Izifo eziphazamisayo zengqondo zisoloko zijamelana neenkolelo ezingenangqiqo. Ukuba nenkolelo yenkohlakalo inokwenyuka kwamava akho ngokuxhalaba, ukuhlaselwa kwesoyiki kunye nezinye iimpawu ezibangelwa ukwethuka. Funda phambili ukuze ufunde kabanzi malunga neenkolelo ezingenangqiqo kunye nento ongayenza ukuze unqobe.
Uvelaphi Inkqubo Yakho Yokukholelwa?
Enye imfundiso yendlela esiyiqonda ngayo ihlabathi kwaye senze ngaphakathi kuyo yiphumo lenkqubo yethu yokholo.
Le nkqubo yenkolelo ivela ebuntwaneni bentsapho, isekelwe kwimpembelelo evela kwabanye ababalulekileyo ebomini bethu kunye namava ethu okuphila. Nangona kunjalo, ukuphuhlisa inkqubo yenkolelo akusoloko kuyinkqubo engqiqo ngenxa yokuba iingcinga zethu zisoloko zi sekelwe kwiingcamango ezinengqiqo nangengqiqo.
Izinkolelo ezingenangqiqo nokuzikhukhumeza
U-Albert Ellis, isazi seengqondo seMerika esithathwa njengomkhulu-ntloko we-ctnitive therapy ( CBT) , wafumana ezintathu iinkolelo ezingenangqiqo ezikhokelela ekuzinyeleni:
- "Ndimele ndenze kakuhle kwaye ndiphumelele ukuvunywa kwabanye okanye mhlawumbi andiyinto enhle."
- "Abanye abantu kufuneka bandiphathe ngenyameko nangobulungisa, okanye mhlawumbi ababi kwaye banelungelo lokugwetywa kwaye bahlwaywe."
- "Ndimele ndifumane oko ndiyifunayo, xa ndifuna. Ukuba andifumananga oko ndiyifunayo, yinto embi kwaye ingenakuxolisa. "
Masithi uvakalelwa iimvakalelo ezifana nokudakumba , ukudandatheka okanye ukuvutha umsindo ngenxa yokungakwazi kwakho ukuya kwinkqubo yentlalo ngenxa yokuba ukwesaba ukuhlasela.
Ukwesaba kwakho kokuhlaselwa ngentshutshiso kwintlanganiso yoluntu kunokuhamba into enje:
- "Ukuba ndiba ne-panic attack kwaye kufuneka ndihambe, abantu baya kucinga ukuba ndiyadoda."
- "Andiyi kuvumela umntu ukuba afune ukuba ndifumane ingxaki yokuphazamiseka.
- "Ukuba ndibe ne-panic attack ngexesha lo mcimbi, ndiza kuba neentloni ndingayi kuphinda ndijamelane nabani na."
Mhlawumbi akulona ithemba lokubangela ingxubusho yakho yangaphakathi, kodwa kunoko lwakho lwenkqubo yokholo malunga nokuchaswa okanye ukuhluleka. Umzekelo:
- "Ndimele ndibe nokuvunywa kwamanye okanye ndingenanto."
- "Ukuba umntu undilahla, ndiyaphumeleli."
- "Ndimele ndifezeke ukuze abanye abantu bandithande."
- "Ndimele ndiphumelele."
- "Andifanele ndize ndibonise ubuthathaka okanye abantu baya kucinga kum."
- "Ndimele ndifumane izinto endizifunayo okanye mhlawumbi ndiziva ndingento."
Ukutshintsha iinkolelo ezingenangqiqo
Ngaphambi kokuba sitshintshe iinkolelo zethu ezingenangqiqo, kufuneka siqale sifumane ukuba ziphi. Ukufumanisa iinkolelo ezingenangqondo akuyona into elula kuba baye basebenza ngaphakathi. Ukuze siphikisana kwaye sitshintshe iinkolelo ezingenangqiqo, kufuneka sihambe ngenkqubo yokubona nokuxubusha.
Ukuqwalasela - Kuqhelekile ukuba iinkqubo zeenkolelo ezisezantsi zibe nemida engqongqo. Ngokuvakalayo inkolelo engenangqiqo ibanjwe ngohlobo lwe "kufanele," "kufuneka" kunye "kufanele" lifuna ukuba sibeke thina okanye abanye. Umzekelo:
Ukuxhatshazwa - ngoku ukuba uye waziqonda iinkolelo zakho, lixesha lokuba uxoxe ngazo. Ngaba ingqiqo? Ingaba kunengqiqo ukuba kufuneka uhlale uphumelela? Ngaba ziyinyani? Uyazi njani ukuba abantu baya kucinga ngaphantsi kwakho ukuba bayazi malunga neengxaki zakho zokuphazamiseka kwesifo?
Indlela entsha yokucinga
Ukutshintsha iinkolelo zakho ezingenangqiqo kubangela indlela entsha yokucinga ngawe, abanye kunye nommandla wakho. Olu tshintsho kwiingcamango zakho luya kukhokelela ekutshintsheni kwiimpawu zakho neemvakalelo. Indlela yakho entsha yokucinga ikuvumela ukuba ufikelele kumgangatho wokwamkelwa kwezi ngaphelelo ezaziye zaphazamisa. Njengoko uqhubeka ucelomngeni kwaye uphikisana neenkolelo zakho ezingenangqiqo, zilahlekelwa amandla, kwaye ukhululeka kwimiphumo yazo engokomzwelo.
Umthombo:
> UCorey, uGerald. (2012). Iingcamango nezenzo zokucebisa kunye ne-psychotherapy, i-9th edition . EBelmont, CA: Thomson Brooks / Cole.