1 - Iingcebiso zengcali nje ngexesha leeholide
Ieholide ziphezu kwethu kwakhona. Ngaloo nto inokuzonwabisa, kodwa noxinzelelo oluthile. Ieholide zingabangela ukutshatyalaliswa kwimitshato enamandla kakhulu! Imali, amalungu omndeni kunye nokuhamba ngenye imiceli mngeni oyintloko oya kujongana nayo ngeeholide.
Ngoko, oko kuthethwa, iingcali zineengcebiso ezintle zokujongana nemingeni yeli xesha lonyaka!
2 - Ukunyuka, ukuhlawula imali kunye nokunikezelwa kwezipho
Ukulwa nemali kwenzeka ngexesha elithile kwimitshato yonke. Enyanisweni, ezinye izibini zilwa nalo rhoqo. Ngaloo nto, akumangalisi ukuba ixesha leeholide libeka ubuninzi obunzima bexinzelelo kwiqela elithile.
UDavid Routt, umcebisi weengcali elayisenisi e-Idaho, ubonisa ukuba uhlangane njengentsapho ukuba ubhale indlela ozimisele ukuchitha ngayo ngaloo mini. Ngaphezu koko, uthi "ukwahlula isantya njengoko kuyimfuneko. Emva koko, ukugqwesa konke konke, yenza wonke umntu osapho usayine ibhajethi ukuba unako. Kufuneka kubekho uhlobo lwesivumelwano malunga nokuba zeziphi iziphumo zokungahambanga kunye nohlahlo lwabiwo-mali ziya kuba. "Isazi sengqondo seCanada, uDkt. Ganz Ferrance uthatha le nyathelo. Ucebisa, "ukwabela imali ngokuthenga okuthile okanye imisebenzi. Beka ezi mali kwiimvulophu. Emva kokuba imali iphuma kwimvulophu, ivenkile yokuthenga iphelile. "
I-psychologist yaseLos Angeles, esekelwe kwi-Los Angeles, uDkt. Gretchen Kubacky, unokufumana izicwangciso zokuhlawula isabelomali. Uthi "jonga ukuthenga iholide kwimeko yohlahlo lwabiwo-mali lonyaka, kwaye ube nenene malunga nepesenti yebhajethi yakho ofuna ukuyinika ukunikezela ngesipho, ukukhumbula ukuba unyaka uya kuzaliswa nokuzalwa, imikhosi, imitshato , kunye nemvula yamanzi. "Ukwacebisa kwakhona ukuba ngubani oza kuba noxanduva lokuthenga. Ukholelwa, "Oku kuya kugxotha impi, 'wenza ntoni?' iziphakamiso, kunye nohlahlo lwabiwo-mali oluqhubela phambili kunyaka omtsha. "Olunye ucebisa uDkt. Kubacky ufanele axoxe ngezicwangciso zokupha izipho ngokukhawuleza kunye namanye amalungu entsapho kunye nabahlobo. Ngokomzekelo, "ukuphelisa ukupha isipho ukuba awukwazi ukuwufumana okanye awufuni ukuqokelela inqwaba ye-junk awunayo okanye uyifunayo."
UDkt. Ferrance ucinga ukuba kukho uxinzelelo oluninzi lokuzilungelelanisa nezingane, nangona kunjalo, "imali ayifaneli ncam." Uyabona kwakhona, "abazali abaninzi banokulindela izinto ezingenangqiqo kunye neemfuno zabo zokubonelela amava abantwana babo. Ubukho bakho, ixesha, ingqalelo kunye novuyo yiyo a bantwana bakho baya kuvakalelwa baze bakhumbule. "UMichelene Wasil, umtshato onikwe ilayisenisi kunye nosapho lwezempilo eSan Diego uvakalisa le ntliziyo. Ufuna abazali bazibuze, "Ngaba uke wazama ukunikela ngokusondeza endaweni yezipho omnye nomnye? Oku kunokunciphisa uxinzelelo lokuthenga. "Ukwacetyiswa ukuba uchithe ixesha elide kunye kunye nokuchitha imali. Ezinye iingcamango zikaWasil, umzekelo, kufuneka 'zizithande njengentsapho kwiziganeko zoluntu okanye ukhethe intsapho efunekayo kwaye unike.'
3 - Ulwalamano lwentsapho
Emva koko kukho intsapho. Abanye obathandayo, abanye bayayithiyile kwaye abanye bathanda ukuzonda. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba uzive njani ngabo, uya kukwazi ukukwazi kakuhle ukuba wena nomlingane wakho nibuyele.
URabbi Shlomo Slatkin, umcebisi weengcali oqeqeshelwe ilayisenisi kunye neengcali zomtshato e-Maryland unengcebiso efanelekileyo malunga nokubeka imida ngamalungu entsapho enetyhefu. Ucebisa ukuba uchaze iimvakalelo zakho ngothando nangentlonelo. Kwakhona ukholelwa ukuba kulungile ukukhumbuza abazali bakho ukuba bobabini abadala abanokwenza izigqibo zakho. "Ngelishwa, sonke siyazi ngabazali abanenkathazo yokuhlonela imida. Kuloo matyala, unokufuna ukuba uhlale uqinile uze ufumane umyalezo "kusho uRabibi Slatkin. Uyaqhubeka athi "incoko evulekile kunye nomnye malunga nokwesaba kunye nokulindela" malunga nezicwangciso zeeholide kuza kwenza imibhangqwana ithuba lokuxoxa ngezicwangciso zokujongana neengxabano ezingenzeka. "Ukunikezela kwangaphambili kubambiswano kuya kubangela iziphumo ezintle kwaye kunciphise uxinzelelo lomtshato," kusho uRabbi Slatkin.
John Livesay, aka "I-Pitch Whisperer ineempawu ezimbalwa ngaphandle kweengcebiso zebhokisi zokujongana namalungu omtshato onzima okanye angasebenzi. Owokuqala kukuthi "xelele ibali." Ngaloo nto, bathetha ukwabelana ngebali elihle ukuququzelela intsapho yohlobo. Bacebisa ukuba bafike kunye nomntu omnye ukukhaba incoko. "Amabali angabonwa yintsapho, njengokuthi 'khumbula ixesha u-Granddad ebeka amaqabunga kaGogo kwi-oven ukuze abomise?' okanye bangaba mabali amatsha aqinisa into engcono kakhulu yentsapho, "kusho uLivesay. Ugxininisa ukuba amabali kufuneka afumane amanyathelo amathathu: ingxaki yokunqoba, isisombululo kunye nesisombululo.
U-Livesay ucebisa ukuba ulungiselele "iqhosha lokunyusa" imibuzo kwaye uphendule kwangaphambili. Uyazi ukuba baya kubuza. Benza njalo xa ubona. Uya kuqala nini intsapho? Ngaba uvile ngoku kudla okutsha okutsha? Ngaba uya kufumana umsebenzi olungcono ngokukhawuleza? Lungiselela kwaye uvumelane kunye, njengombini, kwiimpendulo zakho, kwaye unamathele kubo. "Uyaqhubeka athi," Ukuzimela akusiyo impendulo. Kucinga ukuba bavela kwindawo elungileyo - kwaye khumbula, izizukulwana ezahlukileyo zinokulindela okuhlukeneyo ngobomi bomsebenzi kunye nomsebenzi. "
Unjingalwazi wezengqondo kunye neengqondo, uDkt. Map Durvasula uyazi kakuhle ukuba abantu abanetyhefu kunye namalungu entsapho banokwenza ieholide ibe nzima kwaye banokuvavanya nobudlelwane obuhle. Ukholelwa ukuba izicwangciso ezintle zivela "ekulawuleni ukulindela." UDkt Durvasula uthi, "Musa ukumangaliswa xa amalungu omndeni enza njengabo njalo unyaka." Isiphakamiso sakhe kukuba "sinqumle ibanzi ebanzi" ngokulula uludwe lwezihloko ezingenakwenzekayo ukuthetha malunga nemimozulu, imidlalo okanye iifilimu). Ngaphezu koko, uthi "unokufumana izizathu ezilungileyo zokusebenzisa isilayidi kude nalaba bantu."
NjengoDkt Durvasula, uLivesay, uthi kwakhona ukulungiselela isicwangciso sokuphuma ngaphambi kwexesha. "Ukuba uyazi ukuba unakho 'ukulahlekelwa' ngaphambi kokuba i-dessert isetyenziswe, yenza isizathu sokuba ushiye. Uya kufuna ukucaca ukususela ekuqaleni kwesiqokelelo esithi 'ngelanga, kuya kufuneka siphume ngokukhawuleza kwangoko,' ngoko akubonakali ngathi uyasabela kwincoko okanye umntu othile. "Ukuba ' Asikwazi ukuhamba ngesinye isizathu, u-Livesay uthi "qi niseka ukuba unendawo engcwele kwindawo ethile kwindawo okanye ngaphandle apho ungaya khona ukupholisa."
U-Wasil uyavumelana nale ngcebiso, kodwa ugxininisa ngokucacileyo ukuba isibini kufuneka "sithandane!" Ngokomzekelo, ucebisa ukuba usebenzise uphawu lwexakeka kumlingane wakho ukuba asebenzise xa kuyimfuneko. "Ukuba uyazi ukuba uMalume u-Eleanor uyisifo se-antagoniser-qinisekisa ukuba iqabane lakho liyakhumbula ukuba unamathela kwikona kunye naye! Mhlawumbi udale "uncedo kum" igama okanye ibinzana, njengokuthi, 'Ndiyathanda imango,' vumela iqabane lakho liyazi ukuba unesidingo ukwenzela ukuba likwazi ukulibandakanya kwaye likukude. Ukujonga okulula kumagumbi ukubonisa ukuba uxinzelelo lwakho kunokunceda uzive ucinga kwaye unike iqabane lakho ithuba lokuza kunceda, "kuchaza uWasil.
Zonke iingcali ziyavuma ukuzama ukugcina iiholide ezonwabile kwaye zijolise kwiintsana. "Khumbula ukuba xa usengumntwana ungayichitha yonke imini udlala neetaki lakho elitsha lokudlala?" Kubuza uDkt Duvasula. Uthi ufanele uhla kwaye udlale kunye nezingane njengoko "kunjalo ngokwenene nangabo." Ukudlala nokuzonwabisa kungabangela abantu ndawonye. "Ngamanye amaxesha unokubangela ukugqithwa kwamalungu entsapho," kusho uDkt. Duvasula.
4 - Ukuhamba
Zingaphi izihlandlo oye wahlala kwisikhumulo seqonga kwixesha leeholide waza wacinga, "ndicinga ntoni ?!" Ukuhamba ngethuba lexesha elibi kakhulu lonyaka kunokukhupha okugqithiseleyo kunabo bobabini.
Nantsi indlela yokwenza okulungileyo kweyo
Iingcali kwiintsapho ezifudumeleyo, uJulia Simens, uyazi indlela yokuhamba ngeeholide. Uthi "ukuchitha imali kwigumbi lehotele kuvame ukuba nemali echithwe kakuhle!" Uthi: "Nangona ikhaya lentsapho linendawo eninzi, yinto efanelekileyo ukwakha kwindawo ethile yokugcina ieholide. Hlalani ehotele ukuze ufumane i-jet lag okanye ufumane indawo yokuthula ukuya kwithuba elide lonke lomcimbi. "Ucebisa ukuba ufumane indawo esondeleyo kangangokuba unokuthabatha abantwana apho ngeyure ukuba ufuna ukuphinda uqokelele . "Ukuba uhamba nje kunye neqabane lakho, shiya umntu omnye kunye nosapho kwaye umvumele omnye umntu abe nexesha lokubuyisela kwakhona. Emva koko utshintshe izikhundla, "utsho uSimens.
Ngaphambi kokuhamba, uDkt Ferrance uyaqaphela ukuba abantu "basebenze de kube yiminci yokugqibela, bagxume emotweni okanye bafumane 'isobala elibomvu' ngaphandle kwedolophu." Uyachaza, "Ukwazi ukulwa xa usuke ukhathele, abalambileyo okanye abagxininisekile. Yenza wena (kunye nawo wonke umntu odibene naye) inceba - uphumle uze udle ngaphambi kokuba uphume. "Ukwacebisa abantu ukuba bazenzele ngokuzenzekelayo kwi-25% eyongezelelweyo ixesha lokulibaziseka kunye neziganeko zokunciphisa uxinzelelo kunye nokukhungatheka malunga nento enokwenzeka kwenzeka njalo. Ekupheleni kohambo lwakho, uDkt. Durvasula weluleka abantu ukuba bangabi "batshabalalise umhlaba emva kokubuya kwakho" nokuba. Esikhundleni saloo nto, "ndakhele ixesha lokuzinyamekela njengokuzivocavoca, ukucamngca, ixesha kunye nabahlobo abangenabo bentsapho ukuze ungavumeli ukuba abantu bafune ukuba bathathe ixabiso," utsho.
5 - Uya Kuphila
UWasil uthi, "Khumbula, usaphila kunyaka odlulileyo kwaye uza kuphinda ubuyele kulo nyaka."
Ingaba kuchitha imali, ukuhamba, okanye ukujongana nosapho, izibini zibonakala zizisa ingcinezelo engadingekanga ngexesha leeholide. Iingcali zinike isiluleko esilungileyo sokuhlala sineengxaki xa kufikelele kwimingeni yonyaka. Kwaye uDkt. Durvasua unokucinga okokugqibela: "Ubomi bakho abudingeki ukuba ube ngumagazini wesigidimi esasasazekayo. Ukulula kulula, kwaye sihlala sikhumbula ukuba ukuphelelwa ngumtsalane kunomphefumlo ophezulu ngaphezu kwetafile. "