Ngaba Kuninzi Okulindelweyo Ukuphazamisa Ukuthula Kwangaphakathi?
Ukuba uyazibuza ukuba okanye ungenawo uphepheli, unethuba elihle wena, ubuncinane ukuya kwinqanaba. Kwaye ukuba sinyanisekile apha, kukho ithuba elithile lokuba utshintshile ekuzibonakaliseni ukuba uphumelele ngenxa yegama elifanelekileyo "igama eligqibeleleyo" - ngubani ongafuni ukugqibelela endaweni efanelekileyo ?
(Perfectionists, ngubani na!)
Ingxaki yokuphelelisa - kunye nesizathu sokuba ufuna ukwazi ukuba unayo nayiphi na impawu ezigqibeleleyo kunye nento omele uyenze ngayo - kukuba abaphelelisileyo banamathele ekunciphiseni ubuncinane kunye noxinzelelo ngaphezu kokuphumelela ngokukhawuleza. Oko kuthetha ukuba ukugqibelela kwenza kube nzima ukuba ufezekise injongo yokugqibelela, okanye ukufikelela kumntu obalaseleyo. I-Perfectionists yinto enjengeempumelelo eziphezulu, kodwa ngezinye iintlukwano ezibalulekileyo, kwaye oku kwahlukileyo kubalulekile, njengokuba abaphelelisi bavame ukuxinezeleka ngakumbi! Ezi zilandelayo ziimpawu ezilishumi zokuchasana, ukuze ukwazi ukubonakala kuwe okanye kubantu obaziyo. Ngaba naziphi na ezi ziqhelekileyo eziqhelekileyo?
Yonke-Okanye Akukho-Kucingisise:
Abafezekisiweyo, njengeempumelelo eziphezulu, bathambekele ekusekeni iinjongo eziphezulu baze basebenze nzima kubo. Nangona kunjalo, umntu ophakamileyo unako ukwaneliswa ngokwenza umsebenzi omhle kunye nokufezekisa ukugqwesa (okanye into esondeleyo), nokuba ngaba iinjongo eziphezulu kakhulu azidibene ngokupheleleyo.
I-Perfectionists ayiyi kwamkela nto ngaphantsi, kakuhle, ukuphelela. 'Eyona nto igqibeleleyo' ibonakala njengokungaphumeleli.
Iliso elibalulekileyo:
I-Perfectionists ibaluleke ngakumbi kubo nakwabanye kunokuba ziphumelele kakhulu. Nangona ukuphumelela okuphezulu kukukhukhumeza kwizinto ezifezekileyo kwaye kunzima ukuxhasa abanye, abagqibeleleyo bavame ukubona iimpazamo ezincinane kunye nokungapheleli emsebenzini wabo kunye nabo, kunye nabanye kunye nomsebenzi wabo.
Baziva ngaphakathi kwezi zingapheleli kwaye banenkxalabo yokubona nantoni na enye, kwaye banokugweba ngakumbi kwaye bazinzima nakwezinye xa 'ukungaphumeleli' kwenzeka.
"Push" vs "Pull":
Ukuphumelela okuphezulu kudla ukuthathwa kwiinjongo zabo ngomnqweno wokuzifezekisa, kwaye bayavuya xa kukho nawaphi na amanyathelo athathwe ngendlela efanelekileyo. I-Perfectionists, ngakolunye uhlangothi, ithambekele ekubhekiseleleni kwiinjongo zabo ngoloyiko lokungafihli kubo kwaye sibone into engaphantsi kweyona njongo edibeneyo ngokupheleleyo.
Imilinganiselo engabonakaliyo:
Ngelishwa, iinjongo zeengqibelelo azihlali ziqikelela. Nangona ukuphumelela okuphezulu kunokubeka iinjongo zabo eziphezulu, mhlawumbi zivuya xa zifikelelwa kunye, iinjongo zihlala zibeka iinjongo zabo zokuqala. Ngenxa yoko, ukuphumelela okuphezulu kudla ukuba kungonwabi kuphela kodwa kuyaphumelela ngakumbi kunabantu abagqibeleleyo ekupheliseni iinjongo zabo.
Gxininisa kwiziphumo:
Ukuphumelela okuphezulu kukunandipha inkqubo yokuxoshelwa injongo okanye ngaphezulu kunokuba ufikelele ekufikeleleni kwenjongo ngokwayo. Ngapha koko, abagqibeleleyo bajonga injongo kunye nanye into. Banoxhalabele ngokujongana nenjongo kunye nokuphepha ukungaphumeleli okwesaba abangenakuyonwabela inkqubo yokukhula nokuzama.
Uxinezelekile ngeenjongo ezingenakufeza:
I-Perfectionists ayonwabi kakhulu kwaye ilula ngaphezu kokuphumelela okukhulu. Nangona ukuphumelela okuphezulu kukwazi ukubuyisela ngokukhawuleza ngokukhawuleza, ukugqibelela bathambe ngokuzibetha ngakumbi kunye nokuvalelwa kwiimvakalelo eziphazamisayo xa zikulindeleke kakhulu. Oku kukhokelela ekubeni ...
Ukwesaba ukusilela:
I-Perfectionists ixhala ngakumbi ukusilela kunokuba iphumelele kakhulu. Ngenxa yokuba babeka isitokisi esininzi kwiziphumo kwaye badumala gqitha nantoni na ngaphantsi kokugqibelela, ukungaphumeleli kuyinto eyoyikisayo. Kwaye, ekubeni into engaphantsi kokugqibelela ibonakala ngathi 'ukuhluleka', oku kungakhokelela ekubeni ...
Ukucinga ngaphambi kokuba usebenze:
Kubonakala kubonakala ukuba abantu abagqibeleleyo baya kuba neengxaki zokugweba , njengoko loo mpawu ingalimaza umkhiqizo, kodwa ukuphelela nokuzinyameka kudla ukuhamba. Oku kungenxa yokuba, ukwesaba ukungaphumeleli njengokuba benzayo, ngamanye amaxesha abaxhamli bexhalabele kakhulu ngokwenza into engapheleleyo ukuba bahlale bengenakukwazi ukuyenza kwaye bahluleka ukwenza nantoni na! Oku kukhokelela kwiimvakalelo ezininzi zokungaphumeleli, kwaye umjikelezo onobungozi uqhubekile.
Ukukhusela:
Ngenxa yokuba ukusebenza okungaphantsi kokugqibeleleyo kuyabuhlungu kwaye kuyatshitshisa abaphelelisileyo, bathambekele ekuthobeni ukugxeka ngokukhawuleza, ngelixa ukuphumelela okukhulu kunokubona ukugxekwa njengolwazi oluxabisekileyo ekuncedeni ukusebenza kwabo kwikamva.
Ukuzijongela phantsi:
Ukuphumelela okuphezulu kudla ukuba nexabiso elilinganayo; akunjalo ngabagqibeleleyo. Bavame ukuba bazincabise kwaye bangonwabi, kwaye banokuzithemba . Bangakwazi nokuba bodwa okanye bafumaneke njengokuba ubunzima babo kunye nokunyaniseka kungabangela abanye ukuba bahambe. Oku kunokukhokelela ekuzithebeni.
Ukuba ubona ezinye zezici zobungqibelelo kuwe, ungadikibali. Ukuqaphela ukuba utshintsho olufunekayo luyinto ebalulekileyo ebalulekileyo ekudaleni uluntu olungakumbi kwaye luphumelele uxolo lwangaphakathi kunye nempumelelo yangempela evela ekunqobeni ukugqibelela nokukwazi ukuthi 'phantse ukugqibelela' kusengumsebenzi owenziwe kakuhle! Cinga ukuba uphumelele? Le mibuzo ingakuxelela ukuba ukhona. Kwaye ukuba kunjalo, funda eli nqaku ngeengcebiso ezibalulekileyo zokunqoba iimpawu zokugqibelela nokuzonwabisa ubomi bakho, umsebenzi wakho kunye nokuzikhethela kwakho!
Imithombo:
Wirtz PH, uElsenbruch S, Emini L, uRüdisüli K, Groessbauer S, Ehlert U. Ukuphelelisa kunye ne-cortisol impendulo ekunyamezelweni kwengqondo kumadoda. I-Psychosomatic Medicine , ngo-Ephreli 2007.