Nangona kuluntu lwezonyango ukuqonda ngokubanzi ukusetyenziswa kwezidakamizwa kuyanda, kwaye ukunyanyiswa kuncipha, xa usebenzisa izinto, njengotywala okanye iziyobisi, maxa wambi kunzima ukufumana iinkonzo zonyango. Oogqirha baziwa ngamaxesha athile bachasayo izigulane ezisebenzisa izinto, abo banembali yokusetyenziswa kweziyobisi, okanye abantu abanezinye izilingo.
Olu calulo lunokubonisa kwiindlela ezahlukeneyo.
Ukufumana ugqirha kunokuba nzima. Abantu abaninzi abasebenzisa izinto bafumanisa ukuba kufuneka bafake izicelo kwiiofisi zonyango ukuba babe isigulane, uze ungabuyi kubuya kubo. Abanye bayakwazi ukubona ugqirha, kodwa bafumanisa ukuba ukuba bayichaza imbali yabo yokusetyenziswa kweempahla, abakwazi ukufumana imimiselo yonyango abayidingayo, okanye bayenqatshelwa unyango oluyimfuneko, nangaphandle kweemeko ezibonakala zingalinxulumene nokusetyenziswa kweziyobisi, ngaphandle kokuba bazinikela "ukucoceka nokucoca" kuqala.
Nangona ukwazi ukubona ugqirha, kwaye bakunikezela unyango, ukutyelela ugqirha wakho ngamanye amaxesha kungabangela ukuba uphazamise kunye nezobuhlungu. Ugqirha unokubuza malunga nantoni na ukuba uqale ukusebenzisa izinto-ibali elide kakhulu kunokuba ungene kumzuzu eyi-10, kwaye mhlawumbi omnye awufuni ukuxelela. Unokuziva uxinzelelwe ngugqirha wakho ukuyeka ukusetyenziswa kweziyobisi, njengoko oku kudla ngokuba yinto enokukhathazeka ngayo.
Bangase babuze ukuba ucinga ukusebenzisa kwakhona, xa usuke ungabikho. Kwabanye abantu abanembali yokusetyenziswa kweziyobisi, oku kunokwanela ukuwayeka ekutyelele ugqirha wabo nonke.
Kutheni Kuthetha ukuba oogqirha bahlulele ukulwa nezigulane ezingalindelekanga?
Ulwahlulo olubhekiselele kwizigulane luye lwaqhutywa kwiinkonzo zempilo kwiminyaka emininzi.
Ingakumbi ixesha kunye nesigudu isiguli siyifunayo, mhlawumbi uya kuba nolucalulo. Okugqithiseleyo ukuba ugqirha uya kucelwa ukuba enze into angayiziva ekhululekile ukuyenza, mhlawumbi isigulane siya kucaculwa.
Oku akusiyo isizathu, kwaye akusikho isiphakamiso sokuba ezi ndlela zilungile. Ukuba uyayiqonda kangcono imbono yakho yombono, mhlawumbi unokuqonda kakuhle indlela onokuyifumana ngayo.
Indlela ekhoyo ngayo inkqubo yokunakekelwa kwempilo yempilo, kukho iimeko ezininzi apho oogqirha kunye nabanikezeli benkonzo yezempilo abanakho ukuhlawulwa ukuchitha ixesha elininzi kunye nawe. Bahlawulelwa inani elifanayo lemali nokuba bachitha imizuzu emihlanu nawe okanye iyure nawe. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba unomshuwalense okarhulumente okanye wabucala, ababoneleli ngamnye bonyaka baxubusha ukuba baya kuhlawulelwa kangakanani na uhlobo lwenkonzo nganye. Kwaye ngokudlulileyo kwiminyaka emininzi edlulileyo, loo mali yokuhlawula ihlile.
Khangela ngale ndlela: Kulo msebenzi, uyaqhubeka ukwenza umsebenzi omele ukwenze. Uqhubeka usebenza yonke iiyure omele usebenze, kodwa umphathi wakho unquma ukuhlawula ngaphantsi konyaka kunokuba ukhokhelwa kunyaka odlulileyo, okwakungaphantsi komnyaka ngaphambili, njalo njalo.
Ngaba oku kulungile okanye kulungile? Cha. Kodwa yinyani kuogqirha.
Ukuba uyasebenza, uyazi ukuba kufuneka uhlawule irente, uhlawule abasebenzi bakho (kubandakanywa ninshuwalense yezempilo), hlawula zonke izinto ezisetyenziselwa ukubonelela iinkonzo ozinikelayo-kodwa uhlawulwa ngaphantsi kokuhlawulwa kwakho ngaphambili. Yilokho oogqirha bajamelana nalo.
Isisombululo? Usadinga imali engenayo ngaphambili, mhlawumbi ngaphezulu njengoko iindleko ngokuqhelekileyo zikhuphuka, ngoko ke indlela yodwa yokwenza umehluko kukubona izigulane ezininzi ngosuku. Ukuze ubone izigulane ezininzi, unesithuba esincinane kwisigulane ngasinye. Ukuba unesithuba esincinane, ngoko ufuna enye indlela yokukhusela izigulane ezithatha ixesha elide .
Yingakho kunzima kwizigulane ezinaluphi na ubunzima bokunyamekela unyango lwabo ukubona ugqirha. Okumangalisayo kukuba, abo kwimpilo enempilo banokufikelela lula kwiinkonzo zempilo. Ngelixa kungekho lungelo okanye elungileyo, yindlela indlela yethu yaseMelika yokunakekelwa kwezempilo isebenza ngayo, kwaye kwindlela ethile, indlela yokunakekelwa kwempilo kwamanye amazwe ngokunjalo.
Unokucinga ukuba oku akunandaba-mhlawumbi awukwazi ukusebenza okanye ungafuni ukusebenza, kwaye awukwazi ukuqonda oku. Ugqirha wakho unokuba ngathi ucebile kwaye uyaphumelela xa kuthelekiswa nawe. Kodwa banokuba nexhala lokwenene malunga nokuba bayakwazi ukuqhubeka nokusebenza kwabo. Kubiza ixesha elininzi kunye nemali ukuze ufumane ukufaneleka, ukusetha nokuqhuba umkhuba, ukuhlawula isakhiwo kunye nabasebenzi, kwaye kufuneka babone izigulane ezininzi ukuze zisebenze.
Inkcaso ehambelana neMil
Kukho uhlobo oluthile lokucwaswa kubantu abadinga imilenze, ngakumbi abo babonakala bexhomekeke kwi-painkillers . Kukho imithetho yaseburhulumenteni kunye nemimandla karhulumente eyenza into engaphezu kwezinto ogqirha angathanda ukubonelela ngokubhekiselele kulokho kuthathwa njengomthetho. Ugqirha ophatha izigulane ezibuhlungu ezinokusetyenziswa kweziyobisi angakwazi ukuwela ngokukhawuleza kuloo ndawo-grey kwaye abanjwe phambi kokuba umntu acele iinkcazo.
Oogqirha abaye bawabeka phambili, oku kuthetha ukuba ngokwemigangatho yemigangatho, bachaza imilenze eninzi kunokuba bafanele ukuba (leyo ayisoloko isengqiqweni), baya kulahla iilayisensi zabo. Nangona abalahlekelwa yimvume yabo, nayiphi na indlela yokuphazanyiswa kwimisebenzi yabo ingabangela iingxaki, kwaye kungekhona nje loo dokotela kunye nabasebenzi bayo, kodwa zonke izigulane zakhe. Ngoko, oogqirha banqwenela nje ukujonga izigulane abazi ukuba ngubani ocela uncedo lweentlungu, kunokubeka ingozi kuyo yonke into.
Esinye isizathu sokuba oogqirha abachasayo kwizigulane ezicela imithi yeentlungu azikhathazeki ngokwenene ukuba loo mayeza aya kuba ngaphezulu-asetyenziswe isigulane, okanye athengiswe komnye umntu, onokubakhomaza okanye abulawe. Kule minyaka embalwa edlulileyo, abantu abaninzi baye bahlakulela izilutha kunye nezinye iingxaki ngokumalunga nemithi enyunyiweyo echaziweyo, kwaye kukho abantu abaninzi abafa ngenxa yokudlulelwa kwamanye amazwe , ekubeni bathabathe amaninzi amaninzi kunokuba ngaphambili.
Ubunzima kwi-Relationship Therapy
Oogqirha banakho ubudlelwane bokunyanga kunye nezigulane zabo. Ukuze ubudlelwane bube luncedo, kwaye ukuba ugqirha ukwazi ukunceda isigulane, kukho imfuneko yokuba nethemba. Oogqirha abaninzi banomuzwa ongenakukunceda abantu abanezidakamizwa, kwaye abanye baye bakhatyelwa ngabantu ababenomlingo ngokwawo.
Nangona kungekho mntu ufanele acalucalule ngokusekelwe kwiziganeko ezizimeleyo, kwezinye iimeko, abantu abanezidakamizwa baye baxhaphazwa kwaye bebenobundlobongela oogqirha okanye abasebenzi babo. Basenokuxoka ngokukrakra komlutha wabo okanye ezinye iimpawu, okwenza kube nzima ukuba ugqirha abancede ngokufanelekileyo. Izigulane ezinomlwelwe ngamanye amaxesha zichithwa kwiindlela zokuziphatha eziphathekayo, ezifana nokugqithisa ngokuphindwe kabini , ukuthengisa imithi ngokungekho mthethweni, ukuxoka ngeempawu zabo ukufumana izidakamizwa ezingaphezulu, kunye nokwebiwa kwemithi kunye nezinto zabasebenzi kunye nezinye izigulane.
Nangona oku kungenako ukuziphatha kwakho, kwaye kungenakho iimeko apho uya kwenza ezi zinto, naliphi na ixesha le nzekayo, liqinisa inkcazo yokuba abantu abanezilungo okanye abasebenzisa izinto zonke benza ezi zinto. Xa oogqirha beva ukuba umntu onomlutha akafuni ukuba uncedo lwabo luyeke kodwa lufuna nje ukuwasebenzisa, ukuthatha izigulane ezisebenzisa izinto zingabonakala zinzima ngakumbi kunokuba zifanelekile. Kuze abantu abasebenzisa izinto bekwazi ukutshintsha umfanekiso wabo ongathembeki, ukucalulwa kwaso kuya kuqhubeka.
Into enokuyenza Ukuba ufuna ukubona iDokotela wakho
Isihluthulelo sokunqoba intshutshiso yokuba abantu abasebenzisa izinto kunye nalabo abanezidakamizwa ubuso bamele babe yinto ekhethekileyo. Bonisa intlonelo ngogqirha wakho kunye naye okanye abasebenzi bakhe. Oku kuthetha ukuthatha ixesha lokuqinisekisa ukuba uhlambulukile kwaye ucocekile ekubonakaleni kwakho, uphulaphule ngaphambi kokuba uthethe, kwaye uthetha ngokubhekiselele kubasebenzi kunye noogqirha.
Nangona unokuba uzive udidekile okanye ubenokucaphukisa ngesimo sengqondo soogqirha okanye abasebenzi, qaphela ukuba ungayithuki okanye udideke xa uthetha. Ukusetyenziswa kwezinto kunokuchaphazela ukuzithiba kwabantu, kodwa le yinye ixesha xa kubaluleke kakhulu ukwenza umzamo. Khumbula, ungobuchule kumava akho, kodwa ugqirha yingcali yinto enokukunceda ukuba uphile.
Ukuba ukutyelela ugqirha akuhambelani ngqo nokusetyenziswa kweziyobisi, kwaye akayi kubuza malunga nembali yakho yokusetyenziswa kwezinto, kungenakufuneka ukuba uxoxe naye naye. Nangona kunjalo, ngokuphindaphindiweyo imbali yakho yokusebenzisa imveliso ibalulekile, ke qiniseka ukuba ubaxelela ngale nto xa ubuzwa, kunye nalapho ukhona kwinkqubo yakho yokucinga ngonyango.
Oogqirha abaninzi baya kwiindlela zonyango zonyango kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo, zombini ngenxa yeengxaki zabantu abakhulayo ngenxa yokuthatha imishanguzo-kuquka nemiphumo emibi kunye nezilingo-kwaye ngenxa yokuba ezinye iindlela zonyango zingazinzileyo kunye nokukhetha okunempilo ixesha elide. Ngoko musa ukuthatha loo nto ukuba ugqirha wakho ubonisa indlela engeyiyo unyango ekulawuleni imeko yakho, kwaye uyinike ithuba elifanelekileyo, kunokuba wenze isigqibo ngokukhawuleza akusebenzi.
Ukuba unobandezeleka obungapheliyo kwaye unembali yokusetyenziswa kweziyobisi okanye umlutha, qondanisa ukuba ugqirha wakho unokufuna ukujonga ezinye iindlela zokwenza unyango ezingakubeka engozini yokubuyela kuphinda . Zama ukugcina ingqondo evulekile, kwaye uqaphele ukuba ubuhlungu obungapheliyo bunzima, kodwa akunakwenzeka ukunyanga ngaphandle kwemithi. Kwezinye iimeko, ukuya kwi-doseti ye- methadone ingaba yindlela yokulawula intlungu kunye nokuphepha ukubuyela kwenye i-opioids. Kwamanye amaxesha, ukwenza utshintsho lokuziphatha nokusebenzisa unyango oluthile, olunjengokunciphisa uxinzelelo lwengqondo, lunokusebenza ngokwaneleyo ukulawula. Ezi ndlela aziyi kuvimba intlungu ngendlela efanayo neziyobisi, kodwa aziyi kukulimaza. Akukho mntu unokukwazi ukuphepha intlungu ngokupheleleyo, kwaye indlela engeyiyo unyango ingenza ubomi bubekeke ngaphandle komlutha.