Ngaba ungumntu opheleleyo? Abantu abaninzi banemilinganiselo yokugqibelela kwaye banokuziqhayisa, kodwa kukho ukubaluleka okubalulekileyo phakathi kobugqibeleleyo kunye nokuphumelela okuphezulu kunye nokuba yinto ephakamileyo kakhulu kwimpilo yakho kunye nolonwabo. Ukuba unesimo sengqondo esiphelele, kubalulekile ukufumana amaqhinga okuwadlula kwaye uhambele ekubeni ungaphelelekanga.
Ukuphelelwa komzimba kungakuphanga uxolo lwakho lwengqondo, ulonwabo lobomi kunye nokuzithemba. Nangona yinkqubo enokuthabatha ixesha elifutshane kunye nokuziqhelanisa, ukuchitha umthwalo wokuphelela ukunyaniseka kunokunciphisa kakhulu izinga loxinzelelo oziva ngalo imihla ngemihla.
Ukwahlukana Okubalulekileyo Phakathi Kwabalungileyo kunye nabaPhezulu abaPhezulu
Ngaphambi kokuba uhlolisise ngakumbi kwizicwangciso zokuvumela ukuhamba ngokugqibeleleyo, kubalulekile ukukhumbula izinto ezisisiseko zokuphi ukufezekisa kwaye akunjalo; oku kunokukunceda uhlale ukhuthaze ukwenza utshintsho. Ukugqithisa okungafani nokuphumelela okukhulu kwindlela enye ebalulekileyo: apho ugxininiso lwakho lukho. Ukuba uzama ukugqwesa, ungonwabile ngempumelelo yakho kwaye ufunde kwiimpazamo zakho.
Ukugqithisa okungafaniyo kukuba ukugxininisa kukuncinci; abagqibeleleyo bayazibetha ngenxa yantoni ebonakala ingabikho, kwaye oku kubangele ukwaneliseka nokuzikhukhumeza okuvela kuzo zonke izinto abazenzayo kakuhle.
Enye yeengxaki ezibalulekileyo abajongene nokugqibelela kukuba uloyiko lokuba xa beyeka ukudubula ukufezekisa, baya kuba ngabafundi abaphantsi kwaye iinjongo zabo ziya kuhamba ngendlela. Makukuqinisekisile oku oku: abaphelelisi bafezekisa ngaphantsi kunezo zimo zengqondo ezinempilo, kuba ukugxila kwabo ekufezekeni kubangele ukukhuphaza kwaye kungabangela ukunyanzelisa kunye nezinye izinto zokuzikhusela.
Ukuvumela ukuhamba kweengcamango zengqibelelo kunokukunceda ukuba uphumelele ngakumbi!
Ngaloo nto uthe, nakhu amanyathelo abalulekileyo ongayenza ukuze ugcine isimo sengqondo esipheleleyo.
Yenza Uhlalutyo lweZindleko
Jonga ngokukhawuleza iimpawu zakho ezigqibeleleyo. Unokucinga ukuba uphumelele kakhulu ngenxa yabo (nangona ngokutsho kophando, oku mhlawumbi akunjalo), kodwa yintoni iindleko? I-Perfectionism ineempembelelo ezininzi ezimbi, kwaye unokuba nobuninzi babo ngoku. Yenza uluhlu lwazo zonke iindlela zokuphelela ukuphazamiseka (kunye nabo bajikelezayo), kwaye uya kuba nefuthe ngakumbi ekukhupheleni ukutyekela.
Qaphela Iimpawu Zakho
Awukwazi ukuqonda indlela ukuphelela ngokupheleleyo okungapheli ngayo. Xa uqonda ngakumbi iipatheni zakho, usesikweni esingcono sokuguqula. Ukuba unako, unengcamango enkulu yokurekhoda iingcamango zakho ezigqibeleleyo njengoko zifika entloko yakho. Ukuba akunakwenzeka ukuba ubeke iingcamango phantsi xa beza, kuyinjongo enkulu yokuhamba ngosuku lwakho ngalunye ubusuku kwaye ukhumbule amaxesha apho uvakalelwa kukuba awuphumelelanga, okanye ungazange wenze kakuhle, ubhale phantsi oko ucinga ngelo xesha. Oku kuya kukunceda uqaphele ngakumbi iingcamango ezigqibeleleyo njengoko ziza kuwe kwikamva.
(Unokwenjenjalo uncwadi malunga nemvakalelo yakho malunga nale ngcamango, kodwa ungaziva ukuba 'awuphumelelanga' ukuba awunayo ixesha lokwenza oku!)
Gxi ninisa kwizinto ezilungileyo
Ukuba unengxaki yokuphelela, mhlawumbi uye wanyusa ubuchule bokuphosa iimpazamo kwimisebenzi engcono nakwezinye zakho. Unokuzijonga ngokwemvelo, kwaye uqaphele ngaphezu kwazo zonke ezinye izinto. Nangona le mkhuba ingaba nzima ukuyeka nje, unokunciphisa ukuthambekela kwakho ukuphawula okubi ngokuzama ukujonga konke okulungileyo nomsebenzi wakho kunye nempumelelo yabanye. Ukuba ubona into ongayithandiyo okanye umsebenzi wakho, umzekelo, khangela ezinye iimpawu ezinhlanu ozithandayo.
Oku kuya kulungelelanisa ingqwalasela yakho ebalulekileyo kwaye ube ngumkhwa omtsha omhle.
Yenza i-Self-Talk Talk yakho
Abo banxamnye nokugqibelela bavame ukuba nelizwi elibuhlungu entlokweni yabo ekubatsheleni umsebenzi wabo awunakulungele, abazami ngokukhawuleza, kwaye abanako ngokwaneleyo. Ukuba uya kunqoba ukugqibelela, kufuneka usebenze ekutshintsheni eli lizwi elincinci! Ukuzithethelela okungafanelekanga kunokuqhubeka nokuziphatha kakubi kwaye kukuphazamise ukuzithemba kwakho ; ngokutshintsha ukuthetha kwakho, unokuhamba ixesha elide ukuze ujabulele ubomi ngakumbi kwaye uzuze ngokwakho umsebenzi wakho.
Thatha iintshukumo zeNtsana
I-Perfectionists ijwayele ukubeka iinjongo zokugqwesa okungenangqiqo ngaphandle kwendlela yokufunda. Ezi njongo zivame ukuba zingenangqiqo kwaye zibangele iingxaki ngokunyanzelisa kwaye zishiye igumbi elincinane. Kunoko, unokunciphisa uxinzelelo oluninzi ngokutshintsha iinjongo zakho. Akunakufuneka uhlawule umphumo wokugqibela, kodwa ukuba ubeka iinjongo ezinokuluma kwaye uzizuze xa ufezekisa, uya kuthanda ukuxolela ngeephoso. Ngokomzekelo, usenokuba ngumsebenzi wokuba ungene kakuhle ngokusebenza amahlanu ngeveki. Ngelishwa, ukuba ungasetyenziswanga ukuqhuba rhoqo, unokufumana isifo esibuhlungu ukusuka kutshintsho olukhawulezayo, kwaye mhlawumbi ulahle. Kodwa ukubeka injongo ekusebenziseni kanye okanye kabini kwiveki yokuqala, kwaye ungeze ixesha lokuqhuba ixesha elide kuze kube yilapho ususebenze ukufikelela kwinjongo yakho, uya kufaka iinjongo zakho kwaye unandiphe 'impumelelo' emininzi kwinkqubo.
Jabulela iNkqubo
Ungasetyenziselwa ukugxila kwiziphumo, kwaye uzibethe xa iziphumo zakho zingaphantsi kokugqibeleleyo. Enye indlela ebalulekileyo yokubuyisela ekuphelelweni kokugqibelela kukuqala ukugxininisa ngakumbi kwinkqubo yokufikelela kwiinjongo, kunokugxininisa kwinjongo ngokwayo. Isiphakamiso sangaphambilini (ukubeka amanyathelo omntwana) kunokukunceda ukuba wenze inkqubo enonwabo kwindlela ozama ngayo. Unokuyonwabela inkqubo yokufikelela kwiinjongo ngokubandakanyeka kunye neqela elizama ukufezekisa injongo efana nawe okanye emva kweendaba malunga nendlela ozivakalelwa ngayo noko ufundayo njengoko ufikelela kwiinjongo zakho. Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba awufezekanga ukugqibelela, unokwazi ukubuyela emva kwaye ubone konke ofumene ekusebenzeni ngokufanelekileyo ekujoliseni umgomo ofanelekileyo, ukuvavanya nokwazisa ukuzuza kwakho kwenkqubo.
Funda ukuphatha ukuCelwa
Ukuba uthetha ukujonga ukugxekwa njengokuhlaselwa, ukuphendula ngokuzikhusela, utshintsho lwengqondo lunokunceda. Ukugxeka okwenziweyo kunokukunika iingqinisiso ezibalulekileyo malunga nendlela yokuphucula ukusebenza kwakho, ukwenza ukuba iimveliso zakho ezingaphantsi-ezigqibeleleyo zibe ngamatye atyekayo anokukhokelela ekugqibeleni. Ukuba ukugxekwa ofumanayo kuboniswe okanye kunzima, kulungile ukukhumbuza abanye (kunye nawe) ukuba iipazamo ziyindlela enhle yokufunda.