Umngcipheko womntu ongenamgca ungenza unxibelelwano lunzima
Ukuba unenkinga yomntu ongenamkhawulo (BPD), ukunxibelelana kunokuba nzima. Unokuziva ungaqondwa kakuhle okanye ukuba abantu ababoni apho uvela khona. Ngokutshintsha indlela othetha ngayo , unokuphucula ubuhlobo kunye nokuziva uqondwa.
Ziziphi iimpawu zokuvalelwa?
I-"Feelings Statements" yenye yezona zixhobo ezinxibelelwano ezinamandla kakhulu. Ukusetyenziswa ngokuchanekileyo, kunokususa ithoni yokumangalelwa kwisitatimenti sakho kwaye kukuvumela ukuba uveze ingongoma yakho ngaphandle kokuphendula.
Kukho iingxenye ezi-3 ezibalulekileyo kwisitatimende sengqondo:
- Ukuchaza Ukuvakalelwa Kwakho
Oku kubhekisela ekuchazeni ingqondo yakho yokwenene, kwaye iqala ngegama elithi "I": Ndiziva ______________ . Ukutyekela xa uxoxa ngeemvakalelo kukuba ukubeka isilumkiso kuqala xa uhlaziya umvakalelo. Ngokomzekelo, abantu badla ngokuthi, "Undenza ndihluthe", okubangela ukuba kuthathwe ukusabela okukhuselekileyo komnye umntu ngelizwi lokuqala. Ingxelo yokuvakalelwa igcina kugxininise kwintetho yesithethi okungenakwenzeka ukuba kwenziwe ukuphendula okukhuselayo kwaye kunokwenzeka ukuba kunxibelelwano olunempumelelo. - Ukuqhagamshelanisa Ukuvakalelwa Kwinkinga
Emva kokuba uvakalelwa kukuba, kufuneka udibaniswe nombandela okanye isiganeko: Ndivakalelwa xa ndihlala ndedwa kwaye uphuma kunye nabahlobo bakho . Nangona kukho ukukhankanywa kokuziphatha komnye umntu, ugxininiso luyaqhubeka luba nemvakalelo engaxhamliyo isithethi. Ngokufanelekileyo, oku kuvumela omnye umntu ukuba agxile ekuncedeni ukunciphisa ubunzima, kunokuzimela.
- Ukuchaza into ofuna ukuba kwenzeke
Ekugqibeleni, isisombululo kufuneka sinikezwe: Ndiyathukuthela xa ndihlala ndedwa kwaye uphumile kunye nabahlobo bakho - Ndingathanda ukumenywa ukuba ube nawe, nokuba unabo bahlobo bakho . Esi sixazululo asiyi kuba yinyaniso ngokwenene kodwa ivumelekile ingxoxo. Ugxininiso luhlala kwimvakalelo, kwaye iinjongo ziyaqhubeka nokunciphisa ukuvakalelwa.
Ukuvezwa kweeNkcazo kuMsebenzi
Nasi umzekelo. Bobabini uSusan noKaren bafumana imeko efanayo kunye novakalelo, kodwa uKaren usebenzisa isityholo sengqondo, ngoxa uSusan engenzi. Njengoko ukhangele umzekelo, khumbula ukuba izityholo zentetho zidla ngokuba yi "Iingxelo" njengokuba igama lokuqala "Andiyi". "
- USusan uthi: "Ungavumi ukuba ndithethe oko ndifuna ukukwenza."
- UKaren uthi: "Ndiziva ndixhalabile xa sithetha malunga nokuceba kwaye andiyi kuthetha into endiyifunayo. Ndifuna ukuba bobabini babe negalelo. "
Kusenokwenzeka ukuba uSusan waneempendulo yokuzikhusela. Mhlawumbi omnye umntu uya kuqala ukunika imizekelo yokumvumela ukuba athethe oko afuna ukukwenza, qala ukukhononda ukuba bahlala benza oko afuna ukukwenza, okanye bakhononde kwakhona ukuba akaze abuze into afuna ukuyenza. Kungenzeka ukuba le ncoko iyatshatyalaliswa kwingxabano epheleleyo, ingashiyi mntu uvakalelwa ngokukhethekileyo.
UKaren, ngakolunye uhlangothi, wayefumana ithuba lokufumana impendulo ejolise ekunciphiseni ukukhungatheka kwakhe. Mhlawumbi iingcinga zakhe zafunwa kunye nomnye umntu kwaye kunye kunye benza icebo. Ukugxila kulula ukugcinwa kumsebenzi wamanje kunye nomsebenzi kunye neemvakalelo, kungekhona ukugxeka omnye nomnye.
Ukusebenzisa izitatimenti zengxelo kuthatha isenzo, kwaye kunokuba nzima ukuwasebenzisa rhoqo, ingakumbi ekuqaleni. Unokufumana ukuva iingxelo kunzima kakhulu. Nangona kunjalo, wonke umntu unokufunda ukusebenzisa ezi zinto kwaye uya kuxhamla kumnxibelelwano ongenamangalelwa.
Umthombo:
UJohnson, J. "Ngaba NdiziNgxelo Zilungileyo KuneziNgxelo?" I-Psychology namhlanje, ngo-2012.