Inkcazo yokuzilawula
Ukuzilawula kungachazwa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Kwona ngqiqo eyona siseko, kubandakanya ukulawula ukuziphatha, iimvakalelo kunye neengcamango ekuphandeleni iinjongo zexesha elide. Ngokukodwa, ukuzilawula komzimba kubhekisela kumandla okulawula iimvakalelo eziphazamisayo kunye neziphumo. Ngamanye amagama, ukucinga ngaphambi kokuba usebenze. Kwakhona kubonisa amandla okuzithokozisa emva kokuphoxeka kunye nokwenza ngendlela ehambelana nemilinganiselo yakho enzulu.
Phuhliso
Ukukwazi kwakho ukuzilawula njengomntu omdala unentsingiselo ekuphuhliseni kwakho ebuntwaneni. Ukufunda indlela yokuzilawula ngokubalulekayo kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba abantwana bafunde kokubili ukukhula komoya kwaye emva koko baxhamle uluntu.
Kwimeko efanelekileyo, umntwana omncinci okhulayo uya kuba ngumntwana ofunda indlela yokunyamezela iimvakalelo ezingenakuzikhupha ngaphandle kokuphosa umva kwaye emva koko abe ngumntu omdala onokukwazi ukulawula iimpembelelo ukuba enze ngokusekelwe kwimvakalelo engenakukhathazeka. Ngokwenene, ukukhula kukubonakalisa ukukwazi ukujamelana neengongelo ezingokomzwelo, ezentlalontle, kunye nolwazi ngokusingqongileyo kunye nomonde. Ukuba le nkcazo ikukhumbuza ukukhumbula, oko kungabikho kwengqondo yengozi kuhambelana nokukwazi ukuzilawula.
Kubaluleka
Ukuzilawula kubandakanya ukuthatha isikhashana phakathi kokuvakalelwa kunye nesenzo-kuthathe ixesha lokucinga izinto, yenza icebo, ulinde ngomonde. Abantwana bahlala bejamelana nale miba, kwaye abantu abadala banokuthi banjalo.
Kulula ukubona indlela ukungabikho komgaqo-nkqubo kuya kubangela iingxaki ebomini. Umntwana okhwaza okanye obulala abanye abantwana ngenxa yokukhungatheka akayi kuthandwa phakathi koontanga kwaye unokujamelana nezikolo esikolweni. Umntu omdala onobuchule bokuzilawula ngokuzilawulayo unokungazithembi nokuzithemba kwaye unenkxalabo yokusingatha uxinzelelo kunye nokukhungatheka.
Ngokuqhelekileyo, oku kungabonakaliswa ngokwemvakalelo okanye ukuxhalaba, kwaye kwiimeko ezininzi kakhulu, kunokufunyanwa njengesifo sengqondo.
Ukuzilawula ngokubaluleka kubalulekile ukuba kukuvumela ukuba wenze ngokuhambelana nemilinganiselo yakho enzulu kakhulu okanye isazela sentlalo kwaye uzibonakalise ngendlela efanelekileyo. Ukuba uyaluxabisa impumelelo yemfundo, kuya kukuvumela ukuba ufunde ngaphandle kokugxotha phambi kovavanyo. Ukuba uyaluxabisa abanye ukunceda abanye, kuya kukuvumela ukuba uncede umntu osebenza naye ngeprojekthi, nokuba ngaba uhlala ixesha elide.
Kule fom eyona siseko, ukuzilawula ngokusemthethweni kusivumela ukuba sibuyisele emuva ekuhlulekeni size sihlale sinoxolo phantsi kwengcinezelo. Ezi zinto zimbini ziza kuthwala ubomi, i-moreso kunezinye izakhono.
Iingxaki eziqhelekileyo
Iingxaki zokulawula umgaqo-nkqubo zikhula njani? Kuqala ekuqaleni; njengoko usana luye lwahoywa. Umntwana ongaziva ekhuselekile kwaye ekhuselekile, okanye ngubani ongaqinisekanga ukuba iimfuno zakhe ziya kudibana, unokuba neengxaki zokuthoba nokuzilawula .
Kamva, umntwana, umntwana, okanye umntu omdala unokuba nzima ukuzilawula, mhlawumbi ngenxa yokuba le nto ayikwazi ukuveliswa ebuntwaneni, okanye ngenxa yokungabikho kwezicwangciso zokulawula iimvakalelo ezinzima. Xa kushiywe kungakhange kuhlolwe, ngokugqithiseleyo kwexesha oku kunokukhokelela kwimicimbi enzulu njengengxaki yempilo yengqondo kunye nokuziphatha okumazi ezifana nokusetyenziswa kakubi kweziyobisi .
Amacandelo asebenzayo
Ukuba ukuzimisela kubaluleke kakhulu, kutheni abaninzi bethu besingazange bafundise izicwangciso zokusebenzisa olu buchule? Ngokuqhelekileyo, abazali, ootitshala nabanye abantu balindele ukuba abantwana "baya kuphuma" kwisigaba sokudabuka. Nangona oku kuyinyaniso kwinxalenye enkulu, bonke abantwana kunye nabantu abadala bangazuza ngokufunda izicwangciso zokukhonkxa.
Ingqiqo
Ingqiqo ibandakanya ukuhlakulela ukuqonda ngokukhawuleza ngokusebenzisa izinto eziphathekayo ezifana nokuphefumla. Oku kunceda ngokuzilawula ngokuvumela ukulibazisa ukuthotywa nokulawula iimvakalelo. Kuphononongo olwenziwa ngo-2018 lwezifundo zophando ezingama-27, ukubonwa kwengqondo kuboniswe ukuba kuthintela ingqwalasela, leyo eyayikunceda ekulawuleni ukuphazamiseka okungathintekiyo (iimvakalelo) kunye nokusebenza okusebenzayo (ukucinga ngendlela ephezulu).
Ukuphonononga kwakhona kwengqondo
Ukuphonononga kwakhona kwengcamango esinye isicwangciso esingasetyenziselwa ukuphucula ubuchule bokuzilawula. Esi sicwangciso sichaphazela ukutshintsha iindlela zakho zokucinga. Ngomxholo we-2017 othelekisa ingqiqo, ukuphononongwa kwakhona kwengqondo kunye nokunyanzeliswa kwemizwelo, kuboniswa ukuba njengoko sineminyaka yobudala, ukusetyenziswa kokuhlolwa kwakhona kwengqondo kubandakanyeka nefuthe eliphantsi kunye nefuthe elihle.
Ngokukodwa, ukuphonononga kwakhona kwengqondo kuthetha ukucinga malunga neemeko ngendlela eguquguqukayo, kunokuba enye inokunyusa iimvakalelo ezimbi. Umzekelo, cinga umhlobo akazange abuyisele iifowuni okanye iitekisi iintsuku eziliqela. Kunokuba ucinge ukuba oku kubonakalisa okuthile malunga nawe, njengokuthi "umhlobo wam uyandizonda," unokucinga ukuba, "umhlobo wam kufuneka abe matasa kakhulu."
Amanye amacebo aluncedo ekulawuleni ukuzibandakanya kubandakanywa ukwamkelwa nokuxazulula iingxaki. Ngokwahlukileyo, izicwangciso ezingabhaliyo abantu abazisebenzisayo ziquka ukuphepha, ukuphazamiseka, ukunyanzeliswa, nokukhathazeka.
Iimfanelo zozimeleyo
Izibonelelo zokuzilawula zizininzi. Ngokubanzi, abantu abakwaziyo ukuzilawula bavame ukubona okulungileyo kwabanye, bajonga imingeni njengamathuba, bahlale beqhagamshelwano oluvulekileyo, bacacile ngeenjongo zabo, benze ngokuhambelana nemilinganiselo yabo, baqhube phambili, baqhubeke amaxesha anzima, uhlale uguquguquka kwaye ulungelelanise kwiimeko, uthathe ulawulo lweemeko xa kuyimfuneko, kwaye unokuzinqabisa xa udidekile kwaye ujabule xa uvakalelwa phantsi.
Ukubeka kwiZenzo
Cinga ukuba ucinga ukuba kulungile ukuba ulungele ukuzilawula, kodwa awukwazi ukuba uphucula njani izakhono zakho.
Kubantwana, abazali banokukunceda ukuphuhlisa umgaqo-nkqubo ngokwasemzimbeni (umzekelo, setha ixesha lokutya, ube neendlela zokuziphatha kumsebenzi ngamnye). Iindlela zokunceda abantwana bafunde oko balindele, oko kwenza kube lula ukuba bazive bekhululekile. Xa abantwana besenza ngeendlela ezingabonakali ukuzimela, bangazihoxisi izicelo zabo, njengokuba benza ukulinda xa bephazamisa ingxoxo.
Njengomntu omdala, isinyathelo sokuqala ukuzisebenzisa ukulawula ukuzimela kukubona ukuba wonk 'ubani unokhetho kwiendlela zokusabela kwiimeko. Nangona uvakalelwa kukuba ubomi bujongene nesandla esingalunganga, akusona isandla osijongene nayo, kodwa ukuba usabela njani kulo nto ibaluleke kakhulu. Ufunda njani lo buchule bokuzilawula?
Qaphela ukuba kuzo zonke iinkalo unamathuba amathathu: indlela, ukuphepha nokuhlaselwa. Nangona ivakalelwa kukuba ukhetho lwakho lokuziphatha alukho kolawulo lwakho, akunjalo. Iimvakalelo zakho zinokushukumisela ngakumbi kwindlela enye, kodwa uninzi kunezo zivakalelo.
Isinyathelo sesibini kukuba uqaphele iimvakalelo zakho ezide. Ngaba uziva ubalekela kwimeko enzima? Ngaba uzive uthanda ukutshitshiswa ngumntu owenze kakubi? Jonga umzimba wakho ukuba ufumane iinkcazo malunga nendlela ozivakalelwa ngayo xa kungekho ngokucacileyo kuwe. Ngokomzekelo, intliziyo eyandayo ngokukhawuleza ingabonakalisa ukuba ungena kwimeko yokufutheka okanye ukuhlaselwa kwexhala.
Qala ukubuyisela ibhalansi ngokugxininisa kwiimpawu zakho ezigxininisekile, kunokuba zivelele iimvakalelo ezidlulileyo. Khangela ngaphaya kwaloo nto iphazamisekile emzuzwana kumfanekiso omkhulu. Emva koko, yenza ngendlela ehambelana nokuzilawula.
ILizwi
Emva kokuba ufundile lo msebenzi olinganiselayo wokulinganisela, uza kuqala ukuzilawula ngokwakho rhoqo, kwaye iya kuba yindlela yokuphila kuwe. Ukuphuhlisa izakhono zokuzilawula kuyakuphucula ukuqina kwakho kunye nokukwazi ukujamelana neemeko ezinzima ebomini. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba ufumanisa ukuba awukwazi ukuzifundisa ukuzilawula, cinga ukuvakashela uqeqesho lwezempilo yengqondo . Ixesha lingaba luncedo ukuphumeza izicwangciso ezithile zesimo sakho.
> Imithombo:
> Urhulumente wase-Ontario, Canada. Ukucinga Ngokuzilawulayo nokuPhila.
> Leyland A, uRowse G, uEmerson LM. Imiphumo yokuvavanya yokukhumbuza ingqondo ngokuzilawula: Ukuphononongwa kwenkqubo kunye nokuhlaziywa kwemeta. Umoya . NgoMatshi 2018. Ithenda: 10.1037 / emo0000425
> Brockman R, Ciarrochi J, Parker P, iKashdan T. Izicwangciso zolawulo lweemvakalelo ebomini bemihla ngemihla: ukucinga, ukucinga kwakhona kunye nokunyanzeliswa kwemizwelo. Cogn Behav Ther . 2017; 46 (2): 91-113. i-doi: 10.1080 / 16506073.2016.1218926
> Naragon-Gainey K, McMahon TP, Chacko TP. Isakhiwo sesicwangciso solawulo-mvakalelo esifanayo: Ukuhlolwa kweemeta-analytical. Psychol Bull . 2017; 143 (4): 384-427. i-doi: 10.1037 / bul0000093
> Yunivesithi yasePittsburgh. Ukuzilawula .