Kungaba nzima ukucinga ukuba kutheni nabani na ofuna ukuzinquma okanye ukuzilimaza ngenjongo. Kwaye kubazali abafumanisa ukuba umntwana wabo uzilimaza ngenjongo, kunokusongela.
Ukuzilimaza kunokusasazeka phakathi kwentsha. Izifundo ziqikelela ukuba i-15 ukuya kwe-20% yabantwana bayingozi ngokwabo ngenjongo. Kodwa iindaba ezilungileyo kukuba, ungathatha amanyathelo okunciphisa ukusika ngokuncedisa umntwana wakho ukuba athole izicwangciso zokuhlangabezana nokuphilisa.
Kutheni Abantwaba Bazisika?
Isenzo somzimba sokulimaza umzimba wakhe sinikeza umxhesho wesikhashana wokukhululeka ngokomzwelo. Umntwana osetsheni ozenzayo ngoku ugxininise ukulimala njengesizathu sentlungu yakhe kwaye uzive engqondweni. Ukongezelela, ukonakaliswa kokulimala kwe-endorphins kumlambo wegazi, owenza umqondo wokuphila kakuhle.
Ngoko umfana osisigxina angayinqumla ingalo yakhe njengendlela yokunciphisa uxinzelelo. Okanye umfana okhuselekileyo ukujamelana nokuxabana angadula isifuba sakhe njengendlela yokufumana intlungu, ngokuchasene nentlungu yomzwelo.
Iintsholongwane ezizilimazayo azikhohlisi kwaye ukuzilimaza akuthethi ukuba bazibulale. Kunoko, kuthetha nje ukuba banenkathazo yokujongana nentlungu yabo ngendlela ephilileyo.
Ziziphi iiNkonkxala ezizizimeleyo?
Ukuzilimaza kuchaza nayiphi na isenzo esilungileyo esenzelwe ukubangela intlungu. Amadoda asebuntwaneni abancinci abandakanyeka kule mpawu, kodwa ngokuqhelekileyo amaxesha amaninzi amabhinqa awonzakalisa imizimba yabo enzame ukujongana neengxaki okanye imeko.
Ukusika okanye ukutshiza isikhumba nge-razor blades okanye ezinye izinto ezibukhali yindlela eqhelekileyo yokuzilimaza.
Ezinye iindlela zokuzilimaza zibandakanya:
- ukutshisa ulusu ngecuba, kumdlalo okanye ukukhanya
- ukubetha esifubeni okanye kumagqabi
- bhinqa intloko eludongeni
- ukutsala iinwele entloko, okanye kwezinye iindawo
- ukuvula kwakhona okanye ukukhetha amanxeba
- ukubetha okanye ukumbamba isikhumba
Indlela Yokunceda Umntwana Ozenzayo
Ukuba uyakrokrela ukuba umntwana wakho uyazilimaza ngamabomu, kubalulekile ukungenelela. Ezi nyathelo zinokukunceda uqale ingxoxo uze umfumane uncedo oluyimfuneko alufunayo.
1. Cela umntwana wakho ngokuthe ngqo ukuba uyazilimaza. Ngokuqhelekileyo indlela echanekileyo iyona ndlela iphumelelayo. Cacisa ukuba injongo yakho kukumnceda, kungekhona ukugweba okanye ukuhlwaya Buza, "Ngaba wenze ukuba utywebe ngengalo yakho ngenjongo?" okanye "Ngaba uzilimaza?"
3. Yazisa intlungu yakho yentsha . Ukuxelela umntwana ukuba ashiye okanye aphume isigwebo akayi kusebenza. Qinisekisa iimvakalelo zakhe kwaye uveze ukuba kufuneka ukuba abe nemvakalelo embi ukuba uyazilimaza.
4. Khangela imisebenzi eyenziwa ngumntwana wakho xa eziva ukuba ufuna ukuzilimaza. Ukubiza umhlobo, ukuhamba, okanye ukudweba nje izinto ezimbalwa ezinokuthi uncede umntwana wakho abonise iimvakalelo zakhe ngendlela ephilileyo.
5. Thatha amanyathelo okutshintsha ukuziphatha kwakho okwenzakutsha. Thetha kumntwanantwana wengane yakho ukuba ufumane ukuthunyelwa kumgqirha. Ingcali yezempilo yengqondo inokufundisa iindlela zakho ezisemgangathweni zokulawula iimvakalelo zakhe.
6. Nceda intsha yakho yenza uluhlu lwabantu ukuthetha nabo .
Ukuthetha nabahlobo kunye nentsapho ethembekileyo kunokumnceda akwazi ukujamelana noxinzelelo kunye nokunciphisa ukuzilimaza.
7. Yiba nomonde wakho nomntwana . Ukuziphatha okuzilimazayo kuthatha ixesha lokuphuhlisa kwaye kuya kuthatha ixesha lokutshintsha. Ekugqibeleni kuya kwintsholongwane ukwenza ukhetho ukuzinceda.
Ngokuqatshelwa kwangaphambili, inkxaso evela kwintsapho yakhe, kunye noncedo lobuchwepheshe, unokukwazi ukuyeka ukuzilimaza.
Imithombo:
UMartin J, i-Bureau JF, i-Yurkowski K, i-Fournier TR, i-Lafontaine MF, i-Cloutier P. Iimeko ezinobungozi ezinokwakhela ukuzilimala okungabikho okuzibulala: Ukucinga malunga neempembelelo zokungabikho kakubi, amava obomi obubi, kunye neengxaki zomzali kunye nomntwana. Umbhalo we-Adolescence 2016; 49: 170-180.
PL Plener, TS Schumacher, uLM Munz, uRC Groschwitz. Ixesha elide lokuzilimala ngokungenzi ukuzibulala nokuzilimaza ngokuzikhethela: uhlaziyo oluchanekileyo lwencwadi. Umngcipheko woMntu woLuntu kunye noHlaselo lweMvakalelo , 2 (2015), iphe. 2.