Ukuphatha kakubi isicwangciso esihle soqhagamshelwano
Abantu abaphatha impembelelo nokulawula abanye ngokusebenzisa ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo kunye nokuxhaphazwa ngokomzwelo. Injongo kukuba namandla kunye nokulawula kuwe ukuze uthole oko bafuna. Abaphathi bamagama bazi ukuba ubuthathaka bakho bunjani kwaye basebenzise oku. Oku kuya kuhlala kwenzeka ngaphandle kokuba usebenze ngokuzimeleyo kwaye uyigweme. Oku kunzima emtshatweni njengoko ukuphathwa kakubi kunokuqalisa ukucoca.
Kungekudala, oku kungaba yintshukumo yosuku lwakho lolwalamano lwakho neqabane lakho.
Uninzi lwabantu luyazi indlela yokulawula. Kodwa, sikhetha ezinye iindlela ezivuthiweyo nezempilweni zokusebenzisana nabanye. Ngokukodwa emtshatweni okanye nolunye ulwalamano olunothando, baninzi bazama ukuhlonipha iqabane lethu ngokuthetha ngokuthe tye nangokunyanisekileyo.
Ukunyanzeliswa, nangona kudla ngokucokisekileyo, kuya kukwacaca. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba, ukuphathwa kakubi kumtshato wakho. Umzekelo:
Ezifihlakeleyo: "Ngaba unaso naziphi na izicwangciso ngokuhlwa?"Kucacile: "Ukuba ungandithanda, uya ku-movie kunye nam namhlanje ebusuku."
Ukuthetha ngokuthe ngqo nangokunyanisekileyo: "Ndingathanda ukuya kumabhayisikobho namhlanje ebusuku. Ukuba awunaso naziphi izicwangciso ngokuhlwa, uya kuhamba nam?"
Amacandelo okuPhatha
- Ukulahlwa ngokwesondo okanye uthando
- Ukubamba imali okanye into exabisekileyo
- Ukwenza ube neentloni okanye uhlazo
- Ukukhala
- Ukuthotywa
- Ukurhoxiswa okanye ukuphepha
- Ukunikezela "unyango oluthile"
- Ukuxhoma
- Whining
- Ukuba nomsindo
- Ukukhupha izisongelo kunye neziphumo zokugqibela
- Ukukhohlisa okanye ukuphikisa inyaniso
- Ukugxeka kunye nokungavumi
- Ukungaqondi
- Ukumangalela
- Ukunyanzelisa
- Ukubonakalisa ukudumala okunyanisekileyo
- Ukubamba okanye ukufihla ulwazi
- Ukuphikisa amagama (okanye intsingiselo yamagama) uthethe
Ezinye izizathu zokuba kutheni umntu oLawulayo
- Sohlwaya
- Ukulawula nokulawula
- Ukutshintsha iqabane
- Ukufumana ingqwalasela
- Ukuze ufumane intlungu
- Ukugqoka umlingane phantsi
- Ukubeka umlingane wakho uhambo olutyala
- Ukufumana indlela yakho
- Ukuqinisekisa ukuba iimfuno zakho zidibene
- Ngezinye iinjongo zobuqu
Iziphumo zokuPhatha
- Imvakalelo engebiyo njengokunganeliseki, inzondo, inzondo, umsindo kunye nokuphazamiseka
- Ingqiqo enkulu yokuzithemba
- Zisoloko uzivikela
- Ukuxolisa ngokuphindaphindiweyo, nangona uthanda ukuba awuzange wenze into engalunganga
- Ukungabi nokholo kumlingane wakho
- Ukungabi nokhuseleko kumtshato
- Ukunganeliseki ngokupheleleyo kunye nolwalamano
- Umtshato unokuthi unqabiseke kalula
Ukuxhaphazwa kunye neendlela ezifanayo zokuxhaphazwa ngokomzimba azivunyelwanga kumlingane othandanayo (okanye nawuphi na umntu ebomini bakho ngolu hlobo). Qaphela kwaye wamukelise ukuba ukunyanzeliswa kukwahlukunyezwa kwemvakalelo. Yindlela eqhelekileyo yokuxhaphazwa ngokomzwelo nangomlomo. Ukuziphatha okungafaneleko kufuneka kuhlonishwe kwaye kususwe kumtshato wakho.
"Kwimeko yayo embi kakhulu, ukunyanzelisa kungumzamo womnye umlingane ukulawula omnye: 'Uya kwenza oku, okanye mhlawumbi.' Mhlawumbi 'okanye' kuya kubangela ukwesaba okwaneleyo kwiqabane eliza kukufumana, kodwa utshintsho luya kuba lwangaphandle kwaye lusexeshana. Utshintsho lwangempela luvela ngaphakathi, kungekhona ekusebenziseni iimeko. " UGary D. Chapman kwiNkqubo yoPhuculo lwaseKhaya: Isikhokelo seChapman sokuTshintshisana noTshintsho lwenu (2006)
Indlela Yokuyeka Ukunyanzelisa Umtshato Wakho
- Qaphela xa wena okanye lakho iqabane lixhaphaza.
- Xelela lakho iqabane xa ufumana ukusetyenziswa. Yibani ngokucacileyo ekuchazeni ukuphathwa kunye neemvakalelo zakho.
- Musa ukwenza ngokungathi ukuphathwa kakubi.
- Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba usebenzisa, hlala phakathi kwesivakalisi. Yiba ngakumbi ngqo kumbuzo okanye kwizitatimenti zakho.
- Ukuba ukuxhaphaza emtshatweni wakho kuqhubeka, fumana umcebisi womtshato ukukunceda zombini ukutshintsha indlela yokuziphatha.
Omnye owenza ulwalamano lwabo abadala angabakho kwiintsapho ezingabalulekanga (intsapho ekhulayo).
Lo mntu usenokufuneka asebenze ukuze afumane iimfuno ezisisiseko okanye aphephe isigwebo esibuhlungu. Ngaphandle koko, umntu obenokusetyenziswa ngabazali bakhe kwaye wafunda le ndlela engalungileyo yokusebenzisana nabanye.
Ukunyanzelisa kungabonakala ngathi kulula okanye yendalo indlela yokujongana nombandela onzima okanye ukufumana izinto ngendlela ofuna ngayo, kodwa ekuhambeni kwexesha, akunjalo. Ukuxhatshazwa kukulimaza kwaye kuyonakalisa ubuhlobo bakho bomtshato. Bobabini kunye neqabane lakho nifanele ukuthetha ngokunyanisekileyo nangothando.
* I-Article ihlaziywe nguMarni Feuerman