Indlela yokunciphisa ukuzithethelela okungafanelekanga
Sonke sinokugxeka kwangaphakathi. Ngamanye amaxesha eli lizwi elincinci lingaba luncedo kwaye lisigcine sishukumisele ukufikelela kwiinjongo-njengokuba xa lo mgxekayo ekhumbuza ukuba oko sikukukutya akusiyo impilo okanye oko siza kuyenza kungabi kubulumko. Nangona kunjalo, eli lizwi elincinci lingahlala lonakalise ngakumbi kuncedo, ingakumbi xa lifika kwindawo yokudlulela.
Oku kwaziwa ngokuba yintetho yokuzimela , kwaye inokusihlalisa.
Ukuzithethi-ntetho yintetho yinto eninzi esinayo kumaxesha ngamaxesha, kwaye ivela ngeendlela ezininzi. Kwakhona kubangela uxinzelelo olunzulu , kungekhona kuthi kuphela kodwa kulabo abasondezayo ukuba asinakucinge. Nakhu okufuneka ukwazi malunga nokuthetha okubi kunye nemiphumo yakho emzimbeni wakho, ingqondo yakho, ubomi bakho kunye nabathandekayo bakho. Funda ngeendlela ezixabisekileyo zokuqaphela nokutshintsha nayiphi na indlela yokuziphatha engenzileyo.
Ziziphi Iingxaki zokuziThetha?
Ukuzithetha ngokwabo kungathatha iindidi ezininzi. Iyakwazi ukuzwakala isiseko ("andilungile kule nto, ngoko ndimele ndiphephe ukuzama ukukhuseleko lwam," umzekelo) okanye inokutsalathisa ngokuthe tye ("andinakuyenza into enhle!"). Kungathatha ukuvakalelwa kwimeko yokwenza umlinganiselo ("Ndifumana nje" C "kule vavanyo. Ndicinga ukuba andilungile kwizibalo."), Kuphela ukuba ibe ngongoma-mbango ( "Mhlawumbi ndiyahluleka kule klasi kwaye ndize ndikwazi ukuya kwikholejini elungileyo.").
Imisitho ye-self-talk yakho, okanye "umgxeka ongaphakathi," inokuvakala ngokufana nomzali onzima okanye umngane kwixesha elidlulileyo. Iyakwazi ukulandela indlela ephazamisayo yokuphazamiseka kwengqondo : ukuphazamisa , ukugxeka, kunye nokunye okunjalo. Ngokwenene, ukuzithetha okungekho nto nayiphi na ingxoxo engaphakathi enokuthi ingabinciphisa amandla akho okukholelwa kuwe kunye namakhono akho, kwaye ufikelele ekusebenzeni kwakho.
Ingaba nayiphi na ingcamango eyanciphisa wena kunye nokwazi kwakho ukwenza utshintsho oluhle ebomini bakho okanye ukuzithemba kwakho ngokwenza kwakho. Ngenxa yoko, ukuzithetha okungekho nto kungekuphela kokuxinezeleka, kodwa kunokwenza ukuba impumelelo yakho iphumelele .
I-Self Heat Self-Talk
Ukuzithetha ngokuthetha kakubi kungasichaphazela kwezinye iindlela ezimazayo. Izifundo ziye zadibanisa ukuzithetha okungekho nto kunye namazinga aphezulu oxinzelelo kunye namazinga aphantsi okuzithemba. Oku kunokukhokelela ekunciphiseni intshukumiso kunye neemvakalelo ezinkulu zokungancedi. Olu hlobo lwencoko yongxamiseko lwangaphakathi luye lwadibaniswa nokuxinezeleka, ngoko ke into enokuyilungisa.
Abo bafumene bahlala bezithetha ngokuzithethileyo banamathele ngakumbi. Oku kuyingxenye enkulu ngenxa yokuba inyaniso yabo iyatshintshwa ukuze benze amava apho abanako ukufikelela kwiinjongo abazibekelele zona. Oku kubangelwa kukunciphisa amandla okubona amathuba okubaphazamisa kunye nokunciphisa ukutyekela ukuzithuthukisa kula mathuba. Oku kuthetha ukuba imbono ephakamileyo yoxinzelelo ibangelwa kokubona nje kunye nokutshintsha kwimiqathango evela kubo. Ezi zilandelayo ziphumo ezibi kakhulu zokuzibamba okubi.
- Ukucinga okuthe ngqo. Uzixelele ukuba awukwazi ukwenza into, kwaye xa uvakalelwa ngakumbi, ukukholelwa ngakumbi.
- Perfectionism. Uqala ukukholelwa ngokwenene ukuba "mkhulu" awunjalo nje "opheleleyo," kwaye ukufezekisa okunene kufumaneka. (Ngokwahlukileyo, ukuphumelela okuphezulu kudla ukukwenza ngcono kunokuba babelungelelanise nabo kuba bahlala becinezelekile kwaye banelisekile ngomsebenzi owenziwe kakuhle kunokuba bawucinge kwaye bazinge kwizinto ezinokuba ngcono.
- Imiva yokudakumba . Olunye uphando luye lwabonisa ukuba ukuzithethelela okungekho nto kunokukhokelela ekudakaleni kwemiva yokudakumba. Ukuba ukushiywa kungakhange kuhlolwe, oku kungabonakalisa.
- Mngeni. Ingaba ukuzigxeka kwakho rhoqo kukukwenza ubonakale unesidingo kwaye ungakhuseli okanye uguqule ukuthetha kwakho okungekho nto kwizinto eziqhelekileyo eziphazamisayo abanye, ukungabikho koqhagamshelwano kunye nokuba "ukudlala" inani lokugxeka kungathatha inzuzo.
Enye yeengxaki ezingabonakaliyo zokuzithetha ngokungekho nto kukuthi akukho nto. Oku kukuzwakala kulula, kodwa uphando lubonise ukuba ukuzithetha ngokuzenzekelayo kukuyilungelelaniso lempumelelo.
Ngokomzekelo, uphando oluthile lwabadlali baqhathanisa iintlobo ezine ezahlukeneyo zokuzithetha (ukufundisa: apho abagijimi bezikhumbuza izinto ezizodwa zokwenza ukudlala ngcono, ukukhuthaza: ukuthetha ngokwabo okugcina abantu bebenomsebenzi, bahle, bahle kwaye bafumene ukuba ukuzithetha okulungileyo kukuyena mkhulu wokuphumelela. Abantu abazange bazikhumbuze indlela yokwenza into efana nokufuneka baxelele ukuba benza into ebalulekileyo kwaye abanye bayayiqaphela kwakhona.
Indlela yokunciphisa ukuzithethelela okungafanelekanga
Kukho iindlela ezahlukileyo zokunciphisa ukuthetha ngokwakho kwimpilo yakho yemihla ngemihla.
Catch Your Critic
Funda ukuphawula xa ubaluleke kakhulu ukuze uqale ukuyeka. Ngokomzekelo, phawula xa uthetha izinto kuwe ukuba awuyi kuthetha kumhlobo omhle okanye umntwana.
Khumbula ukuba iingcamango neemvakalelo azihlali zikhona
Izinto ezicinga izinto ezimbi malunga nawe ungathi uzive ngokugqithiseleyo, kodwa iingcamango zakho neemvakalelo zakho ngokuqinisekileyo akunakucingelwa njengolwazi oluchanileyo. Iingcamango zakho zinokubanjelwa njengabo bonke abantu, ngokuxhomekeke kwizinto eziphazamisayo kunye nempembelelo yakho.
Nika Isibhengezo Sakho Sengaphakathi
Kwaye kwakukho umgca we-Live Night obizwa ngo-Debbie Downer. Wayeza kufumana ingxaki kunoma yiphina imeko. Ukuba umgxeki wakho wangaphakathi unalo lobu buchule, unokuzixelela, "UDebbie Downer wenza into yakhe kwakhona."
Xa ucinga ngomgxeki wakho wangaphakathi njengamandla ngaphandle kwakho kwaye usinike nesiteketiso esingenakuqhafaza, akulula nje ukuba uqaphele ukuba akudingeki ukuba uvumelane, kodwa kuba yingozi kakhulu kwaye kulula ukubona indlela zakho iingcamango ezingundoqo.
Qinisekisa Ukungafani
Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba uthatha inxaxheba ekutheni ungathethi, kuthetha ukuncedisa umonakalo ukuba ilizwi elingaphakathi lingabangela ngokuvumela ukuba ugxeke izinto ezithile ebomini bakho, okanye ube yinto engafanelekanga kweyure ngosuku lwakho. Oku kufaka umda malunga nokuba kungakanani ukungabikho komsebenzi okungavela kwiimeko.
Sitshintsha ukungabikho kokungathathi hlangothi
Xa uzibandakanya kwi-self-intetho engalunganga, unokukwazi ukuzibamba, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha kunokuba nzima ukuzinyanzela ukuba umise umzila weengcamango kwimizila yawo. Ngokuqhelekileyo kulula kakhulu ukutshintsha ubukhulu bolwimi lwakho. "Andikwazi ukuma oku" kuba, "Le nto inzima." "Ndiyayithiya ..." iba, "Andiyithandi ..." kwaye, "Andiyithandi ..." Xa u-intetho yakho isebenzisa ulwimi oluthe tye, uninzi lwawo amandla angalunganga lugxothwa kakuhle.
UkuPhonononga IsiCwangciso Sakho Sengaphakathi
Enye yeemeko ezilimazayo zokuzithetha ngokuzithethileyo kukuba idla ngokungahambi. Emva kwakho konke, ukuba ngaba ukuhlaziya okuqhubekayo kwentloko yakho, abanye bangenakuqonda oko utshoyo kuwe kwaye ngaloo ndlela akanakukuxelela ukuba ungalunganga kangakanani. Kungcono kakhulu ukubamba ukuthetha kwakho okungekho nto kwaye uzibuze ukuba yinyani. Ubuninzi bobuqu bokuthetha kakubi kukugqwetha, kwaye ukuzibiza kule nto kunokukunceda ukuba uthathe umonakalo owonakalisayo wokuzithetha.
Cinga Njenge Mhlobo
Xa isigxeko sethu sangaphakathi sisona sibi kakhulu, sinokubonakala ngathi sisitha sethu esibi kakhulu. Ngokuqhelekileyo siza kuthetha izinto ezintloko zethu esingaze sitsho kumhlobo. Kutheni ungaphinde uguqule oku kwaye-xa uzibamba kakubi ekhanda lakho - yenza ukuba ucinga ukuba uthetha lo mhlobo oxabisekileyo. Ukuba uyazi ukuba awuyi kuthetha ngale ndlela, cinga ngendlela owabelana ngayo iingcinga zakho nomhlobo omhle okanye into oyithandayo umhlobo onokuthi akuxele kuwe. Le yindlela enhle yokutshintsha ukuthetha kwakho ngokubanzi.
Shift Perspective
Ngamanye amaxesha ukujonga izinto kwixesha elide kunokukunceda uqaphele ukuba unokuba ugxininisa kakhulu into ethile. Umzekelo, unokuzibuza ukuba into enokucaphukisa ngayo iya kuba yinto emalunga neminyaka emihlanu okanye yeshumi. Enye indlela yokuguqulwa kwimiba kukucinga ukuba uphumelela kwaye ujonge iingxaki zakho ukusuka kude. Nokuba ucinge ngehlabathi njengehlabathi kunye nawe njengomntu omncinci, omncinci kule hlabathi ungakhumbuza ukuba uninzi lweengxakini zakho azinzima njengoko zibonakala ngathi. Oku kunokunciphisa ukungabi nantoni, ukwesaba, kunye nokuphuthuma kwiintetho ezimbi.
Yithi Yiphumelele
Ngamanye amaxesha xa uzibamba ukucinga iingcamango ezingekho engqondweni yakho, ukuzithetha ngokuzwakalayo kunokunceda. Ukuxelela umhlobo othembekileyo oko ucinga ngako kunokukhokelela ekuhlekeleni okuhle kwaye kukhanye ukukhanya kwindlela yokunyaniseka kwezinye iintetho zethu ezibi. Ngamanye amaxesha, unako ukuzisa inkxaso. Nditsho nokuba ezinye iincwadana ezizenzekelayo ezizenzekelayo ngaphantsi komphefumlo wakho ziyakunikhumbuza indlela engacabangiyo nangenangqiqo ezizwakalayo, kwaye ikukhumbuze ukuba uzenzele ikhefu.
Yeka loo nto
Kwabanye, ukumisa iingcamango ezingekho ematyaleni abo kunokunceda. Oku, ngokungaqinisekiyo, kwaziwa ngokuba "ukuyeka ukucinga" kwaye ungathatha ifom yokubamba iqela le-rubber kwisandla sakho, ukujonga uphawu lokuma, okanye ukutshintsha nje kwenye ingcinga xa uqeqesho olubi lwangena engqondweni yakho. Oku kunokuba luncedo ngokuphindaphindiweyo okanye iingcamango ezinzulu kakhulu, "Andikho nto," okanye, "Andiyi kukwazi ukwenza oku," umzekelo.
Yenza Indawo Engalungileyo Yenza Okulungileyo
Le ngenye yeendlela eziphambili zokulwa nokuzithemba okuzenzileyo: ukuyifakela into engcono. Thatha ingcamango embi uze uyitshintshe into ekhuthazayo echanekileyo. Phinda uphinde ufumane ukufuna ukwenza njalo ngaphantsi. Oku kusebenza kakuhle nemikhwa emibi: ukutshintsha ukutya okungenakulungileyo kunye nokutya okunempilo, umzekelo, kwaye kuyindlela enhle yokuphucula indlela efanelekileyo yokucinga ngawe nangobomi.
> Imithombo:
> Sanchez, Carvival, naseSaggiomo. Ukuzithetha kunye nokusebenza kwezemfundo kubafundi besikolo esiphantsi. Anales de Psicología, Vol. 32 Issue 1, p139-147, 9p.
> Tod, Hardy, no-Oliver. Imiphumo yokuzithetha-intetho: Uhlolo lokuHlola. Umbhalo weMidlalo kunye nokuzivocavoca kwengqondo ngo-Okthoba 2011, Vol. 33 Issue 5, p666 22p.