Ukuxhalaba kwezenhlalakahle kunye nokuzibandakanya akuzona izinto ezifanayo, kungakhathaliseki ukuba uluvo oluninzi lwabantu luyakwenza ukuba ucinge njalo.
Ulwahlulo phakathi kwe-Introversion ne-Social Concern
Abantu abaxhalabileyo kwintlalo banokwesaba iimeko zentlalo kunye nokusebenza kweentsuku okanye iiveki ngaphambi kokuba zenzeke, ziphephe le meko ngendlela ephazamisa ubomi bemihla ngemihla (ucinge ukwesaba ukuthenga ukutya, ukuya kwiklasi okanye ukuya ngaphandle kwikhaya), kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo baneengcamango ezingekhoyo (kwimigqaliselo yecala, iingcamango) malunga nabo kunye namakhono abo okuhamba ngehlabathi lezentlalo.
Ngokwahlukileyo, inkcazo yokungenisekanga ayinanto yokwenza uxhalaba, ukwesaba, okanye ukuzingca . Ama-Introverts angaba nethemba kwiindlela zabo ezizithulekileyo nezisezantsi. Zingakwazi ukugqithiswa lula ngokukhutshwa kwangaphandle, ezinokubangela ukuba baphumelele kwiimeko zentlalo-kodwa akufanele baphumelele kwindawo yokuhlambela baze bazibethe ngenxa yazo zonke izinto ezingekho phantsi kweentlalo. Kunoko, basenokubaleka ukuze bafunde incwadi enhle, babe yedwa kunye neengcamango zabo, okanye baneliseke ngokuthula.
Kunomdla, nangona kunjalo, xa uxinzelelo lwezenhlalakahle kunye nolwazi lwentlalo lugqithisa.
I-Introversion ne-Social Concern
Khawucinge ngomzuzwana ukuba kungakhathaliseki ukuba uzama nzima kangakanani, awukwazi ukuzenza ufune ukutya okuthethile. Emva koko, cinga ukuba kwenzeka ukuba uphelelwe ukutya. Awuxhatshazwa kakhulu kukuba awukwazi ukutya ukutya kuba naliphi na ixesha olidlile, awuzange ujabule.
Le nto yinto efana ngayo nalabo baqala ukuxhalabisa.
Abafuni ngokukhethekileyo ukuba ubomi beqela, ibhentshi yentlalontle, okanye ubusuku obumnyama. Kananjalo banokukhetha umsebenzi obavumela ukuba bahlale ngokuthula yonke imini becinga iingxaki ezinzulu zobomi kunokuba baxhumane nabathengi, banikele iintetho, okanye baphathe abanye.
Ngexesha elifanayo, umnqweno wabo wendalo wokuchitha ixesha yodwa kwenza kube nzima kakhulu ukuziveza kwiimeko ezenza uxhalabe. Umbuzo-ngaba unomsebenzi?
Isizathu sokutshintsha
Ngaba kubalulekile ukuba uhlala emqolombeni kwaye ungashiyi ukuba unomxholo ongaphakathi ngaphakathi emqolombeni kunokuba ungayi ngaphandle?
USusan Cain, umbhali wencwadi ethi "Quiet" inokuthi sifanele sikhulise ama-introverts njengokuba kunjalo kwaye sibonelele ngeendawo ezixhasa isikolo kunye nomsebenzi.
Kwiinkcubeko zaseMpuma, xa kuthelekiswa neenkcubeko zaseNtshona, ixabiso elibekwe kwizinto zobuntu ezingabonakaliyo, kwaye ukuxolelana akunjalo. Ngaba silindele ukuba izethulo zethu ezixhalabileyo zentlalo zikwazi ukulinganisa nekcubeko elingafuni ukuguqulela ukuba liphumelele njengabantu ngabanye?
Ukujamelana ne-Introversion / Ukuxhalabisa ngeNtlalo
Ukuba siphucula iindawo ezibini ze-equation, kunokuba kulula ukuza nempendulo kule nqanawa. Ngenxa yokuba siyazi into efunekayo ukuze uqalise kunye nokufunekayo ukuxhalaba kwentlalo.
Kubukeka ngathi oku.
I- introvert ifuna ixesha elide ukusuka kwintlalo yoluntu ukwenzela ukufumana amandla. Asinasiphoso sokusasaza ngokufuna ixesha elidlulileyo kuba liqondwa ukuba libonise inxalenye ebalulekileyo yokwenza izidalwa.
Njengoko uKayin uchaza ngokubhekiselele kuphando lwakhe, ama-introverts afumana amaqhinga ngakumbi, yingakho afuna ukuthatha ikhefu.
Umntu onenkxalabo yokuxhalaba kwintlalo , ngakolunye uhlangothi, akafanele 'aphunyuke' kwiimeko zentlalo ngendlela efanayo nomntu onokuqala, kuba xa uxhalaba emva kokushiya imeko engxaki, loo mntu ukholelwa ukuba isisombululo kuphela sokunyuka ukuxhalaba kukuphepha .
Kodwa-ngaba ukugqitywa kwe-introversion ekugqibeleni kuya kuncipha xa ehlala nje kwimeko eninzi ngokwaneleyo? Kubonakala ukuba, indlela yakhe yokuziphatha yayiza kuhlahloka kwaye ukusebenza kwakhe kwehla.
Ngoko ke, ukuba unesibini kunye noluntu uxhalabile, uhlala kwiimeko zentlalontle kunye nokusebenza ixesha elide ukwenzela ukuba ukuxhalabisa uxhaphaza kunokube kukuhle ekuphuculeni ukuxhalaba kwakho kwintlalo, kodwa kuthiwani ngoloo nto ingenayo into engenazo?
Ukuba ufika kwinqanaba lokuba ukunika intetho phambi koontanga bakho akushiyi izandla zakho zithuthumela, umlomo owomileyo, nentliziyo igxotha ngaphandle kwesifuba sakho-kodwa uvakalelwa ngengqondo emva kwayo yonke intshumayelo oyinikezelayo-uyenzile ? Ngaba unako ukhululekile kwi-asstage njengomntu onokwenziwa kwentsholongwane ebenayo efuna ukuvakalelwa kuyo yonke into?
Iindlela zokuSebenza kunye noVikezelo / uLuntu lokuxhalabisa
Enyanisweni, abadlali abaninzi bathi bangeniso, njengoJulia Roberts noRobert Deniro; oko akuthethi ukuba nabo banenkxalabo emphakathini, kodwa kunokuba bakhetha ixesha elilodwa kwaye becinga ngokucokisekileyo ingxoxo.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kukho abantu abadumileyo abangenazizathu zokungena kwilolu hlobo lomntu obesingeniswayo kunye noluntu oluxhalabileyo. Umbuzo uba ngumntu, kuba kutheni bakhetha ukukhanya xa ukukhanya kuphazamisa amehlo abo?
UZack Greinke ngumzekelo omnye; umdlali webhola owaziyo ukuba ucinga kakhulu kwaye uye wafumanisa ukuba unengxaki yokuxhalabisa abantu:
"I-Baseball iyimidlalo apho ibudenge kunye nokugcina izinto ezilula kakhulu ngamaxesha amaninzi yindlela efanelekileyo yokwenza izinto ... kwakukho abafana endidlalayo nabangenangqondo kangangokuthi bahle kakhulu kuba ingqondo yabo ayifumaneki indlela. "
Ukuchaza iinjongo zokuchaza utyando
Impendulo mhlawumbi ixhomekeke ekuchazeni iinjongo zobomi bakho, amaphupha, iimfuno, iiminqweno-kwaye uzimisele ukuba ufuna ukwenzani ukuze ufezekise. UGrinke wayefuna ukuba ngumdlali wezemidlalo we-baseball naphezu kokungeniswa kwakhe kunye nokukhathazeka kwentlalo.
Ngaba ufuna into eninzi ukuze usebenze ngokumelene nemvelo yakho yendalo ukuze uyifumane? Ukuba impendulo nguwewe, ke unakho "ukuba kutheni" ukuba uchaze umquzulwano obonakalayo phakathi kwendawo yokuthuthuzela kunye nalapho ukhetha ukuzibeka khona.
Ukubuyela kumzekelo wokuphepha / ukukhusela, ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuba ucelomngeni uxhalaba lwakho loluntu ngelixa uhlonipha uhlobo lwakho lwangaphambili? Ingaba ukhetho olukhoyo lwangoku luqwalasela oku? Okanye ngaba "uhlobo olulinganayo-olulodwa-konke" kwindlela yokhathazeka kwexhala loluntu, nokuba unobungozi bemvelo (ukunciphisa ingxaki yokuxhalaba) kuya kukudanisa kumaqela aneentlobo zesikhalalo ekhanda lakho okanye uhlale ethulululeni xa uziva ulile.
Mhlawumbi oku kubonakaliswa ngoloyiko lolokuba sibhala?
Ukoyika amaHerarchies Aphononongwa kwakhona
Ukuba uye wafunda incwadi yokuncedisa ukukhathazeka kweentlalo , uya kukwazi ukuba ukwesaba ulawulo lwabafundi luluhlu lwezinto ezili-10 okanye "ezinkwantya", eziqhubela phambili ekukhathazeni okungenani ubuninzi obubangele ukukhathazeka, okufuneka usebenze, mhlawumbi kwi-vivo (ebomini bokwenene) okanye kwiingcamango zakho, mhlawumbi ngokwakho okanye ngoncedo lomphengululi, de ube nakho ukufumana isiganeko ngasinye ngaphandle kokufumana uxinzelelo okanye ukuxhalabisa.
Ngaba uloyiko loloyiko lwama-introverts kunye ne-extroverts lubonakala lufana okanye luhluke? Ngaba sonke senyukela kwinqanaba elifanayo kwimpumelelo? Uchaza ntoni impumelelo?
Ukuchaza iinjongo: Umsebenzi wokuSebenza ekhaya
Njengomsebenzi ekuchazeni iinjongo zakho, phendula le mibuzo ukuze uqinisekise oko ufuna ngokwenene ukuphumeza unyango lweengxaki zokuxhalabisa abantu:
1. Ngaba uzijonga njengokuba ungeniswe, udibene, okanye uphakathi?
2. Ziziphi iiphupha, iinjongo, iimfuno, kunye nethemba xa ufika kubomi bakho?
3. Ziziphi iiphupha, iinjongo, iimfuno, kunye nethemba xa kufike kumsebenzi wakho?
4. Ngaba le mi sebenzi kunye neenjongo zokuphila zihambelana nomgangatho wakho wendalo wokuqalisa / ukuxubusha?
Oko uza kuphawula ngalunye kwezi ngongoma kukuba akukho nto enokuyenza ngayo ngokuxhalabisa kwintlalo-eyinikwe. Ukuba siqala ngoluvo lokuba wonke umntu ongena kunyango unomgangatho othile wokungahambi kakuhle ngenxa yokuxhalaba kwentlalo, isinyathelo esilandelayo simele senze ulungelelaniso kwinqanaba lomntu wokungeniswa / ukuxubusha. Kwaye oko akufuneki kube nzima, kungabandakanya nje ukutywala okumbalwa.
Imizekelo yeNyango yokuThengiswa
Makhe sibone imizekelo embalwa yokucinga:
1) Khawucinge ukuba uzijonga njengomntu onokuzithumela, ophupha ixesha lokuthetha kunye nabahlobo abasondeleyo kunye nomsebenzi njengomgcini weemyuziyamu obandakanya umsebenzi oqhelanisiweyo kunye nokusebenzisana koluntu.
2) Khawucinge ukuba ungumntu ogqithiseleyo obanjwe kukukhathazeka kwentlalo. Uphupha lokwenza umdlalo we-stand-up comedy kodwa uzive ulungelelaniso rhoqo xa uhamba kwisigaba. Ukhuthazwe sisihlwele kodwa uxhalaba lwakho lwentlalo lukubambe.
Njengoko uyakubona, isicwangciso sokunyangwa kwamayeza sichaphazeleka kakhulu ukuba uyayifaka okanye uyaphuma. Umntu ngomzekelo omnye uya kuba noloyiko lolawulo olugciniweyo oluzaliswe ngentsebenziswano yoluntu ngelixa umntu ngomzekelo wesibini uza kusebenza ngokusebenzisa ukwesaba kokusebenza.
Ngamanye amazwi, unyango lwexhala luntlalo lunga (kunye kwaye lufanele) lulungele kwiimeko zakho ezizodwa.
Iindlela eziqhelekileyo
Le ngxoxo, ngokuqinisekileyo, ishiya unyango lwamachiza kunye nolunye unyango oluthile lwezobuchule luya kufana nokuphikisana iingcamango ezingenangqondo, eziza kusebenza ngokufanayo kuzo zombini izethulo kunye nokuxhamla.
Ngoko umbuzo uhleli: Ukuba ufumene ugcwala uxhalabuntlalo loluntu kwiimeko zentlalo njengengeniso-ngaba uyabaleka ukuze uzukise ubungqina bakho okanye uhlale ucelomngeni lwakho uxhalaba?
Inyaniso, usenokungayinakulibala ixesha lakho lokuqala, nje ixesha elide lokwakha ukuzithemba olufunekayo ukunqoba ukuxhalaba kwakho kwentlalo. Emva koko unokukwazi ukubuyela kwikona yakho encinane yehlabathi kwaye ujabulele ukuthula.
Umzabalazo wakho unokuba mkhulu kunabo abaqhamukayo abaya kubacelisa ukwesaba kwabo imihla ngemihla kuba banandipha ukuhlala nabantu abakhulu. Ngexesha elifanayo, khumbula ukuba bajongene neengxabano zabo, behlala kunye neendawo ezimbini ezingafaniyo ezimele zichaswe rhoqo.
Ubuncinane xa ushiya iplanga ngenxa yokuxhalaba kwakho kwentlalo, u-introversion uza kukubulela.
Imithombo:
UKayin, S. Quiet: Amandla amaNgqungquthela kwiLizwe elingenakuyeka ukuthetha. IYew York: Abapapashi beNdlela.
U-Olsen Laney, uMnu I-Introvert Advantage: Abantu abanomntu onokuthi bangaphila kwiLizwe elide. ENew York: Umsebenzi wokushicilela.
Yahoo Sports. UZack Greinke uthi 'Abaphukuphuli' Abadlali benza ngcono i-Baseball Players.