I-BDSM, isiqu esithi "ubugqila, ukuziphatha / ukulawula, ukungeniswa, kunye ne-sadomasochism" kudla ngokungaqondwa luluntu jikelele. Enye yezona ngcamango eziqhelekanga kukuba iBDSM inobungozi, ingenangqiqo kunye nokuxhaphaza. Nangona kunjalo, xa kuqhutywe kakuhle, i-BDSM ihluke kakhulu kunokusetyenziswa kakubi komlingane.
1 - Yintoni i-BDSM?
Kwiminyaka emininzi, iingcali zeBDSM zigcinwe ukuba ikink ikhuselekile, iyanelisayo, kwaye iyakuthintela ngokufanelekileyo iminqweno yesondo kunye nenhlalakahle yabo. Ngaphezulu kweminyaka embalwa edlulileyo, isayensi iye yaqinisekisa ezi zibango. Uphononongo olutsha luye lwafumanisa uncedo lwezempilo lweBDSM . Abaphandi baye bafumanisa ukuba abo baqhuba imisebenzi ye-BDSM banempilo engcono yengqondo, baneliseke ngakumbi kwezobudlelwane babo, kunye noxinzelelo oluncinci kunezinye zabo zesini.
Abo abangaqhelekanga nge-BDSM bamangaliswa ngophando olutsha kwiYunivesithi yaseMntla Illinois, eyabonisa ukuba abo babandakanyekayo kwi-BDSM banemvume-xa becala xa kuthengiswa kwizenzo zesondo kwaye kuncinci ukuba bahambisane neziphathamandla ezinxulumene neenkcubeko zokudlwengula. Abasebenzi be-BDSM babonise "amanqanaba aphantsi kakhulu okuziphatha okubi ngokwesini, ukudlwengulwa kwamatyala, kunye nokuxhatshazwa ngamatyala." Ngamanye amazwi, bahlonipha imida yomlingane babo kwaye abanako ukuwela imida yokhuseleko lwabo.
Nangona uphando lubonisa ukuba i-BDSM icacile ukuba inezinzuzo ezilungileyo, abaninzi abakhangela ezi ziphatha kakubi ezivela ngaphandle baqonda le ndlela yokuziphatha ngokwesondo njengento ehlazolayo, ephazamisayo, nangaphandle kokulawula. Ukuziphatha kakubi akufuneki kube yinxalenye ye-BDSM eqinile, kodwa singayichazela njani umahluko?
2 - Ukwahlukana kwemvume ye-BDSM kwi-Abuse
Imvume yintloko yekona yonke imisebenzi ye-BDSM, kwaye yenye yezona zinto eziphambili ezihlukanayo nokusetyenziswa kakubi. Kulula nje, i-BDSM inesiqinisekiso. U ku xhatshazwa .
Ngaphambi kombono ngamnye we-BDSM, abathathi-nxaxheba bathetha kwaye bathetha ngokuthandayo, iiminqweno kunye nemingcele. Oku kuthetha ukuba bonke ababandakanyekayo kwisenzo sesini esivumelanisiweyo babeka iinjongo ezithile ekunqumeni oko bafuna ukuphuma kwiseseshoni-kokubili ngokomzwelo nangokwenyama. Baxubusha nento ebizwa ngokuthi "imida enzima kwaye ilula." Imida engqongqo yinto ongeke uyenze kuyo, ngoxa imida engqongileyo yinto ongayenza ngayo xa kunye nexesha livakalelwa kakuhle. Ukudlala nemida yemida elula idinga uthethwano olunzulu ngaphambi kokuqala iseshoni.
Iingxoxo zengaphambili zingaphatha iindidi ezininzi. Ngamanye amaxesha abathathi-nxaxheba babhala isivumelwano esichaza oko kuvumelekileyo kwaye kuvunyelwe. Abanye basebenzise uluhlu olulula lwemisebenzi. Baya kuxubusha nganye into nganye, ebonisa ukuba ngumnqweno okanye umda. Abanye bafumana ingxoxo enzulu malunga nemida yabo.
I-3-BDSM ikhuselekile, i-Sane, kunye ne-Consensual
Abo babandakanyekayo kwi-BDSM bahlala besetyenziselwa ibinzana elithi "khuselekile, baxhamle, kwaye bavumelane" ukuchaza uhlobo lwabo lolwabelana ngesondo. Nayiphi na umdlalo ochazwa ngokuthi "kink" kodwa engabandakanyeli ukuvunyelwana okukhuselekileyo, ukuziphatha kunye nokuhlaziywa kwezinto ezinokubambisana kunokunyaniseka.
Ukhuseleko kuthetha abathathi-nxaxheba bathathe amanyathelo okunciphisa izingozi. Kwakhona kuthetha ukuba abathathi-nxaxheba bayakwazi malunga nezixhobo kunye nezixhobo ezisetyenzisiweyo, ezinokuphelisa ukwesaba okungafunekiyo nokuziphatha okuyingozi.
U-Sane ubonisa ukuba abo babandakanyekayo basesidlangalaleni esibavumela ukuba bahlukane nombono ongokoqobo. Oku kuthetha ukuzinza; iingqondo kunye nokuziphatha akuphelelwa yimpembelelo yezidakisi. Ekugqibeleni, kubonisa ukuphepha ekubeni ungalindelekanga ukuba umlingane wakho ulindele.
I-Consent ithetha ukuba onke amaqela axubushe kwaye avumelane nemida. Ngokulinganayo kubalulekile, imvume kufuneka iqhubeke. Ngamanye amagama, ukuba umntu unqwenela ukutshintsha ingqondo yabo malunga nayiphi na imisebenzi ngexesha lokudlala banokuphinda baxoxisane naliphi na ixesha.
4 - Unxibelelwano luyintloko
Ukuqhagamshelana okucacileyo kuyimfuneko yokwenza i-BDSM enempilo. Ii-Safewords zihamba ngokuqhelekileyo kulolu hlobo lokudlala kunye nento ebalulekileyo eyahlula i-BDSM ekuxhatshazweni. I-safeword ligama okanye ibinzana ebonisa ukuba omnye wabadlali unqwenela ukuthatha ikhefu okanye ukuyeka ngokupheleleyo. Umzekelo we-safeword unokuthi ube "obomvu," "ibhanana" okanye nayiphi na into ongeke uyitsho ngexesha lesondo okanye kumxholo wesiganeko. Ukongezelela, ukuba ukuthobela kuyagqitywa okanye ukuva kweDominant kuphazamiseke, kunokusetyenziswa isalathisi ekhuselekileyo endaweni yoko. Oku kungaba ngumqondiso okanye into ekuzithobekileyo ephethe esandleni sayo kunye nehla ebonisa ukuba unqwenela ukuyeka ixesha.
5 - Ulwahlulo olubalulekileyo phakathi koNyango kunye ne-BDSM
Ukudlala kweKinky kunokubandakanya izinto ezifana nokujeziswa, ukuthotywa, kunye neendwangu. Oku kungabonakala kukuxhatshazwa kumntu ongaphandle, okwenza kube nzima ukuchazela umahluko phakathi kwezi zibini. Nangona kunjalo, xa kuthelekiswa ngokubhekiselele kwi-BDSM, sinokubona ukungafani.
- Iziganeko ezingabikhoyo zivela kwiimeko zokulawula. Kwi-BDSM enempilo, i-Dominist ayinakuyenza ngokukhawuleza ingqumbo. Iimpawu zicetywayo ngaphambili, zicingwe, kwaye zinomdla omkhulu wokuzithobela engqondweni.
- Iziganeko ezikhohlakeleyo ziphela ngokuphelelwa yimvakalelo emibi. Isimo se-BDSM senzelwe ukushiya abathathi-nxaxheba bazive benelisekile kwaye banelisekile xa iphelile. Inembopheleleko ekugqibeleni ukunikela emva kokunyamekela xa iseshoni iphelile ukuqinisekisa ukuba ukuthobela kuyonwabile, kukhuselekile kwaye kukhuselekile. Ngokwahlukileyo, zombini ithagethi kunye nomxhaphazi baziva bebuhlungu, bekrakra, okanye batloni emva kwesiganeko esixhaphazayo.
Iziganeko ezikhohlakeleyo zihlala zihamba kunye nokusetyenziswa kakubi kweziyobisi okanye ukuphazamiseka ngokomzimba. Kwi-BDSM enempilo, abadlali bazama ukunciphisa nantoni na enokuchaphazela isigwebo sabo ngexesha lokudlala-kuquka ukusetyenziswa kweziyobisi okanye utywala.
6 - Ukusetyenziswa kakubi kwiBDSM
Nangona uphando lwangoku lufumene abo babandakanyekayo kwi-BDSM abanako ukunyamezela iintlobo ezithile zokusetyenziswa gadalala, kusenokwenzeka. Iifayile ezibomvu ezingabonakaliyo kwi-BDSM ubudlelwane okanye imeko zifana nezo zifumaneka kwezinye iintlobo zobudlelwane. Ezinye izilumkiso ziquka:
- ukungayihoyi imida yesondo
- ukusetyenziswa kakubi komlomo okanye ukungaxhatshazwisi ngomlomo
- ukuziphatha okulawulayo, kubandakanywa umona ogqithiseleyo
- ukungaguquki kwemimoya embi
- ukuhlukunyezwa kwesiyobisi
- ukusetyenziswa kweziqulatho kunye nokwesaba ukulawula ixhoba
- ukuhlukanisa ixhoba kwiintsapho kunye nabahlobo
- imbali yokuziphatha kakubi kunye noonxibelelwano abasondeleyo
Ukuba uyayibona le okanye ezinye iimpawu zokusetyenziswa gadalala kwiintlanganiso zakho zeBDSM, fumana ngaphandle uncedo. Ukuba ukusetyenziswa gadalala kwenzeka kumcimbi we-BDSM kawonkewonke, khangela i-Monitored or Dungeon Monitor (DM). Ukudlala kwangasese kunye neqabane elitsha, qinisekisa ukubeka umnxeba okhuselekileyo nomhlobo. Kwakhona, akuqhelekanga ukuba abo babandakanyekayo kwiindawo zeBDSM ukuba bacele iingxelo ezivela kumalingani angaphambili.
Ukuba ulwaphulo-mthetho lwenzeka kubudlelwane bakho obuqhubekayo be-BDSM, unokucebisa iinkonzo ze-kink-friendly therapist, ukuxhaswa koxhatshazo lwe-hotline okanye inkonzo. Ukuba ufumana ingozi esheshayo, qhagamshelana namapolisa.
U-Sunny Megatron ngumninimzi kunye nomvelisi olawulayo wezoSondo kunye no-Sunny Megatron kwi-Showtime. Kananjalo ungumdlali we-BDSM wokuphila, ulwabelana ngesondo kunye nomqeqeshi wekink, kunye nomlobi / ulwalamano lobudlelwane.