Ukwamkela iimvakalelo ezingalunganga ngokwenene kunempembelelo enhle
Intukuthelo, ukukhungatheka, ukwesaba, kunye nezinye "iimvakalelo eziphazamisayo" ziyingxenye yoluntu. Zingakhokelela ekugqithiseni kwaye zivame ukubonwa njengemvakalelo ekufuneka igwenywe, inganyanzelwanga, okanye ngezinye iindlela i-disavowed, kodwa iyakwazi ukuba yempilweni ukuba sivelele kwakhona. Indlela engcono kukuphatha ngaphandle kokuphika, kwaye kukho izizathu ezininzi.
Ukulawula Iimvakalelo ezimbi
Iingcamango "zokulawula" iimvakalelo ezimbi ziyinkimbinkimbi. Akuthethi ukugwema ukuziva-ukukhusela ukukhusela ngokwenene yindlela yokujamelana nokuzama ukukwenza oku, kwaye iyakwazi ukubuyela. Kwakhona akuthethi ukuvumela le mivakalelo ephazamisayo ibonakalisa ubomi bakho, ubudlelwane bakho, kunye namaqondo akho. Umzekelo, ungasigxina intukuthelo, kunokusiphoqa ukuba sitshabalalise ubudlelwane xa sivumela.
Ukulawula iimvakalelo ezingekho phantsi koko kukuvuma ukuba siziva, sinquma isizathu sokuba sivakalelwa ngale ndlela, kwaye sizivumela ukuba sithole imilayezo abasithumelayo ngaphambi kokuba siyikhulule kwaye siqhubele phambili. (Ewe, loo mazwi ingabonakala ingacacanga, kodwa iimvakalelo zethu zenzelwe ukuba zithunyelwe ngabathunywa ukuba bathethe into ethile, kwaye le miyalezo ingabalulekanga kakhulu xa siphulaphula. singabavumeli ukuba basigqithise; singazigcina zilawulwa ngaphandle kokuphika ukuba siziva.
Iimvakalelo ezingalunganga kunye neemvakalelo ezintle
Xa sithetha ngeemvakalelo ezimbi, kubalulekile ukukhumbuza ukuba le mivakalelo, ngokwazo, ayiyiyo imbi "njengento engalunganga," kodwa ngakumbi ukuba iindawo zokungabi namdla ngokuchasene nomoya. Imvakalelo ayiyonto imnandi okanye imbi, imane ithi kunye nempawu ezivumela ukuba sikhowule ingqalelo kwiimbali ezibadala, nokuba zisishukumisele ukudala amava amaninzi okanye umzekelo, umzekelo.
Ngokungafani neemvakalelo ezithile, abahlali bekunandipha ukuva, kodwa njengemvakalelo eninzi, zikhona ngenxa yezizathu kwaye zinokuba luncedo gqitha.
Iimvakalelo Ezimbi Zithinta Njani?
Intukuthelo, ukwesaba, intukuthelo, ukukhungatheka, kunye nokuxhalabisa ivakalelwa kukuba abantu abaninzi bahlala behlala rhoqo kodwa bazama ukuphepha. Kwaye oku kuyaqondakala-zenzelwe ukusikhulula. Ezi zizwe zengqondo ezimbi zingenza ukuba uxinzelelo oluthe xaxa emzimbeni wakho kunye nengqondo yakho, engonwabi kodwa ingakhokelela kwimicimbi yempilo ukuba uxinzelelo luba lukhuni okanye lukhulu. Akukho mntu uthanda ukuziva engakhululekile, ngoko kuyimvelo ukufuna ukubalekela le miva, kwaye ingozi yokuxinwa okungalawulwayo ingokoqobo. Nangona kunjalo, kukho ukuvakalelwa kukuba ngamanye amaxesha abantu banokuthi le mivakalelo iza kuhlala ngonaphakade okanye ukuba iimvakalelo ngokwazo ziyingxaki.
Ngokuqhelekileyo, le mvakalelo ayilungelelaniso kuba iyakwazi ukuthumela imilayezo. Intukuthelo kunye nokuxhalaba, umzekelo, kubonisa ukuba into kufuneka iguqulwe, kwaye mhlawumbi ukuba impilo yethu isongelwe. Uloyiko lubheno lokwandisa izinga lakho lokhuseleko. Intukuthelo isishukumisela ukuba sitshintshe into ebudlelwaneni. Ukukhungatheka kunjalo. Ngokwenene, iimvakalelo ezingekho phantsi zikhona ukuba zisiqaphele ukuba into kufuneka iguqule kwaye isishukumisele ukuba senze utshintsho.
Iingcali zengqondo zengqondo zichaza ukuba ngelixa zininzi iinzuzo kwiimeko ezintle zengqondo ezifana nethemba, uvuyo kunye nokubulela, kukho nemiphumo emibi enokuvela kuyo. Ulungelo, umzekelo, ludibaniswe kwiziphumo ezininzi ezizuzisayo zempilo nolonwabo kunye nempumelelo yazo. Nangona kunjalo, ukungaqiniseki ngethemba, ke, kunokukhokelela ekulindeni okungenangqiqo kunye nemingcipheko enobungozi engakhokelela ekulahlekelweni kunye nemvakalelo engafanelekanga. Uninzi olungathandekiyo lwengqondo lubonisa ukuba ukukhathazeka, nangona kunjalo, kunokukhokelela ekukhuthazeni ukwenza utshintsho olunokuphucula impumelelo kwaye ukhuphe ingozi.
Le nxalenye yoko kutheni kubalulekile ukuba ungayihoyi imizwa yethu engalunganga-yenzelwe ukusigcina iphephile kwaye isishukumisele ukuba siphucule ubomi bethu, njengemvakalelo emihle.
Amacandelo angcono okuLawula iimvakalelo ezimbi
Intsimi yesimo sengqondo esichukumisayo ibona "ingqungquthela yesibini" yophando olungagxininisekanga kuphela kwizinto ezenza sivuyiswe, siqiniseke kwaye sikwazi ukuphumelela, kodwa nakwindawo emnyama yolonwabo. Sifundile ngakumbi, ngoku kutshanje, malunga nendlela iimvakalelo zethu ezingathintekiyo zisichaphazela ngayo nokuba senze ntoni nabo, kwaye sinokuthi sihlale sisempilweni kangakanani kwinkqubo. Kanye njengoko kukho iingenelo kwiimvakalelo eziphazamisayo, kunokukhokelela ekubeni "ubuxoki obungamanga" apho sizihlazola ngokufumana ezi zizwe zendalo size sizame ukuzikhanyela okanye siziphoqe ukuba senze ngathi sivakale ngakumbi kunathi. Isicwangciso esilungileyo kukuba samkele kwaye sivume ukungqinelana kwamanye amazwe, nangona siqhuba kwimisebenzi enokuyilinganisa le mivakalelo engenakuthatheka ngendlela eyiyo.
Kukho izicwangciso eziliqela eziye zaphandwa kwaye zinconywa njengeendlela zokwamkela nokuchukumisa iimvakalelo ezimbi, kwakunye neendlela ezikhulayo eziye zaphuhliswa ngolu cwaningo ngengqondo. Iqela elithile leendlela lifumana ukuthandwa phakathi kweengcali kunye nabaqeqeshi. Ezi ndlela, njengoko zichazwe kuphando ngoCeri Sims, zinegama: TEARS OF HOPE. Nantsi oku oku kuquka:
T - Fundisa kwaye ufunde. Oku kuthetha ukuvuma ukwazi nokwandisa ulwazi lomzimba wakho kunye nengqondo yakho, nendlela abaphendula ngayo uxinzelelo kunye namanye amazwi angamazwi. Oku kukuvumela ukuba uqonde xa udidekile kwaye kutheni, kwaye ube ngcono ukukwazi ukutolika iimpawu zomzimba wakho othumelayo.
I-E- Express kwaye unike amandla amava kunye namava afanelekileyo. Le nto izandile kancinci ngakumbi kodwa iquka ukukhuthaza ukuvuleka kunye nesisa phakathi kwakho ukwenzela ukwandisa ukwamkela kwakho oko kuza.
A - Yamkela kwaye ube ngumhlobo. Kunokuba luncedo kakhulu ukugxila ngokukwandisa ukuzinyamezela kwakho nokunyamezela.
R - Phinda uhlalutye kwaye uhlaziye kwakhona. Ungasebenzisa iindlela zokuziphatha ezibonakalayo ukuze ubone izinto ngokwahlukileyo.
S - Inkxaso yentlalo. Oku kunokubandakanya umonakalo wobubele bothando lobubele, obunokunyusa imizwa yakho yokuxhamla nabanye kunye novelwano lwakho xa utyalomla ubudlelwane.
( OF )
H - Hedonic impilo / lonwabo; Uphando lubonisa ukuba kunokuba luncedo kakhulu ukuba ube nomlinganiselo we-3 ukuya kwe-1 wemilinganiselo emihle kunye nemeko emibi, oko kuthetha ukuba ungeze amava amahle ebomini bakho, jolise kwiimemori ezinonophelo kunye nempumelelo yokudla, umzekelo, ukwandisa inani ixesha ochithe ngokuqinisekileyo uziva kakuhle.
O - Ukugcina nokuya kuzo; Zama ukusebenzisa ingqiqo kunye nokungahambisani nokugweba izinto ebomini.
P - I- Physiology kunye neenguqu zokuziphatha; Gxininisa ekuphumuleni, ukuphefumula nokuzinakekela.
E - Eudaimonia; Oku kuthetha ukulwela iinjongo ebomini kunye nengqiqo yokuthembeka.
Isicwangciso esongezelelweyo
Kukho ezinye izicwangciso ezinconywayo njengeendlela zokwandisa amazwi anemvakalelo emihle kunye nokuzimisela komntu ukugxininisa kunye neemvakalelo zokungabi nantoni ukuze iimeko ezingathandekiyo zesimo sengqondo aziveki zinzima. Kwaye ngenxa yophando oluthembekileyo, siyazi ukuba oku kunokuba luncedo ngokwalo. Nazi ezinye iindlela ezongezelelweyo ezingasetyenziselwa ukujamelana neemvakalelo ezimbi.
Ukuzivocavoca okusemandleni akho
Oku kubandakanya ukucinga-uqikelele-okusemandleni akho kunye nokuba oko kubonakala ngathi. Lo mzekelo uboniswe ukuphakamisa imizwa kwaye uvelise ingqiqo yokuzithemba, zombini ezo zizisa iinzuzo ezihlala zihlala. Oku kunokwenziwa njengomsebenzi wokubhaliweyo okanye nje ubuchule bokubonakala, kodwa kubandakanya ukujonga ubomi bakho kwixesha elizayo kwaye ucelomngeni ukuba uqikelele ubomi obuhle kakhulu obungaphila, inguqu ebonakalayo enokuzifumana yona.
Uphando luye lwabonisa ukuba abantu ababandakanya lo mzuzu imizuzu emihlanu ngosuku kwiiveki ezimbini bafumana isimo sengqondo esithe xaxa kunye nokwenyuka kokuxhomekeka kubantu abachitha ixesha elifanayo becinga nje ngemisebenzi ngosuku lwabo. Imizuzu emihlanu ngosuku, oku kusetyenziswa kakhulu ixesha.
Incwadi Yokubulela okanye Ukutyelela
Lo msebenzi uthandwa ngabafundi abaneengqondo. Kubandakanya ukubonisa ukubonga kubantu abenzile izinto ezinomusa kuwe, zombini kunye neyona nto. Oku kungaba yileta eya kutitshala wesikolo esisekondari owakuphefumlela ukuba ube ngowona mhle okanye u tyelele ummelwane ukuba ubazise ukuba uxabisa kangakanani ukuba uyazi. Kungaba nayiphi na ileta okanye uhambo lomntu kunye nencoko ebonisa umntu oko bakwenzele yona, oko kuthetha ntoni kuwe, kwaye uyazixabisa. Le mi sebenzi izisa iinzuzo ezilungileyo kubantu abafumana umbulelo, kodwa baye bafunyanwa ukuzisa iimvakalelo ezihlala zihlala zingakumbi kumntu obonisa ukubonga. Uninzi lwabantu ababandakanya kulo msebenzi bavakalisa ukuba baziva bevakalelwa kwiimini okanye kwiiveki kamva.
Ukuthatha "Usuku lomntu siqu" / "Usuku lwezeMpilo yengqondo" / "Iholide yansuku zonke"
Oku kufana nokuthatha indawo yokuhlala kodwa kubandakanya ukudala usuku oluzaliswe ngamava amava onokuba nawo kwiholide ngeli xesha unciphisa uxinzelelo oya kuba nalo kwishedyuli yakho rhoqo. Isebenza phantsi kwesigxina esifanayo sokuthi ezinye izenzo zokwakha izakhiwo zilandele-ukuba ukwanda kwimihlaba enemvakalelo emihle kunokuvelisa ingqiqo enkulu yokuthembela nokuqina-kwaye inenzuzo eyongeziweyo yokunciphisa uxinzelelo lwasemini. (Oku kunokubangela ukuphazamiseka okukhulu kokucinezeleka okungapheliyo kunye nethuba lokubuyisela emoyeni.) Ukwenza oku, yenza usuku oluzaliswe ngemisebenzi oyithandayo.
> Imithombo:
> Garland, u-Eric L .; UFredrickson, uBarbara; Kring, Ann M .; Johnson, David P .; Meyer, Piper S .; UPenn, uDavid L. Ukunyuka kweemvakalelo ezintle ezichasene nomoya ongathandabuzekiyo: Ukuqonda okuvela kwi-theory kwaye kwakha i-neuroscience kwiyonyango yeengxaki kunye neentsilelo kwi-psychopathology. 2010 30 (7): 849-864.
> Lomas, Tim; UIvtzan, uItai. (2016). I-Wave yesiBili I-Psychology efanelekileyo: Ukuhlola i-Dialectics e-Negative Dialectics ye-Wellbeing. Journal of Happiness Studies. Vol. I- Issue 4, p1753-1768.
> Meevissen, Yvo MC; Peters, Madelon L .; Alberts, Hugo JEM (2011). Yiba nethemba ngakumbi ngokucinga ngeyona ndlela ingcono kakhulu: Imiphumo yeveki ezimbini > ukungenelela. Umbhalo woLwazi lweNkathalo kunye neNzululwazi yeengqondo. 42 (3): 371-378
> Sims, Ceri, (2017). Uqeqesho lwesibini lweengqondo ezinengqondo ezinengqondo kunye neengxaki ezinzima: Ukuzisa i-mnemonic 'TEARS HOPE'. Coaching Psychologist, Vol. 13 Issue 2, p66.