Njengoko kukhwankqisayo njengokuthi uvalelwe ngaphandle, kukho okungaphezulu kokuhlangabeza iso
Ukuvalwa ngokupheleleyo ngexesha lempikiswano, eyaziwa nangokuthi ukulungiswa kwamatye kukugatya okuqhubekayo ukuthetha okanye ukuvakalisa ngokwasemzimbeni. Ngokuqhelekileyo kuvela kwelinye iqabane ngexesha lempikiswano. Abantu abenza oku bahlala bezama ukukhusela iingxoxo ezingase ziqhube emlwaneni.
Kwabanye abantu, ukuxabana ebudlelwaneni obusondeleyo kunokuba bunzima kwaye banoyike.
Iqabane elithintela ukuthetha okanye ukucima lenza umzamo ongenakuphumelela wokuphepha ingxabano.
Oku Kungabonakala:
- Ukungafuni ukuxoxa ngeemvakalelo
- Ukukhusela ngokubanzi ukuxoxa ngeemvakalelo
- Akuyi kuzisa izihloko ezishisayo zeengxoxo
- Ukugxothwa kweenkxalabo zeqabane xa zikhuliswe
- Ukungafuni ukwenza iinkcukacha ezingabonakaliyo
- Ukuhamba ngokukhawuleza ngexesha lokuxoxa (okanye ukushiya indlu)
- Ukungaphenduli kwimibandela
Ukuziphatha kohlobo lwe-Stonewalling kwenzeka kwi-continuum. Oku kunokuluhlula ukukhanyela ukuxubusha ingxaki ngexesha elifutshane eliya kuhoxiswa ngokupheleleyo kwiinyanga. Ukuguqulwa kwamatye kungabonakalisa isicwangciso esichukumisayo, esinobuqili okanye esilawulayo. Ukubethelwa ngamatye ngamatyala ngokuqhelekileyo kuyindlela yokukhupha imeko kunye nokuthintela iqabane labo ukufumana ezinye iindlela zokusombulula ingxabano.
Isiphelo sokufumana ukuCima
Umlingani wokuvalela unokuziva engenathemba, ukulahleka kolawulo, kunye nokungaziqondi kakuhle.
Oku kubuhlungu kakhulu kwaye kuphazamise umlingane onqwenela ukuxubusha ummandla weengxabano. Ukuziva uvalelwe ngaphandle kunokubangela ukuba iqabane liye linyuka kwaye lenze izinto ezizisolayo kwizame zokufumana iqabane elixutywe ngamatye ukuvula.
Ukuguqulwa kwamatye kungaba yindlela yokuzikhusela efundwa ebuntwaneni.
Kusenokuba isicwangciso esichukumisayo esisebenza kakuhle kuxhomekeka kwimbali yosapho yokuqala. Kamva, ngobudlelwane obudala, asebenzi kakuhle nonke. Abanye abantu banokuba nobunzima bokuchonga nokubonisa iimvakalelo ngokunjalo nento abayifunayo malunga neemvakalelo ezikhulayo.
Ukunika iWallwallers Inzuzo Yokungabaza
Kwinqanaba le-stonewaller elikhuselayo, (ukuchasene nesigwebo okanye isalathisi eseluncedo), imfazwe ivame kakhulu. Bakholelwa (bengazi kakuhle) ukukhetha kwabo kuphela ukuwuvala (i-stonewall). Le ndlela yokuvala ingxaki yisoloko isisiphumo sokwesaba kunye nesilingo sokuzilawula ngokwasemzimbeni.
Ngokomphando, amadoda athile ngokuqhelekileyo "asabela ngokungavumelani nempawu ezininzi zokunyamezela ngokwasemzimbeni kunabesifazana, kwaye ngenxa yoko, baye baboniswa ukuba banokuthi bangene kwinqanaba labafazi, kaninzi bezama ukuhlala bengathathi hlangothi okanye baphephe ukungqubuzana." ~ Goodtherapy.org blog
Amava aphantsi komntu ovalayo, agweme okanye aphephe ukungquzulana akuyiyo into edibana nayo. Ngokuqhelekileyo isicwangciso sokuzikhusela kwaye asikho into enenjongo ekuthethwa ngayo ukulimaza iqabane lakho. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba isicwangciso esilifundileyo sokujamelana nokusukela ebuntwaneni obunenjongo ebalulekileyo.
Kodwa, ngobudlelwane obudala, isebenza kakuhle.
I-Shut Down Partner Ngokuqhelekileyo Ivakalelwa:
- U lahliwe
- Nga nelanga
- Ukungaphumeleli
- Ukholo
- Ukuxhatshazwa
- Nga funwayo
- Criticised
- Ukuphazamiseka
Indlela Yokunceda Umlingani Wakho Uvule
- "Soften" ingxoxo yakho yokuqalisa. Musa ukuya kuye okanye umsindo okanye ukumangalela. Decompress ngaphambi kokusondela kwingxoxo ucinge ngendlela ongayibangeli ngayo inkxalabo yakho.
- Yakha indawo ekhuselekileyo yokuba iqabane lakho lixoxe nawe. Ukuba usebenza ngokuthe tye, oku akukhuselekanga.
- Mkhumbuze iqabane lakho ngezinto abakwenzayo ngokufanelekileyo ukuze bangacingi ukuba bahlala bephosakele.
- Buza ukuba ufuna ixesha lokucinga ngezinto ngaphambi kokuba athethe.
- Buza into ongayenza ukuze wenze ingxoxo ezayo ilula.
- Buza ngokukhawuleza ukuba baziva bexakekile, besaba, besaba, njalo njalo.
- Vula kwiimpendulo ngempembelelo yokuziphatha kwakho kubo.
- Hlala phantsi ngexesha elithulileyo uze uthethe ngeendlela zakho zokunxibelelana kunye nendlela onokuncedana ngayo ukuba niphumelele ngakumbi.
Ukuba oku kusasebenzi, unokuhlala uvumela umcebisi womtshato oqeqeshiweyo ukuba akukhokele. Ngamanye amaxesha umntu onenjongo yinto ethathayo ukukunceda bobabini niphumelele kwindlela yokuthetha engalunganga. Unyango lwezokwelapha lufundisa kwakhona iqabane elithintekayo ukuba kukho ezinye iinqunto, njengokuvumela ukuba iqabane likwazi indlela abazizwa ngayo (ukwesaba, ukuphazamiseka, njl.), Ukuzithoba, ukulawula iimvakalelo zabo ngcono, ukuphucula ukubandakanyeka kwengqondo, nokuphuhlisa ukhuseleko ukunxulumana neqabane lawo. Ekugqibeleni, ukwenza ezo zixhobo ngokubambisana kufuneka kukuncedise bobabini banalo uxolo olunzulu.