Ukuba indoda yakho ayinomdla kwisini, ngokucacileyo awunabo yedwa ngokwombhali uMichele Weiner-Davis. Waqulunqa igama elithi "umfazi wesondo olambileyo" emva kokukhululwa kwencwadi yakhe, Umfazi Oxhatshazwa ngokwesondo: Oko Ukwenza Xa Ulahlekelwa Isifiso . Ukuhlambalalisa inkolelo yamadoda isondo kakhulu kunabesifazana, uDavis ufuna abesifazana baqonde ukuba abagwebi kwaye abangekho bodwa ekufumaneni ubulili ngokwaneleyo emtshatweni wabo.
Uchazwe ngokucacileyo kule ncwadi izizathu zokuba amadoda alahlekelwe ngumdla kwisini kunye nokubonelela ngezixhobo, iindlela kunye neengcebiso ekujonganeni nalo mbandela.
Abafazi banokuvakalelwa kakubi ngabo ukuba abayeni babo abanomdla kwisini. Ingabangela ukuphazamisa ukuzithemba nokuzimela. Njengabasetyhini abangalalani namadoda abo, abafazi banokuziva bexhatshazwa kwaye bahlaselwe. Kuya kubeka umthwalo omkhulu kumtshato kwaye mhlawumbi ukhokelela ekuqhawuleni umtshato.
Le ngxaki inzima emtshatweni, kodwa kunokubakho izinto onokuzenza. Kunceda ukuba neqabane elixhalabele le nto kwaye likulungele ukuphonononga izisombululo. Isinyathelo sokuqala ngugqirha wezokwelapha ukulawula imeko ephantsi kwonyango. Uya kufuna ukwazi naziphi na izizathu ezenzekayo zokuhamba ngesondo sakhe esiphantsi. Ukuba kungekhona umzimba, mhlawumbi kukho isizathu sengqondo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba yiyiphi imbangela ebangela ukuba kukho, kukho izixhobo ezifumanekayo xa iqabane lakho likhuthazwa.
Ukuba le ngxaki iqhubeka ixesha elide, unokungenwa ngumtshato ongenasini. Umtshato ongenasondo ungachazwa njengomtshato kunye ncinane okanye akukho msebenzi wesondo phakathi kwabo babini. Uqikelelo olu malunga ne-2% yemitshato. Imitshato iya kuba ngesondo ngenxa yezizathu ezininzi. Oku kungenakuba yingxaki ukuba ngaba nonke nilungile nale nto.
Kungenakwenzeka ukuba, ubuncinane omnye wenu akayivuyi le meko. Ingakwazi ukuqala xa unesibini isibini unalo ngokungafaniyo ne-libidos. Elinye iqondo lokungafani ngokuqhelekileyo liqhelekileyo malunga nantoni na. Kodwa, ngamanye amaxesha kunzima kwaye kungaqala ukuthungatha umthamo ongekho kumhlaba wesini. Isizathu esilandelayo esiqhelekileyo sixinzelelo somtshato. Ukusuka apha, ukungathembeki kunye / okanye umtshato ngumphumo oqhelekileyo.
Njengengxaki ezininzi eziqala emtshatweni, isi sibini sihlala silinde ixesha elide ukujongana nayo. Le ngcamango engalunganga. Ukuba uqala ukubona ukuba isondo sithinteka, sinokuthetha ngentliziyo yakho kunye neqabane lakho. Zibonakalise ngobumnene, uthando notyala. Cinga ukuzama ukujongana nale ngxaki kunye. Kukho izixhobo ezininzi ezintle apho kuncedwa ngolu hlobo: oogqirha, oogqirha bezesondo, iincwadi, amanqaku e-intanethi njalo njalo.
* I-Article ihlaziywe nguMarni Feuerman