Ukuphendula ngomoya kubalulekile
Izibini ezininzi zineengxaki zokugcina umnqweno wesondo ngobudlelwane obude njengomtshato. Kubalulekile ukujonga ngokukhawuleza. Hayizo zonke iibinibini ezijongene nokunciphisa kakhulu umnqweno ngexesha. Ngoko, yintoni umehluko phakathi kwezibini ezithandwayo apho umnqweno onqabileyo kunye nabangenayo? Kwaye, sinokuyifunda ntoni kwiibinibini ezingenalo ukuhla kwehla?
Ezinye iziphumo zangoku zibonelela ngeempendulo.
Ucwaningo olwenziwa ngokubambisana ngeeyunivesithi eziliqela ezipapashwe kwiNcwadi yoBuntu kunye neNtlalo yeNtlalo ejongene neengqinamba zesibini sokuphendula kunye nempembelelo yaso, ukuba kukho, malunga nesifiso sesini. Uphando oludlulileyo aluzange lunikeze impendulo ecacileyo malunga nokuba ingqondo ephakamileyo yobudlelwane obusondeleyo (ukuziva ukuqondakala, ukufutshane, ukuxhunywa ngezenzo ezithandayo, ezifudumeleyo nokuthandana) kubuhlobo kunokunceda okanye kubuhlungu umnqweno wesini.
Kukho abo baye bafunda le miba esichaza ngokuqhubekayo -inqweno yesigxina . Oku kuphazamiseka kuthetha ukuba amazinga aphezulu olwalamano olusondeleyo olwenziwe ngumntu angayinqanda iminqweno yesini. Ingxabano ijikeleze ingcamango yokuba ukwazi ukubulala umnqweno. Isifiso sibonakala sisisiseko esinobuqili, ukungaqiniseki, kunye nokuhlukana. Nangona ezinye iingcali zithi umnqweno uxhomekeke kwinqabiseko nokhuseleko oluqinileyo kunye nomlingani oyintandokazi oyintloko.
Iziphumo zolu uphando olutsha luxhasa inkxaso yokugqibela. Ukuphendula komntu osemlinganeni ngaphandle kwegumbi lokulala, eqinisweni, kubangele umnqweno wokulala ngesondo kunye nomlingane wabo. Le ngcamango inokukunceda ukucacisa ukuba kutheni umnqweno wamabhinqa, ngokukodwa, unempembelelo enkulu yempatho yomlingani wabo kunomnqweno wesilisa.
Ukuphendula kunye nesifiso
Kwisifundo sokuqala, abathathi-nxaxheba baxelelwe ukuba baya kusebenzisana nabo kwi-intanethi kunye neqabane labo. Baye bafundiswa ukuba bathethe ngentshukumo yomntu esandul Nangona kunjalo, babethetha ngokunyanisekileyo kwisifundo esihlanganyelweyo-umdlali onxaxheba kwilo vavanyo. Lo mbambano uthumele "umyalezo" okanye "umyalezo ongenakuphendula" emva kokuva ibali.
Ezinye iziMpendulo zeempendulo
"Kwakufuneka ukuba kube nzima ngamava."
"Ndiyifumene ngokupheleleyo into oye waphila ngayo."
"Kubonakala ngathi esi siganeko sinefuthe elikhulu kuwe."
"Ndiya kuziva ukuba ndiyingozi xa oko kwenzeka kum."
Ezinye zeZibonelo zeempendulo ezingaphenduliyo
"Kufuneka uzame ukuyithatha yonke into."
"Ewe, eli bali libi, kodwa libi kakhulu."
"Mhlawumbi kwenzeka ntoni kukuhle."
"Andiboni ukuba kutheni le nto ingakukhathaza."
Izimpendulo eziphendulayo, njengemizekelo engentla, gxininisa kwimeko yamava omntu ochaphazelekayo ophathelene nesiganeko esathethiweyo. Iimpendulo zithinteka , ziqinisekisa kwaye zidibene nomntu kwinqanaba elinye. Impendulo engaphenduliyo ibonakala ingavumiyo kwaye ayinayo imvakalelo.
Iziphumo zophando zibonisa ukuba abafazi babika ukuba bafumana isantya esingaphezulu kwesifiso sesini xa bexhambelana nomlingane ophendulayo xa behamba kunye nomlingane ongaphenduliyo.
Ngaphandle koko, umnqweno wamadoda wawungafani kakhulu kwiimeko ezimbini zokuphendula.
Imiboniso yeSifiso
Kwisifundo sesibini, abathathi-nxaxheba abangama-178 baxoxa ngento ebomini ubuso nobuso kunye nomlingani wabo woqobo. Bobabini babecelwa ukuba bahlanganyele ngokusondelana ngokomzimba njengokuthintana, ukumanga okanye ukwenza omnye nomnye. Ukusebenzisana kwakufakwe ngevidiyo kunye nekhowudi (ukuguquka kokuziphatha kwi-data) ukuphendula nokuthanda. Iziphumo zabonisa ukuba impendulo yomlingane yayidibene nemibiko yomnqweno kunye nemiboniso yangempela yomnqweno kumabini omabili kodwa nangakumbi nakumafazi.
Kwisifundo sesithathu, imibhangqwana eyi-100 igcinwe idayari kwiiveki ezimbalwa: Abalingani baxela ngelona nqanaba lomnqweno wesondo ngamnye ngosuku kunye nemibono yabo yeempendulo zabo, kunye neengcamango ezikhethekileyo zeqabane lawo " iza kuba ngabanye abantu). Iziphumo zophando zibonisa ukuba kubo bobabini nabasetyhini, ukujonga iqabane njengabaphendulayo kubenza bazive bekhethekileyo kwaye iqabane labo liya kuba lunqweneleka kwabanye. Ngaloo ndlela, iqabane layo lifuna ukuziphatha ngokwesini.
Isiphelo
Ekupheliseni, iimpawu zokuphendula kubantu ukuba iqabane labo liyiqonde ngokwenene, lixabise kwaye lixhase iingxenye ezibalulekileyo zengqondo yazo kwaye likulungele ukutyalomali kulwalamano. Oku kungaphezulu nje kokwenza okulungileyo. Ukwenza okulungileyo kuhle kakhulu, kodwa into esiyithethayo apha iquka ukuqonda ngokucacileyo ukuba ngubani umlingani wakhe kwizinga elingaphantsi kunye nokuba ufuna ntoni na iqabane lakhe kunye neemfuno. Yiloo nto eyenza ubuhlobo buve bukhethekileyo kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo oko abantu bathi bayayifuna kubuhlobo babo bobuhlobo. Ngokusekelwe kwiziphumo, abasetyhini banokuxabisa ukuvakalelwa okhethekileyo ngakumbi kwaye babone ukuziva okhethekileyo njengengcezu enkulu yeempendulo zabo.
Ngokubanzi, iziphumo zikunceda ukucacisa okubizwa ngokuba ngumntu osondeleyo-umnqweno wokuzixhalabisa ngokucetyiswa ukuba kungabi yinto ephazamisayo kuyo yonke imeko phantsi kweemeko ezithile. Yintoni eyenza ukuba ulwalamano olusondeleyo okanye oluphazamisa umnqweno alukho nje ubuhlobo obusondeleyo, kodwa intsingiselo yayo kwisikimu esikhulu solwalamano. Impendulo iyakwazi ukukhuthaza umnqweno xa inika iqabane ukuba lifanelekile ukuphishekela. Ukongezelela, ukusebenzisana ngesondo kunye nalo mlingane onqwenelekayo kunokwenzeka kwakhona ukukhulisa ubudlelwane obunokubaluleka.
Ngoko, ukuba ukhangele ukwandisa inani lezesondo ofumene kwiqabane lakho, zama ukukwenza ngendlela ephendulayo emoyeni. Siye safunda ukuba oku kusebenza ngokuthe ngqo kubafazi. Yenza iqabane lakho live live, lixabiseke kwaye likhetheke. Phendukela kumlingane wakho kwiingxoxo zombini ezilula nsuku zonke kwaye zikhulu, ezinenjongo ngakumbi. Le ngcebiso yengqiqo isekelwe ngophando oluninzi rhoqo ngemini.
> Imithombo:
> Birnbaum, GE, Reis, HT, Mizrahi, M., Kanat-Maymon, Y., Sass, O., & Granovski-Milner, C. (2016, Julayi 11). Ukuxhamla ngokukhawuleza: Kubaluleka kweNtsebenziswano yokusebenzisana nokufumana isifiso socansi. Umbhalo woBuntu kunye neNzululwazi yeNtlalo .
> Baumeister, RF, & Bratslavsky, E. (1999). Ukunyameka, ukuthandana, kunye nexesha: Uthando olunomdla njengomsebenzi>> utshintsho . Ukuhlaziywa koBuntu kunye noPhuhliso lwezeNtlalo, 3 , 49-67.