Ifomu yokuLungisa ukuLungisa
Ukukhuthazwa kweengxoxo kukhuthazwa yindlela yokwelapha ekuncedeni abantu benze utshintsho ebomini babo, esetyenziswe ngokufanelekileyo kunyango lwezilungo .
Umoya wokuThuthaza uViwozo usekelwe kwiingongoma ezintathu eziphambili: intsebenziswano phakathi komgqirha kunye nomntu onomlutha, kunokuba ahlangane nomlopheli; ukudweba iingcamango zomntu, kunokuba ugqirha uphumelele iingcamango zabo; kunye nokuzimela komntu onomlutha, kunokuba ugqirha onegunya phezu kwazo.
Ukusebenzisana ngokuBambisana
Ukusebenzisana kubambiswano olwenziwa phakathi komgqirha kunye nomntu onomlutha. Lo mbiswano usekelwe kwingongoma yembono kunye namava omntu onomlutha.
Oku kuyahlukana nezinye iindlela zokunyangwa kweziyobisi, ezisekelwe kumgqirha ojongene nomntu onomlutha, nokugxininisa ingcamango yabo ngokuziphatha komlutha komntu. Ukusebenzisana kunempembelelo yokwakha ulwalamano phakathi komgqirha kunye nomntu onomlutha kwaye uvumela umntu ukuba anelisekile ekuphuhliseni ukuthembela kwi-therapist, enokuba nzima kumbambano.
Oku akuthethi ukuba ugqirha ngokuzenzekelayo uyavumelana nomntu onomlutha. Nangona umntu onomlutha kunye neengcali zawo angabona izinto ngokwahlukileyo, inkqubo yokwelapha igxile ekuqondeni ngokubambisana, kungekhona ugqirha ofanelekileyo kunye nomntu onomlutha angalunganga.
Ukukhupha ngaphandle kokugqithisa iingcamango
Indlela yokwenza umgqirha ibonisa iingcamango zomntu, kunokuba ugqirha obangela ukuba izimvo zabo zisekelwe kwinkolelo yokuba i-motivation, okanye umnqweno, ukutshintsha kuvela kumntu onomlutha, kungekhona kumgqirha. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba umphathiswa angafuna ukuba umntu atshintshe njani ukuziphatha kwakhe, kuya kwenzeka kuphela ukuba lowo mntu ufuna ukutshintsha indlela abaziphatha ngayo.
Ngoko ngumsebenzi wobugqirha ukuba "akhuphe" ukunyaniseka kwezinto zomntu kunye nezakhono zokutshintshwa, kungekhona ukuxelela umntu onomlutha okwenziweyo.
Ukuzimela kunye neGunya
Ngokungafani neminye imizekelo yonyango egxininisa ugqirha okanye ugqirha njengomntu ogunyazisiweyo, Ukuxubusha Ingxoxo kukhuthaza ukuba amandla okwenene okwenza utshintsho ahlala ngaphakathi kumntu onomlutha, kungekhona kwiprogram. Ekugqibeleni, kuya kumntu ukulandela ngokuzenza utshintsho kwenzeka. Oku kunika amandla kumntu ngamnye, kodwa naye ubanika uxanduva kwizenzo zabo.
Utshintsho olwenzeka njani kwiNtshukumo yokuThuthaza
Imigaqo emine ekhokelwayo yakha isiseko seNkqubo yokuHlola ingxoxo. Nangona inkqubo yomntu ngamnye yokulwa nomlingo uya kuba yinto eyahlukileyo, umgqirha uya kubambelela kule migaqo kwinkqubo yomntu ngamnye. Le migaqo ibalulekile ekuqinisekiseni ukuthembela phakathi kobudlelwane bokwelapha.
Uvelwano no kwamkeleka
Abantu abanomlingo bahlala bexhala ukuya kunyango ngenxa yokuba bengakholelwa ukuba ugqirha, owathi, emva koko konke, usebenza ekupheliseni izilingo zabantu, uya kuqonda ukuba kutheni ukuziphatha komlutha kuthetha kakhulu kubo.
Abaninzi, ngokukodwa abo babekezelele abanye abantu abagxeka ukuziphatha kwabo, bakholelwa ukuba baya kugwetywa, abanye baze bazive benetyala ngokuziphatha kwabo kwaye bazive begweba. Kodwa isigwebo nje asikho into yokuHlalisana noThuthazo.
Esikhundleni sokugweba umntu onomlutha, ugqirha ugxininise ekuqondeni imeko kwimeko yombono onomlutha. Oku kwaziwa ngokuba "uvelwano." Imfesane ayithethi ukuba ugqirha uyavumelana nomntu, kodwa ukuba bayaqonda kwaye ukuba ukuziphatha komntu kuqondakala kubo (okanye benza ngexesha lokuziphatha).
Oku kudala umoya wokwamkelwa.
Ukunceda Abantu Benze Iingcamango Zabo
Ukukhuthazwa kweengxoxo kukhuthaza ukuba abantu abanezilwanyana badla ngokungaqinisekiyo nokuba bangafuni ukutshintsha okanye bangafuni ukutshintsha. Umlutha wabo sele usenokuba nemiphumo kubo, obangenise kunyango. Sekunjalo baye bahlakulela umlutha wabo njengendlela yokujamelana nokuphila, kwaye abayithandi imfundiso yokunika loo nto.
Ukukhuthazwa kweengxoxo kukhuthaza abantu ukuba benze iingcinga zabo malunga nendlela yokuqhubela phambili kwiinqanaba zenguqu , ngokuncedisa umntu ukuba abuke izinto ezintle kunye nezilungelelaniso zokukhetha kunye nezenzo ezahlukeneyo. Ngoko ngaphandle kokunyanzelisa umntu, iinjongo kunye nezenzo zinokuphuhliswa kulo moya othembekileyo, osebenzisanayo, osekelwe kwiimfuno zomntu, iimfuno, iinjongo, iimpawu kunye neemandla.
Ukuphuhlisa Ukuqonda Okutsha
Ukukhuthazwa kweengxoxo njengentetho iyaqonda ukuba utshintsho alisoloko lwenzeka ngokulula okanye nje ngokuba umntu ufuna. Kuyinto engokwemvelo ukuba umntu atshintshe iingcinga zabo ngokuphindaphindiweyo malunga nokuba ufuna ukuyeka ukutshaya kwabo, kwaye yintoni leyo nkqubo, kunye nendlela yabo yokuphila entsha, eya kubonakala ngathi.
Kunokuba kunzima, ukuchasana okanye ukugxeka umntu onomlutha, uphando luya kunceda umntu ukuba afikelele ukuqonda okutsha kunye nokuba yiyiphi into ekubhekiselele kuyo. Benza oku ngokuphinda baqulunqe kwaye banikezele ukutolika okwehlukeneyo kweemeko ezivela kwinkqubo yenguqu, ngokuqhelekileyo ezongeza ukwenziwa komntu ukutshintsha. Konke oku kusekelwe kwiinjongo zomntu kunye nezithethe, eziye zahlolwa.
Ukuxhasa
Umgqirha uya kuhlala exhasa inkolelo yomntu ngamandla akhe ukwenza iinguqu abayifunayo. Ekuqaleni, ugqirha unokuba nethemba ngakumbi kumntu kunabo, kodwa oku kuguquka ngenkxaso eqhubekayo.
> Imithombo
> Miller, W. & Rollnick, S. Ukuvuselela Ingxoxo: Ukulungiselela Abantu Ukutshintsha. Uluhlu lwe sibini. I-New York: I-Guilford Press. 2002