Hambisa ukucinga okungekho nto
Ukuyehlela kwizigqibo kuyinto eqhelekileyo kubantu abaneengxaki zokuphazamiseka. Funda kabanzi malunga nokuzityulela kwizigqibo kunye nokuphazamiseka kwengxaki. Ngaphezu koko, fumana indlela yokuhambisa iipateni zokucinga ezidlulileyo.
Inkcazo
Ukujikela kwizigqibo zihlobo lendlela yokucinga engalunganga, eyaziwa njengeziphene eziqondayo . Ukuphazamiseka kwengcamango kuyindlela yokuziphatha okuqhelekileyo phakathi kwabantu abanobunzima bokuxinezeleka nokuxhalabisa. Iingcamango zesigqibo sokhathazwa ngonyango ukuba siyilo nto esiyicinga ukuba siyiyo. Xa umntu eqalela kwizigqibo, abonisa izigqibo ezingenakunobungqina obuncinane okanye abukho ubungqina kwiingcamango zabo.
Ukujikela kwizigqibo kungenziwa ngeendlela ezimbini: ukufundwa kwengqondo kunye nokuxoxwa kwenhlanhla. Xa umntu "efunda ingqondo" bacinga ukuba abanye bavavanya kakubi okanye baneenjongo ezimbi kubo. Xa umntu 'enetyala,' baqikelele kwisiphumo esizayo okanye baya kuthatha isigqibo sokuba imeko iya kuba yimbi kakhulu phambi kokuba imeko iyenze. Makhe sibone imizekelo embalwa yendlela umntu angagxuma ngayo kwizigqibo kunye nezindlela apho umzekelo wokucinga ongalunganga ungagqithwa .
Umzekelo
Nangona babe nobudlelwane obuhle kunye nabo basebenza nabo, uDiane ukholelwa ukuba abayiboni njengento ehlakaniphile okanye ekwazi ukuyenza njengalo lonke iofisi. UDiane wayesandul 'iprojekthi ebalulekileyo ebenomdla wokusebenzela. Nangona kunjalo, uye wazitsho ngokwakhe "Bonke bacinga ukuba ndiyidenge. Ndiyazi nje ukuba ndiya kwenza iphutha kwaye ndonakalise le projekthi yonke. "
U-Aidan wabandezeleka ngenxa yokuphazamiseka kwesifo ngaphandle kwe- agoraphobia ngenxa yobomi bakhe abadala. Nangona wayefumana iimpawu zesifo kunye nexhala, wayekwazi ukulawula imeko yakhe. U-Aidan wayephantsi koxinzelelo olukhulu xa ehlaselwa yintlanzi emsebenzini. U-Aidan waba neentloni ngenxa yokuba abaninzi abasebenza nabo babekho xa kwenzeka. Wayekholelwa ukuba asebenza nabo sele bemjonga phantsi ngenxa yokubonisa iimpawu zokuxhalabisa. U-Aidan ngoku uvakalelwa kukuba abasebenzi bakhe babeza kucinga ukuba uyaduka. Kwakhona wayekhathazekile ukuba uya kulahlekelwa ngumsebenzi ukuba umphathi wakhe ufumane. Wayesaba ukuba ulahlekelwe ngumsebenzi ngenxa yemeko yakhe, ke akukho nanye inkampani eya kumqesha.
Rethink it
Iingcamango ezimbi zikaDiane azixhomekeke kuyo nayiphi na into eyiyo. Unokukhetha ukukholelwa ukuba asebenza nabo bayamhlonela. Ubungqina bokuba uDiane ayenayo phantsi okanye ukuba le projekthi iya kuphumelela? Uyakwazi ukuzixelela ngokwakhe ukuba uya kwenza okulungileyo kakhulu kule projekthi kwaye ukuba kukho iphutha, uya kufunda kulo.
U-Aidan ufunde ukuphumelela ngokuphumelelayo nengxaki yokuphazamiseka . Nangona kunjalo, uyagxuma kwizigqibo malunga noko abanye bacinga kunye nemiphumo yeziganeko ezizayo. U-Aidan akayikusekela ezi ngcamango naziphi na iinkcukacha. Kunoko, "ufunda ingqondo" kunye nabo basebenzisana naye kunye "nokuxhamla" kunye nesiphumo somsebenzi wakhe. Uninzi lwabantu lujolise kakhulu kubomi babo. Osebenza nabo base-Aidan banokukhathazeka kakhulu ngokwabo kwaye abanandaba nokuphonononga uxhalaba luka-Aidan. Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuba abanye abantu asebenza nabo babe novelwano ngo-Aidan ngenxa yobunzima bexinzelelo? Ngaba abanye banokubambisana neengxaki zika-Aidan kunye nexhala kunye nexhala?
Xa ufumana ukufundwa kwengqondo kunye nokuxoxwa kweenhlanhla, khumbuza ukuba uyagxuma kwizigqibo. Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuba abanye bakubonge? Kwakhona, qaphela xa uqikelele ukuba kuphela okubi kunokwenzeka. Ukulinganisela oku kucamngca ngokucinga malunga nokuba yiyiphi imiphumo engcono kakhulu kwimeko ethile. Oku kunokwenzeka, umphumo uza kuba phakathi kwezinye ezi zimbini.
Imithombo:
Ukushisa, iDD " Ukuziva Okuhle: Ulwaphulo olutsha lwe-Mood ," iAvon Books: eNew York, ngo-1999.
Ukushisa, iDD " Xa i-Panic ihlasela: I-New-Free-Free Free-Concerned Therapy Okusenokutshintsha Ubomi Bakho" I- Broadway Books: New York, 2006.