Ukwesaba ubudlelwane obusondeleyo budibanisa kakhulu kunye noyiko lobuthathaka. Nangona kunjalo, abantu abaninzi, le micimbi mibini iyahlukana. Unokuba ukhululekile ukuba ube ngumngcipheko, ubonise ubunyani bakho bokwenene kwihlabathi okanye ubuncinci kubahlobo kunye nezihlobo ezithembekileyo. Nangona kunjalo unokuba unxungule xa uvakalelwa kukuba ubuhlobo buba sisondele okanye buhlobo. Uloyiko lobuthathaka , ngoko, lunokuchazwa ngokugqithisileyo njengoloyiko lokubonakalisa ukunyaniseka kwakho, ngoxa ukwesaba ulwalamano luloyiko lokwabelana ngolwalamano olunzulu nomnye umntu.
Ukuxothwa nokuxhatshazwa
Kwabaninzi abagulayo, ukwesaba ulwalamano luxhomekeke kwiintlanzi ezibabili zokushiya nokuchithwa. Abo basaba ukulahlelwa bayaxhalabisa ukuba iqabane labo liya kuhamba, ngoxa abo besoyika ukuxhamla ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa ngokwabo. Abantu abaninzi banenkxalabo bobabini besaba.
Uloyiko lokushiya kunye nokuqhwaba luyintliziyo yabaninzi, nangona kungengabo bonke, ubudlelwane obulunga. Ezi nkxalabo zivame ukugxila kumava adlulileyo ebuntwaneni, kunokuba ulwalamano lwabantu abadala nalapha lukhulile. Nangona uloyiko luhluke kakhulu kumnye nomnye, zombini izizathu zokuziphatha ezitshintshileyo iqabane kunye kwaye ziphinde zitshintshe kwakhona. Ezi ziphatha zidala ukudibanisa kwaye zinceda ukutshabalalisa ubudlelwane obusondeleyo.
Okumangalisa kukuba, abo bayesabayo ukulahlwa, banokuba baninzi ukushiya ubudlelwane kunabo abanoyikiyo.
Nangona kunjalo, xa ulwalamano luye lwahlukana, abo banokwesaba ukuguquka banokuvalelwa kukuba balahliwe.
IPhobia yeNtlalo
Ezinye iingcali zibeka ukwesaba ulwalamano olunjenge-subset ye-social phobia okanye i-disorder disorder disorder. Abantu abamoyikayo abanye ngokuqhelekileyo banokuba banamahloni ekwenzeni ubudlelwane obusondelene nabo.
Nangona kunjalo, ukwesaba ubudlelwane obusondeleyo kungabikho nxamnye naluphi na uhlobo lokuxhalaba kwentlalo . Abanye abantu bahlala bekhululekile kwiimeko zentlalontle, abaqhagamshelana nabaqhelana nabo kunye nabezindaba zoluntu "abahlobo" kumakhulu, kodwa abanalo ulwalamano olusondeleyo kubo bonke.
Ukulwa neloyiko lokusondelana
Ingaba uloyiko lolwalamano olusondeleyo lusekelwe ekubeni uloyiko lokulahla, ukwesaba ukutshatyalaliswa, okanye enye into epheleleyo, inokubangela ukuphazamisa ubudlelwane obunothando nolunengxaki. Esinye seziqhosha ezisisiseko zokulwa nokuloyiko ukuzimisela ukwamkela ukungaqiniseki. Akukho ziqinisekiso ebomini okanye ngobudlelwano boluntu. Nonke inxibelelwano nomnye umntu ekugqibeleni igqiba. Nangona kunjalo ubudlelwane boluntu luyinjongo yokuqhuba ngokubakho yobomi babantu. Abo basaba ukulwa nobudlelwane obusondelene nabo ekugqibeleni bayesaba imiphumo yobudlelwane obunzima.
Ukuze ukwazi ukulwa ngokukhawuleza ukwesaba ulwalamano, kufuneka uqale ukhululekile kuwe. Ukuba uyayazi kwaye uyamkela ixabiso lakho kwaye unelungelo njengomntu, ngoko uyazi ukuba ukugatywa akusiyo isiphelo sehlabathi. Uyakwazi ukubeka imida efanelekileyo ukuze ugweme ukutshatyalaliswa kunye nokujongana nokulahlwa xa kufike.
Unyango
Isikhokelo sobugcisa sisoloko sifunwa, ingakumbi ukuba ukwesaba ulwalamano lususelwa kwiziganeko ezidlulileyo.
Khetha umgqirha wakho ngokucophelela, njengentsebenziswano yokwelapha , ukuhlonelana kunye nokuthembela kubalulekile kumsebenzi wokuphilisa. Umgqirha wakho uza kukunceda ukuba uhambelane nazo naziphi na iziganeko ezidlulileyo okanye ezikhoyo eziye zityhalela imeko kwaye zikuncede wenze icebo lamanyathelo amancinci ukuze usebenze ngokuthe ngcembe ngoloyiko lwakho.
Umthombo:
Umbutho wezeMpilo waseMerika. (1994). Incwadana yokuxilonga kunye neenkcukacha zeengxaki zengqondo (4 Ed.) . Washington, DC: Umbhali.