"Nabani na onokuthukuthela-oko kulula. Kodwa ukucaphuka komntu ofanelekileyo, kwizinga elifanelekileyo, ngexesha elifanelekileyo, ngenjongo efanelekileyo, kwaye ngendlela efanelekileyo-akulula."
Kule ngqungquthela, ifilosofi u-Aristotle uthetha ngokugqithiseleyo ingcamango eye yaba sishushu esicatshulwa kwi-psychology, imfundo, kunye nezoshishino-iingqondo zengqondo.
Abantu abanengqiqo abanengqondo bazibandakanya emininzi yemikhwa kunye nokuziphatha okubangela ukuba bakwazi ukulawula iimvakalelo zabo baze baqonde iimvakalelo zabanye.
Ngaba uyayazi nawuphi na onomdla kwiimvakalelo zakhe, okwazi ukubonisa iimvakalelo ngendlela efanelekileyo, kunye novelwano nokuqonda indlela abanye abavakalelwa ngayo? Loo mntu mhlawumbi ungumntu okhaliphile kakhulu.
Ulwaphulo lwengqondo luquka ezine izakhono ezinkulu:
- Ukukwazi ukuqonda iimvakalelo.
- Ukukwazi ukuqiqa ngeemvakalelo.
- Ukukwazi ukuqonda iimvakalelo.
- Ukukwazi ukulawula iimvakalelo.
Khangela ezi zinto ziphambili abantu abanokwenene ngokomoya abanokwenza ukuba uzame ukwenza ezinye zeendlela zokuphila kwimihla ngemihla. Yaye uthathe le mibuzo ukuze ubone indlela ovelele ngayo, impendulo inokumangalisa!
Abantu abanengqiqo abanengqondo baqwalasela oko bakuvakalelwa.
Isazi sengqondo kunye nomlobi uDaniel Goleman ubonakalisa ukuzazi ngokwabo njengenye yezinto eziphambili zengqondo. Ukuziqonda kubandakanya ukukwazi ukubona imizwelo, iimvakalelo kunye neemvakalelo.
Ingxenye yokwazisa ikwaquka ukuqonda indlela iimvakalelo zakho neemvakalelo zakho zichaphazela ngayo abanye abantu. Oku kukwazi ukubeka esweni iziganeko zakho zengqondo kuyimfuneko eyisiseko yokwenza ingqondo.
2. Baqonda indlela abanye abavakalelwa ngayo.
Uvelwano ngenye yezinto eziphambili ze-Goleman zengqondo.
Oku kuquka ukukwazi ukuqonda iimvakalelo zabanye abantu. Ukuze usebenze nabanye abantu kwimimandla yezinto ezininzi zobomi, njengomsebenzi okanye esikolweni, kufuneka ukwazi ukwazi oko bakuvakalelwayo. Ukuba umntu osebenza kunye naye uphazamisekile okanye udidekile, ukwazi ukuba uvakalelwa njani kunokukunika ingcamango engcono yokuphendula.
3. Bakwazi ukulawula iimvakalelo zabo.
Ukuzilawula kuyona nto iphambili kwiinkcukacha zengqondo. Ukuqonda iimvakalelo zakho kukhulu, kodwa akunakuncedo xa ungenakusebenzisa lolu lwazi. Abantu abanengqiqo abanengqiqo bacinga ngaphambi kokuba benze ngezimvo zabo. Baxhomekeke kwindlela abazivakalelwa ngayo, kodwa abazivumeli iimvakalelo zabo zilawula ubomi babo.
4. Ba khuthazwa.
Abantu abaneemvakalelo ezinobuzwe bashukunyiswa ukuba bafezekise iinjongo zabo kwaye bakwazi ukulawula iimpawu zabo neemvakalelo ukuze bafezekise impumelelo ende. Basenokuba neengxaki malunga nokwenza utshintsho ebomini babo, kodwa bayazi ukuba ukulawula olu loyiko kubalulekile. Ngokuthatha ukutshintsha nokwenza utshintsho, bayazi ukuba banokuphucula ubomi babo kwaye bafike isinyathelo esondeleyo ekufikeleleni zabo iinjongo.
5. Zinezakhono zentlalo enkulu
Abantu abanengqiqo abanomdla nabo banamathuba okuba noluntu oluqinileyo, mhlawumbi inxalenye ngenxa yokuba baxhomekeke kwiimvakalelo zabo nakwabanye.
Bayazi indlela yokujongana nabantu ngokufanelekileyo, kwaye batyala imali ekugcineni ubudlelwane boluntu obunempilo kwaye bancedise abo bajikelezayo.
6. Bazimisele kwaye banako ukuxoxa ngeemvakalelo nabanye.
Ngamanye amaxesha abantu bayaba novelwano kwaye baxhamle nemizwa yabo, kodwa kunzima ukuxelela abanye ngeemvakalelo. Abantu abanengqiqo abanokuqonda kuphela iimvakalelo, bayazi indlela yokuzichaza ngokufanelekileyo.
Yintoni esithethayo ngokufanelekileyo ? Khawucinge, umzekelo, ukuba unomsebenzi onzima kakhulu emsebenzini. Udiniwe, udidekile, kwaye unomsindo malunga nendlela izinto ezihamba ngayo kwintlanganiso ebalulekileyo.
Imbonakalo engafanelekanga yeemvakalelo zakho ingabandakanya ukubuyela ekhaya uze uxabane nomlingane wakho okanye uthumele i-imeyile embi kumphathi wakho. Impendulo enemvakalelo engakumbi iya kuxubusha uxhaphalo lakho kunye neqabane lakho, ukukhulula ukuxhatshazwa ngokuya kwintonga, nokuza nesicwangciso sokwenza umhla olandelayo ube ngcono kunaphambili.
7. Bakwazi ukuchonga ngokuchanekileyo izizathu ezibangela iimvakalelo zabo.
Khawucinge ukuba ufumana ukukhathazeka kunye nomsindo nomntu osebenza naye. Njengoko uvavanya iimvakalelo zakho, hlalutya oko ukucaphukisa ngokwenene. Ngaba uphahla malunga nezenzo zakho zentsebenziswano, okanye ingaba ulaka lwakho lugxininisa uxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo oluvela kumphathi oye wakwenza umsebenzi omkhulu kunye noxanduva emagxeni akho? Abantu abanengqiqo abanokwazi ukujonga imeko kwaye bachane ngokuchanekileyo umthombo weemvakalelo zabo.
Ekuqaleni, oku kunokubonakala ngathi kuyinto elula, kodwa inyaniso kukuba ubomi bethu bomphefumlo bunokuba nzima kwaye bunzima. Ukufumana imvelaphi efanelekileyo yemvakalelo yakho inokuba yinto ekhohlakeleyo xa ujongene nemvakalelo enamandla enjengomdla nomsindo.
> Imithombo:
> Goleman, D. (1995). Zobulumko. ENew York: iBantam.
> Salovey, P., & Mayer, J. (1990). Zobulumko. Ukucinga, ukuqonda, nobuntu, 9 (3), 185-211.