Phinda uhlawule ngokubanzi ukukunceda ukulawula uxhala
Ukuba unenkxalabo yokuxhalaba kwentlalo , unokulwa nemibandela ngokucinga okungalunganga. Abantu abaninzi abanomdla wokuxhatshazwa kweentlalo kunye nokugqithisa, ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo kunokudambisa ukuxhalaba, ukuxinezeleka kunye nokwesaba. Funda kabanzi malunga nokugqithisa kunye nendlela yokuyilawula ukuze unciphise uxhalaba lwakho.
Malunga nokugqithisa
Ukugqithisa ngokubanzi ngumcimbi oqhelekileyo ochaphazela kakhulu abo banezifo zengqondo ezifana nokudandatheka okanye uxinzelelo lwexhala.
Kuyikhosi yokucinga apho usebenzisa khona amava kunye nokuvelisa kuwo wonke amava, kuquka nalawo kwixesha elizayo. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba uke wanika inkulumo engalunganga, unokuzicingela wena, "Ndihlala ndihlaziya iintetho. Andize ndikwazi ukuthetha esidlangalaleni ngaphandle kokuphazamisa."
Ukuba unamava aphezulu, unokujonga nayiphi na into engafanelekanga eyenzeka njengenxalenye yesiphene esingenakugwemeka. Ngenxa yokuxhalaba kwintlalo, oku kunokuchaphazela ubomi bakho kakhulu kwaye kukuvimbele yonke imihla yakho. Ukugqithiselela kungonakalisa iingcamango zakho, kukwenze ube nomuzwa wokuthi wonke umntu akakuthandi kwaye awukwazi ukwenza nantoni na.
Ukugqithisa ukuzinqanda ukuzithiba xa uhlala uhlala ekuhlanganiseni lakho. Ezi ngcamango eziqhelekileyo ezinjengokuthi "andiyaneleyo" okanye "andinakuze ndiyenze oko." Ziyakwenza ukuba ungangeni kwimingcipheko okanye amanqanaba alandelayo, ukuphazamisa impilo yakho kunye nobomi bentlalo.
Kodwa ngoxa ukugqithiswa kwangaphambili kungabonakalisa uphawu olubi, luyakwazi ukulawulwa kwaye ukuxhalabisa kunokunciphisa ukucinga kwakhona.
Ukurhoxisa i-Overgeneralizations
Ukurhoxisa yinkqubo apho ufumanisa iingcamango ezimbi okanye ezingenakunceda kwaye uzibuyisele ngokufanelekileyo kunye nokuxhobisa. Yindlela yokutshintsha indlela ojonga ngayo into. Ukurhoxiswa kungasisityebi esinamandla ekulawuleni i-overgeneralizations kunye nokuxhalaba kweentlalo.
Ukurhoxisa yinkqubo enobulungisa enokuthi iqhutywe ekuncedeni ukunciphisa iimpawu zakho:
- Ukuchonga Iimpawu Zakho Zokucinga : Qaphela xa uzifumanisa kakubi ngawe okanye ungenzi imisebenzi ngoba ucinga ukuba uya kuphumelela. Qaphela ngakumbi iingcamango zakho, uze ubhale phantsi kwincwadi. Emva kokuba urekhode ukungahambi kakuhle kwakho, unokwazi ukubona iipateni zeengcamango.
- Ucelomngeni: Khangela iingcamango ozibhalileyo uze uzibuze, "Ngaba oku kunjalo?" Ngaba omnye umntu wayeya kujonga ezo ngcamango ngendlela efanayo? Umngeni ngamnye ngcamango. Awufumani mntu ukhangele ukuba ube nexhala ngexesha le ntetho okanye ubengenangxaki ngexesha elinye. Qaphela iimpumelelo zakho, xa ude ude uhlekise kunye nabahlobo.
- Yenza Ingcamango Yakho: Xa ucinga iingcamango ezingendawo, sebenzisa ukuthetha ngokucinga ukucinga ngokuthe tye. Ngokomzekelo wokuthetha koluntu, endaweni yokucinga "Ndiyisithethi esathusayo kwaye ndihlala ndihlaziya," yitshintshe ngokuthi "Ndikulungele kwaye ndilungele ukuthetha okukhulu." Ukuhlaziywa kwimizimba yokuxhaswa kwamandla kunganqanda ukuxhalaba kwezenhlalakahle kwaye kukuncede ukuba ufikelele kwinkcazo. Jonga amava okubangela ukuba uxhalabe njengengxaki kunokuba usongele.
I-Overgeneralizations ingaba uphawu oluphazamisayo lokuxhalaba kwezenhlalakahle, ukunciphisa indlela onokusebenzisana ngayo nabanye kunye nokukugcina ekufezekiseni konke okufunayo.
Nangona kunjalo, ngokurhoxiswa kakuhle, unokulawula iimpawu zakho kwaye uncedise ukunciphisa uxhalaba lwakho loluntu .
Umthombo:
ULissek, S., uKaczkurkin, A., Rabin, S. et al. "Ukukhathazeka okuxhalabileyo kunye nokugqithiswa kobuNtu boBugcisa." Biological Psychiatry , 909-915, 2014.