Ndingathanda ukukuzisa kuJenn, ilungu leforum yokuxhasa apha.
Emva kweenyanga ezintathu zokuyeka ukutshaya, ubusuku edolophini yatshintsha yonke into. Funda ibali likaJenn uze ulikhumbule ngexesha elizayo ukucela ukutshaya ukutshaya .
Siyabonga ngokuxelela ibali lakho ngokunyanisekileyo, uJenn. Ukuphindaphinda kuyabuhlungu, kodwa akukho nkunkuma xa isifundo esifanele sinikeze sifunde kwaye sisetyenziswe ngexesha elizayo.
KuJenn:
MELE NDIXHELE .......
Ndiyakholwa ngokwenene ukuba ndiyilwa ne- nicotine . Ukuhamba yonke imini ngaphandle kokucinga ngecuba. Ukuvalelwa kuba bantu abahluphekileyo bemi ngaphandle kweli xesha elibi leCleveland ukutshaya. Ukungabi noluvo lwentlalo ekhangele phantsi kuwe ngenxa yokuba "uyabhema" njengokuba udoti onyanyekayo. Ukukhwehlela okukrakrayo kukukho. Indlovu isusile sakho esifubeni. Imvakalelo emangalisayo kwimiphunga yakho njengoko ikhula ngakumbi xa uthabatha. Imali eyongezelelweyo ekugqibeleni uqala ukuyibona. Inkwenkwe yam inqabisa ngokuthi uMama akasayi kushiya! Lezo zimbalwa zezinto ezilungileyo endizifumene nazo kwiinyanga ezintathu zokugqibela.
Kwada ngoMgqibelo wokugqibela ngoMgqibelo ...
Iminyaka emithathu edlulileyo ubaba wayesebulawa ngumhlaza, wawusasazeka kuwo wonke umzimba wakhe. Sineenyanga enye ukususela ngexesha esiyifumene ukuba wayegula waze wafa.
Enye inyanga ayikho ingqalelo enkulu. Wayesekhaya kwaye mna nomama sam sinakekela kwaye samjonga esifa.
Ngomnye wale mihla, ngokuyinene incoko yethu yokugqibela, ndaqala ukukhala kwaye "sinamazwi" kwaye siphetha intetho yethu, wandibuza ukuba ndiyeke ukutshaya (wayeyitshisa kakhulu kwaye wayeka 5 yrs ngaphambi).
Ngoko ndathi ubaba ndithembisa ngelinye ilanga ndiza. Ndenze isithembiso kum kumngcwaba ndiza kuyeka xa ndandineminyaka engama-40. Ewe, andizange ndiyeke ngo-40, ndashiya inyanga enye ngaphambi kokuzalwa kwam 41. Ngoko andizange ndiwugcine ngokupheleleyo isithembiso sam, kodwa sondela kufuphi. Ndayeka uNovemba 23, 2014.
Ndagcina ndiyeka kunye nabanye abantu ababini bevutha ngentshitshana endlwini ndihlala kuyo. Ndiyifumene ngoHlelo lokuBonga, lobusuku bokuzalwa obungama-41 emva kokusela, iKrisimesi kunye neMinyaka emitsha. Owe, kunye nomntwana oneminyaka engama-19 owayesichukumisa amaqhosha am! Yinto eninzi ukuyifumana, makhe ndikuxelele! Kwaye ndazi nje .. le nto yayiza kuba yam ngonaphakade.
NgoMgqibelo wokugqibela ... i-ole endileyo ngoMgqibelo. Ndiqhele ukuba ngumntu ohlala ekhaya, andisayi kuphinda ndiphuze. Ukuba ndinayo ibhiya e-3 eninzi! Eyona ... umhlobo wam omhle kwaye ndiphuma kwaye ndiba nobusuku obukhulu bokusela. Kutheni, andiyihlawula okanye ndiqhuba. Ndivumelekile ukuba ndikhululeke rhoqo emva kwexesha! Yep! Ngokuqinisekileyo ndaye ndaye ndaye ndaye ndaye ndavulela! Ndikhumbula ndixelela umngane wam osenyongweni, nceda ndivumele ukuba ndibe neyodwa . Ndiyathembisa ukuba andiyi kukukhumbula nangomso. Ndakukhumbula ngokuthe tye, kwaye kwanjalo umlutha owawulele ukulala ngenxa yokuba ndayeka.
NgeCawa ndandingenayo enye, ndandingakwazi ukucinga ngoku.
NgoMvulo ndibe kunjalo. Ndavuka, ndaphuma ebhedeni, ndagxuma kwiforum kwaye ndabona ukuba elinye lamalungu eqela lam liwile. Ndagqiba kwelokuba ndiza kunamathela kwimihla yam yokuyeka i-Nov. Wayecinga ukuba kunjalo. Kodwa andizange ndive ndiyinyani, oko kwakungandibungela.
Ngaphambi kokuba ndiyazi, i- junkie encinci eyayicinga ukuba yayihleli ixesha elide. Kuthethekile , uthe, awuzange ukhumbule nokuba uyayivuyela okanye awuyiyo. Ngaba loo mijelo emibili yenza nantoni na? HAYI! Ngaphaya ngaphaya. Into elandelayo ndiyayazi, ndiyidonsa igqabi kumama kwaye ndifihla kwindawo yokuhlambela.
Makhe ndikuxelele ....
Ndandiziva ngakumbi. Ndidanisa ngakumbi. Okungeyinyani kum.
NgoLwesibini, enye into exinzezelayo iyenzeka ngunyana wam omdala kwaye ushiya ipaketi yakhe yokubhema kunye nokukhanyisa emotweni yam. Kwaye oko kukuphela kwebali, ekupheleni kwemfazwe endiyilwe kanzima kwiinyanga ezintathu zokugqibela.
Namhlanje ngeCawe, iintsuku eziyi-8 ukususela kwam encinci, "impazamo" encinci. Lo mva emva komsebenzi andizange ndilinde ukuya ekhaya ndibe nomsi. Makhe ndikuxelele ngokukhawuleza ukuba uphendule ngokukhawuleza kangakanani kwisigxina salolu xhatshazo olubi ... bekuyiintsuku ezi-8 ezikhawulezayo kum.
Makhe ndikuxelele, ukuba uninzi lweeveki, iinyanga, iminyaka ukuyeka kwaye loo mazwi amancinci ekhanda lakho aqala ukuhlebazela ukuba enye inxeba okanye uphantsi kwengcinezelo kwaye udinga ukutshaya omnye ... okanye uvumele nje jonga indlela evakalelwa ngayo ukutshaya enye emva kolu xeshanye ... awunakuyonwabela okanye ngaba uya ...
Makhe ndikuxelele oko kuza kwenzeka. Makhe ndikuxelele ukuba uza kuziva njani.
Uya kugula.
Intloko yakho iya ku-POUND ngakumbi kwaye i-migraine yeentsuku ezimbini.
Uya kuba ugula kwisisu sakho.
Imiphunga yakho iya kuphazamiseka kwangoko. Kuya kuphazamisa ukuphefumula kwaye i-airways yakho iya kuqinisa kwakhona.
Uya kugqitywa ngesifo esibi kakhulu nesifo sesifuba onokucinga.
Uza kuziva ubaleke entliziyweni yakho apho ucinga ukuba unokuhlaselwa yintliziyo. Unokwenene uvakalelwa imithwalo yakho yegazi.
Awuyi kuba namandla.
Ngokwenene ... uya kudideka kuwe kwaye uzive njengotshaba olumanyanisekileyo uluntu olwenza ukuba ube. Njengawo wonke umntu unokukuvumba umgama.
UYA KUHLAWULA KUKHULU KUNYE.
Ngoko ke makhe ndikuxelele ... kungakhathaliseki ukuba yiyiphi inqaku ekuyekeni kwakho, ukuba loo nto encinci ekhanda lakho iyaphuma kwaye ude ude ucinge ukunikezela, STOP. Thatha umoya okhulu kwaye ucinge ngezinto oza kuyenza. Ungabi sisisilumko ... linda emva kwemizuzu emi-3 ukuya kwemi-5 , uthathe ukuphefumula, uphuze amanzi, uhlambe, wenze ezinye iimbotyi okanye nantoni na oku kuya kukunceda ukuba udlule kwiingcamango eziphosakeleyo zokutshaya. UNGAKHULULELE kulolo lizwi elincinci.
Makhe ndikuxelele..Ndiyekanga kwaye i-battle yangu iya kuhlala ngoNovemba ka-2014, kodwa umhla wam wokuyeka umva uya kuba kungekudala.
~ UJenn