Iimpazamo eziqhelekileyo zokuba abahlobo kunye nosapho benze
Ukuba unomntu othandayo unenkathazo yokukhathazeka ngokubanzi (GAD), udlala indima ebalulekileyo ekuncedeni loo mntu ukuba uzive exhaswa kwaye unikwe amandla okuphucula nokunyamekela. Kodwa ngelixa unokuba neenjongo ezilungileyo, kukho iipazamo abantu abazenzayo xa bethetha nomntu onesigqeba esingenakukwazi ukwenza ukuba umntu othandekayo azive engakumbi.
Oku kuluhlu lwezinto ezingaqhelekanga ukuba abahlobo kunye nosapho lwabo abane-GAD benza, eyenzelwe ukukunceda ukuba ugweme. Ingasetyenziswa kwakhona ngokubambisana neqendu langaphambili malunga nezinto onokuzenza ukuze uncede .
1. Musa ukuthi "Yeka ukukhathazeka malunga nayo"
Enye yeempembelelo zokuqala ukuba abahlobo banokukhusela umhlobo wabo oxhalabileyo baze bazame ukususa uxhalaba lwakhe. Ukuthetha izinto ezinjenge "akukho nto ukukhathazeka ngayo," "yeka ukukhathazeka," okanye "akuyiyo into ebalulekileyo" ngokuqhelekileyo ivela njengento yokuxhaswa kwaye ayixhasi . Umntu ophethe i-GAD ngokuqhelekileyo uyavuma kwelinye izinga ukuba ukukhathazeka kunamandla kunokuba kufanele, kodwa ukumisa kubonakala kunzima kakhulu. Bayazi ukuba iimpendulo zabo zingenangqiqo, kwaye ukuba abantu bavakalise ukuphawula kwabo kunokubanceda bazibonele kwaye banelisekile.
Endaweni yoko, zama ukuthetha nokubuza izinto ezinje "Ndingabanceda njani ?," "Kulungile, ndilapha kunye nawe," kwaye "kuyavakala ngathi oku kunzima kuwe" kunoko.
Oku kubonisa ukuba ukhona kuzo ngaphandle kwesigwebo.
2. Musa ukuSombulula iingxaki
Emva kokuzama ukuthatha uxinzelelo kunye nokungaphumeleli, unokufumanisa ufuna ukutshintsha "kwindlela yokulungisa ingxaki." Yiyo xa uzama ukulungisa okanye ukulungisa imeko enomngcipheko kumhlobo wakho.
Ngelixa ucinga ukuba uncedisa umhlobo wakho, ngokusoloko uphelelwa uphawu kwizinto ezinokuba luncedo kakhulu, oluxhasayo ngokomoya.
Kungenxa yokuba umntu unalo i-GAD ayithethi ukuba abanengqondo okanye abakwaziyo ukulungisa ingxaki zabo kunye nexesha elichithwe ukuzama ukunciphisa uxhalabululo ngokusombulula iingxaki.
Kunokuba uqalise ingxaki yokusombulula iingxaki, zama ukujonga ukuba ukuba unokuxhasa kunye nesigulane, ubukho bakho nokuqonda kunokuvumela ukuba umhlobo wakho aphumle aze asebenzele iingxaki zakhe.
3. Musa ukuSebenza-ngaphaya
Xa bobabini bangentla behluleka, abanye abahlobo kunye namalungu entsapho baya kuzama "ukusebenza ngokugqithiseleyo" njengenkxaso, apho baqala ukuthabatha ezinye iingxaki zomhlobo babo kunye nokubeka ubomi babo ekubeni ngabancedisi. Ngamanye amaxesha oku kunokuba kuyimfuneko kwiimeko ezimbi kakhulu, kodwa kwiimilinganiselo ezinkulu, kunokunyusa ukuxhomekeka kwaye kungaqala ukuthatha umonakalo onobuhlungu kumhlobo oncedisayo. Kungenza umntu azive engenakuthenjwa okanye engathembekiyo, okwenyusa ukuxhalabisa. Enye indlela oku kwenzekayo xa umhlobo ngokuyinhloko ethatha inxaxheba yophila kwaye ezama ukunyanga umntu.
Esikhundleni sokunyuka kwisenzo, khuthaza umntu ukuba athole uncedo kwi-GAD, kwaye asebenze ngokubambisana ukulawula iingxaki kunye nokukhathazeka nomntu xa efuna, kungekhona xa uziva unesidingo.
4. Musa ukuLahla ukunyamezela kwakho
Ekugqibeleni, kulula kubantu abasebenzisa naziphi na iindlela ezikhankanywe ngasentla ukulahlekelwa ngumonde nomhlobo wabo. I-GAD imfazwe abanye abantu abaya kulwela iminyaka emininzi kwaye ukuxazulula ingxaki nje yakutsha akunakwenzeka ukuba utshintshe ingxaki enkulu.
Hlalani niyazi indima yenu njengomhlobo oncedisayo, qondani ukuba umhlobo wakho unokuba "ngumkhathazi" ixesha elide, kwaye qinisekisa ukuba usebenzisa inkqubo yakho yenkxaso ukuphepha ukuzigxininisa.