Yintoni Oyenzayo Ngayo
Unyule umphathiswa ofanelekileyo, ufumane uncedo oluncedo kwimibandela yokuqala oyifunayo ngoncedo, kwaye ngoku, uyathandana nomgqirha wakho.
Ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba uthandane nomthandi wakho, awuyedwa. Unyango luyinkqubo ecwangcisiweyo, kwaye ngokwenene iyaqheleke ngakumbi kunokuba uyayiqonda ukuba uhlakulele iimvakalelo zothando ngelapha.
Umphathiswa omhle uya kunika indawo ekhuselekileyo yokuchazela iimfihlelo zakho ezijulile kwaye uya kwamkela kungakhathaliseki ukuba yintoni. Baza kunika iimpawu ezi-3 eziphambili kuyo nayiphi na ubuhlobo obuhle abantu abayidingayo ngokubanzi. Kucacisa ukuba kutheni ukuba ukhuseleko nokwamkelwa kungabonakala, ngakumbi ukuba awufumani kwabanye abantu ebomini bakho.
Yivume
Okokuqala, qaphela ukuba awuyena umntu ohlazileyo okanye ohlazo ngokuba neemvakalelo. Kukho ngokwenene igama kwi- psychoanalytic incwadi ebhekisela kwiimvakalelo zesigulane malunga nomgudu wakhe obizwa ngokuba yi-transference, yinto apho iimvakalelo zegunya lomntu ngaphambili "zidluliselwa" kumgqirha. Ukuwela othandweni nomphengululi wakho kungaba yinto eqhelekileyo kunokuba uqaphele.
Emva kokuba uqaphele ukuba awuyena mntu wokuqala ukuthanda nothando lwakho kunye nokuba awuyena mntu mbi ngenxa yalo, uthetha ngawo. Ukuthi uthandana nothando lwakho kunokuba lula kunokutsho, kodwa kubaluleke kakhulu ukufumana unyango, kubalulekile ukuxoxa.
Udokotela wakho kufuneka akwazi ukukunceda uhlolisise le mvakalelo kwaye mhlawumbi uya kukhula kule nkqubo kwaye ufunde kuyo. Umgqirha wakho usenokukwazi ukuba uvakalelwa.
Kuthetha ukuthini ukuba uwele ngenxa yonyango wakho?
Impendulo yalo mbuzo, ngokuqinisekileyo, ixhomekeke kuwe, kodwa inkqubo yokwelapha iya kunceda uhlolisise oko kuthetha ukuba uye wawela kumcuphi wakho kunye nento yokwenza ngayo.
Mhlawumbi umzekelo ebomini bakho, ngokuqhelekileyo, kukuba uhlala uthanda nabantu abangenakuthola, kwaye umgqirha wakho ungomnye umzekelo wabanye bala bantu. Okanye, mhlawumbi awuzange ube naloo mfudumalo kunye nokwamkelwa komntu, kwaye ingcamango yalo iyinxilongo kuwe. Oku kuya kuba nengqiqo kuba njengabantu sonke sifuna umntu ukuba akhathalele kwaye asamkele. Ingcali yakho kufuneka ikuncede ukuba uyiqonde le mvakalelo, kwaye xa ufumana ngaphezulu kokusingatha kwizinto ezenzekayo, uya kuba nokukhula komntu ngenxa yoko.
Uza kuthatha njani umphathiswa wakho ukuva ukuba uyabathanda nabo?
Iingcali eziqeqeshekileyo kunye nabaqeqeshiweyo baya kuvuleka kwaye bayamkela kwingxoxo malunga nemizwa yakho kubo. Ulwaphulo luyindawo ekhuselekileyo yokuxubusha iinkqubo zomntu kunye nokukhula kobuqu obunokuthi kwenzeke ekubeni wenze njalo. Umphathiswa wakho kufuneka aphathe le ngxelo ngokumnandi kwaye ahlolisise nawe.
Kubalulekile ukwazi ukuba ubudlelwane bokuthandana abufanelekanga phakathi kweengcali kunye nabaxhasi, kwaye kuya kumgqirha wakho ukuxhasa lo mda. Unyango luyinxalenye eyodwa , ngokungafani nolunye ulwalamano ebomini. Ngokwabelana ngamava akho angamavakalelo kunye ngamanye amafihli kunye nomgulisi wakho, uyazivula kwaye usengozini, oku kubaluleke kakhulu ukufumana uninzi kule nkqubo.
Ukuba ke, nangona kunjalo, u-ophashalazi wakho usebenzise inxaxheba kulo mkhuhlane kwaye uvuselela iimvakalelo ngaloo ndlela, oku kuphulwa ngokucacileyo kokuziphatha. Ukuba oku kwenzeka kwonyango, kufuneka uphelise inkqubo yonyango kwaye ucinge ingxelo yengcali kumbhodi welizwe ukuba uziva ukhululekile ukwenza njalo.