenzi wakhe aze agcine igama lakhe, ukuba ngokwenene ndiyamnika ithuba lokuqhubeka ekuziphatheni kwakhe okubi kunokujongana nemiphumo yangempela kwizenzo zakhe.
Mhlawumbi ukuba ndimvumele ukuba ahlangabezane nemiphumo yemvelo yokusela, kunokungena kwaye azame "ukulungisa" izinto, unokuthi unqume ukuba kufuneka afune uncedo kwingxaki yakhe.
Isifo Seentsapho
Kwakhona bathanda abanye abaninzi kuloo meko, ndafumanisa ukuba ndandifumene ngokukhawuleza xa ndizama ukulungisa iingxaki zoxinzelelo endizilahlekanga kakhulu kwinkqubo.
Kwenzeke ngokukhawuleza nangenqabileyo ngaphezu kwexesha lokuba andizange ndibone ukuba ndifumene kangakanani na amava.
Ndathinteka ngeendlela endingaziqondi. Ngandlela-thile ndandisengqondweni nangokomzwelo nje ngokuba ndigula njengowunxilisayo, ngexesha lonke ndigxeka utywala ngenxa yeengxaki zonke! Yingakho kuthiwa isifo seentsapho . Iyakunqanda kwaye ikuchaphazele ngokwengqondo, ngokomoya nangokwenyama ngaphandle kokuba uyakwazi.
Kodwa andihlala ndigula. Ndifumene ukuphulukana nge- Al-Anon Family Groups . Ndafunda ukuyeka ukuba yinxalenye yengxaki, xa umntu oneminyaka engama-25 edlulileyo wandichazela ingqiqo yokunika amandla kwaye wachaza loo nto endiyenzile ngaphambili "ndandinceda" imeko.