Nazi ezinye iimpendulo kwimibandela evame ukubuzwa malunga nomona
Ingaba ungumlingani onomona okanye nokuba umlingani wakho ungumona, umona ongenangqondo ungagqithisa umtshato wakho. Nazi iimpendulo kwiimbuzo rhoqo malunga nomona kunye nezinto onokuzenza ukuze unqobe umona emtshatweni wakho.
Yintoni inomona?
A. "Inzondelelo yempendulo kwindlela esicatshulwa ngayo-eyinyani okanye eyicatshangelwayo - ubuhlobo obuxabisekileyo okanye umgangatho wayo.
Uphononongo olwenziwa ngamazwe ngomcebisi womtshato lubonisa ukuba umona unengxaki kwisithathu kwisibini sezo zibini eziza kumathambo omtshato. "AM Pines, CF Bowes," Inzondelelo Yothando: Indlela Yokuqaphela Ukuba Kukhanyeka Kuphi Indlela Yokunyamezela " I-Psychology namhlanje , (1992).
"Umona omncinci uyakhuthaza kwaye usenokuba uhlelwe kuthi, kuqheleke kakhulu." Uninzi lomona luyikrakra kwaye luye lwaqhubela abantu kwindlela eyingozi kakhulu. Akukho sizathu sokukholelwa ukuba umona uya kuphucula ngexesha okanye umtshato ... Ngenxa yokuba umona uhambela ngqo kwimpembelelo yawo kwaye iingcambu zawo zingqongqo, akuyinto engayixothwa yiyo inqweno yokucinga. " I-Hara Estroff Marano, "Iseluleko: Inkunzi Yenzondelelo" kwi- Psychology Today , (2004).
Ngaba Unomona Ngokwemvelo?
A. "Ebudlelwaneni apho iimvakalelo zesikhwele zibuhlungu kwaye zihlandlo zithile, likhumbuza isibini esingazange sithandane.Iyakhuthaza imibhangqwana ukuba ihlonelane kwaye yenza umgudu wokuqinisekisa ukuba omnye umntu uziva exabisekileyo ...
Inzondelelo iphakamisa iimvakalelo, yenza uthando luve lukhulu kwaye isondo sibe nesithandwa. Kwizinto ezincinci, ukulawulwa kwamanqanaba, umona ungaba namandla ekudlelaneni. Kodwa xa kunzima okanye kungenangqiqo, ibali lihluke kakhulu ... Ukhwele lwangaphambili lusemvelo kwaye lugcina ubudlelwane buphila, kodwa xa luba lukhuni okanye lungacatshulwa lunokulimaza ubuhlobo. "UPaula Hall," Ukuqonda Umona "kwi-BBC .co.uk
Abantu Abanobubele Benzani?
A. Abantu abanenzondelelo bafumana ubuninzi beemvakalelo kuquka ukwesaba, umsindo, ukuthotywa, ukuhluleka, ukuzivala, ukukhathazeka, ukukrakra, intlungu, ukukhathazeka, umona, ukudabuka, ukungathandabuzeki, intlungu, kunye novelwano.
"Ukuba nomona kusenza sibe phantsi kwengqondo yokudimazeka nokudanazeka, kusenza sibe nexhalaba, sinesidima esinokuthi singakwazi ukuxelela malunga nokuba ngabahlobo bethu abasemgangathweni okanye singakwazi ukuyiquka ngaphakathi kwethu. ukuphazamiseka kobuhlungu obukhethekileyo kwaye ukuba kuvunyelwe ukukhula kungakhange kugqitywe ngaphaya kwemida, isebenza njengetyhefu epholileyo kwimpilo yethu. " Gyan Rajhans.
Kutheni Abantu Banobubele?
A. Ukhwele lunokubangelwa ezininzi izinto.
- Ukulindela okungenangqondo ngomtshato ngokubanzi.
- Ukulindela okungenangqondo malunga nolwalamano lwakho nomlingane wakho.
- Ingqiqo engafanelekanga yobunini bomlingane wakho.
- Amava ahlaseleyo okulahla ngexesha elidlulileyo.
- Ukuziphatha okungekho nto.
- U khu seleko.
- Uloyiko lokushiywa okanye ukhatyathwa.
- Ukoyika ukulahlekelwa ngumntu okanye into ebalulekileyo kubo.
- Ubutyebi obukhulu.
- Umnqweno wokulawula.
Ziziphi iziphumo zobukhwele obungavuthiyo emtshatweni?
A. "Kwalabo abanomona ongaqhelekanga, umvakalelo ubeka isiprofeto esizizalisayo.
Njengoko abahlobo babo bazama ukuwaphepha, ukwesaba kwabo okugqithiseleyo ukulahlekelwa uthando kunye nentlonipho. "URobert L. Barker, kwincwadi ethi Green Eyed Marriage.
Eminye yeemvakalelo ezisisiseko okanye isichukumiso somona sinokuthi:
- Intukuthelo.
- Ukwanda kwekholo.
- Intukuthelo.
- Ukukhusela.
- Iingxoxo ezingaphezulu.
- Ufuna ukuqhubeka uqinisekiswa.
- Ukuxinezeleka.
- Umnqweno wokuphindezela.
- Umbuzo oqhubekayo.
- Ukuziphendulela ngokomzimba njengokuthuthumela, ukuziva uhlaziyiweyo, utshintsho kwiindlela zokulala, kunye nokutshintsha kwindlela yokutya.
- Ukuphela komtshato wakho.
"Abantu abaziva bekhuselekile kwaye bathanda ngokwabo bavame ukuba nomona ongenamnye kwabanye kunye nokunyaniseka kwamaqabane abo, ngelixa abo bafumana ukulahlekelwa okanye ukukhashelwa ebomini babo banokugqithiswa ngumona ...
Ukuba unomona, okanye ukuba iqabane lakho liyenzayo, akunandaba. Ekugqibeleni, umona uya kutshabalalisa ulwalamano lwakho kunye nokutshabalalisa umtshato wakho ... Inzondelelo yindlela yokusebenzisa ulawulo ngobudlelwane ... Ukulawula umona wakho akuthethi ukuthatha ulawulo lomlingane wakho, kuthetha ukuthatha isingqo kwiimvakalelo zakho . "UDkt. Gail Saltz," Inzondelelo: Ngaba Kufana Nabantu Nabesifazane? "Kwi-MSNBC.msn.com (2006).
I-Couple Handle Yenzani?
A. Ingaba unomona onokuthi unqotshwe ngumona? Impendulo nguwe, kodwa ngomgudu omkhulu.Njengoko uninzi lwamava amanzima, umona, xa unyangwa ngokuchanekileyo, ungabangela ukukhula. ukuqonda ngakumbi iqabane lakho kunye nolwalamano. " AM Pines, CF Bowes kwi-"Romantic Jealousy: Indlela yokubona apho kuvela khona umona kunye nendlela yokujamelana nayo" kwi- Psychology Today ( 1992)
- Yivume ukuziphatha kwakho ngomona kwaye wamukele ukuba umona wakho uphatha umtshato wakho.
- Xoxa ngeengcambu zakho okanye umlingane wakho womona.
- Musa ukuyihlola iqabane lakho.
- Njengomlingani onomona, yenza isigqibo sokutshintsha indlela oziphatha ngayo. Ungadinga ukufumana iingcebiso ngabanye.
- Qaphela ukuba awukwazi ukulawula omnye umntu.
- Hlanganisa, misela imigaqo esemgangathweni yomhlaba onokuhlala nayo.
- Ukuba ungumlingani onomona, musa ukuxoka okanye uzame ukufihla apho ukhona okanye into oyenzayo.
- Funa uncedo lwezakhono njengesiqabane xa kufuneka.
* I-Article ihlaziywe nguMarni Feuerman
UFUNA ISICWANGCISO ESIKHULU SOMTSHALA? BENZISWA KWE-NEWSLETTER!