Musa ukubala kumlingani wakho ukuba enze konke
Unokuziva ukuba lakho iqabane alihambisani neemfuno zakho zemvakalelo. Kodwa, iingcali zomtshato kunye neengqondo zeengqondo zivumile ukuba kuphela onokuzanelisa ezo zidingo. Akufanele uqikelele njengesitya esingenanto esingagqibekanga sokuzaliswa ngumlingane wakho. Kufuneka uthwale uxanduva lokuzaliseka kwakho, kwaye indlela efanelekileyo yokwenza oko kukuqwalasela kunye nokwanelisa iimfuno zomlingane wakho kuqala.
Ukuhlangabezana Neemfuno Zomlingani Wakho
Iimfuno zomzwelo "unqwenela ukuba, xa unelisekile, kukushiya unomvakalelo wokonwaba kunye nokwaneliseka, kwaye, xa unganeliseki, kukushiya unomvakalelo wokungonwabi kunye nokukhungatheka," kusho umlobi wezengqondo kunye nomlobi, uDkt Willard F. Harley. , Jr. Iincwadi zakhe ezininzi malunga nomtshato kunye nobudlelwane ziquka, "Izidingo Zakhe, Izidingo Zakhe," ezijolise kwiimfuno zamadoda nabasetyhini kwaye ibonisa amadoda nabafazi ukuba banelise njani loo mfuno kumtshato wabo. Ngokutsho kuka-Harley, ukwanelisa iimfuno zakho zomzwelo kuthetha ukubeka iiminqweno zomtshato wakho phambi kwakho.
I-TwoOfUs.org iyavuma, ithi: "Enye yezitshixo zokuphumelela kwixesha elide, ulwalamano oluzimeleyo luqonda ngokufanelekileyo iimfuno zomzwelo wakho." Awunabo uxanduva lokudibana nazo zonke iimfuno zeqabane lakho, amanqaku enxulumano lwewebhusayithi, kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo kufuneka ubeke ezo zidingo phambi kwakho.
Ezinye zezi zidingo zibandakanya uthando, intetho, ukunyaniseka nokuvuleka, inkxaso yezemali nokuzinikela kweentsapho. Kufana nelizwi elidala: ngothando, xa unika ngokwengeziwe, xa ufumana kwakhona.
Buza into oyifunayo
Emva kokuba usengqondweni yokuba nothando kunye nokunika umlingane, unokuqala ukuxhasa iimfuno zakho - kodwa kufuneka uqaphele malunga nendlela ohamba ngayo ngayo.
Xa ufuna ukuba iqabane lakho lenze uhlobo oluthile lwenzathelo ukuze uhlangabezane nezidingo zakho, ucela ukuba aguquke, uthi uBarton Goldsmith, isifo sengqondo kunye nombhalo wombhali wabhala "kwi-Psychology Today," kwaye oko kuyilungelo elingenakwenzeka. Kunoko, yiba ngqo. Buza into oyifunayo, "kusho uGoldsmith. "Ngaba ufuna ukuguqulwa, ukuqonda okanye ukuhambelana? Kungakhathaliseki ukuba ufuna ntoni, ukucela ngokuthe ngqo kuya kuphucula kakhulu amathuba akho okufumana."
Kodwa, ngoku kufikeleleka ukuba isidingo sokubuyiswa komdlalo siya kudlala. Qhubeka ubonisa lakho iqabane ukuba uyamxabisa kwaye uyamkhathalela. Ngaba ezo zinto, ngokuqhelekileyo, zibeka iimfuno zeqabane lakho phambi kweyakho. "Ukuba umntu uvakalelwa kukuba uya kwenza okusemandleni abo ukugcina uluvo lwakho luphezulu," kusho uGoldsmith. "Ukukhumbuza iqabane lakho ukuba uyazi ukuba ubomi bakho bubhetele kuba ukhona kulo mkhuthaza kwaye unothando kakhulu." Qinisekisa ukuba uyazi ukuba lakho iqabane lifunani kunye nexabiso: Ingaba isidlo esiphekwe ekhaya? I-bouquet of flowers? Isidlo esikhethekileyo kwindawo yokutyela efanelekileyo okanye i-burger esheshayo ekudleni ukutya okukhawulezayo? Ukulungiswa kweso siphophu esivulekileyo okanye isibambo sokuvula umnyango?
Akubalulekanga ukuba yintoni isenzo sobubele esingaba nayo - into ebalulekileyo kukuba iqabane lakho liyazi ukuba lixabiseke - ukuba uyazi oko akufunayo kwaye ufuna kwaye ukulungele ukubonelela ngaphandle kokucelwa.
Le migudu yokuqonda nokuzimisela ukunika ingundoqo kumtshato omhle, kwaye ekugqibeleni, ukuba neemfuno zakho zidibene.
Thatha uxanduva kuwe
Qonda ukuba ulwalamano oludibeneyo neqabane lakho, ukwabelana ngemicimbi - enkulu okanye encinci - kunye nokwakha ubomi kunye. "Xa sithembele ukuba indoda okanye umfazi usisigxina, siyazixhalabisa, kuba akukho mntu uyakwazi ukwanelisa omnye umntu," kusho uMark Altrogge, umfundisi ecaweni yase-Indiana, kunye nomdali wewebhusayithi yebudlelwane. Centre Blazing. "Ukuba nethemba lokuba omnye umntu angakwazi ukuhlangabezana neemfuno zethu ucela uninzi lwabantu."
Okulindelekileyo "ngababulali," kusho u-Altrogge, echaza ukuba bonke abantu bayaphambuka, kwaye bafuna zabo neemfuno zabo. Akunakwenzeka ukuba utshintshe - kwiqabane lakho okanye nawuphi na omnye. "Musa ukujonga apho iqabane lakho lifuna ukutshintsha khona," u-Altrogge uthi. "Khangela apho ufuna ukutshintsha khona. Ungalindelanga umlingane wakho. Ukuba ulindele, zibeke wena."
URobert Fulghum, encwadini yakhe yeklasi, ethi "Yonke into endiyifunayo ngokwenene ndafunda kwi-Kindergarten," ichaze kakuhle kwezinye iimigaqo yakhe eyintloko: yabelana ngayo yonke into, yibamba izandla uze unamathele ndawonye. Ukuba iqabane lakho liyazi ukuba uyamkhathalela kwaye uya kuba khona kuye ngezinto ezinkulu kunye ncinane, unakho amathuba okuphindaphinda. Ukufumana iimfuno zakho zemvakalelo kuqala ngokubelana kunye nokunyamekela iqabane lakho. Umntu ovakalelwa kukuba uyamthanda, unakekelwa kwaye uyakwazisa kakhulu kunokwenzeka ukuba abuyele ngokufanelekileyo.